Chapter 193 - Need You

ETAN

Etan almost wept with the overwhelming joy of taking her. And his body almost tumbled into climax. Had it really only been a day? He felt as if they'd been apart, robbed from each other for months. His hands shook, his breath shuddered, his body sought. And when he pressed into her, the pleasure and shock of taking her arched his back.

He threw his head back and gave a guttural groan—hushed, but barely. He prayed the men wouldn't hear them, that Ayleth wouldn't be embarrassed. But he couldn't stop, couldn't leave her, had to have her, and as he thrust into her and her mouth fell open, he took those soft pillow lips with his own, covering her with his body, releasing her hand so he could touch and stroke, his breath thundering and hoarse.

When she smiled it was sunlight to his heart, and her tears were rain to his parched skin.

The feelings within him, the pent up fear and frustration, the love, the abject terror that she would draw away, the relief of having her close and no longer hiding from his parents… all of it conspired to electrify his blood.

The hair on his arms stood tall, his skin quivered, every nerve ending in his body seemed to rush to the surface so that everywhere they touched—not only where they joined, but their chests, their stomachs, their thighs, shivered with pleasure.

He had become a blade of grass in the wind of her, and he was bowed, fluttering, surrendered utterly to her, even as his body demanded more, and he began to pant, his breath hissing through his gritted teeth as he fought for control.

Ayleth was coming apart in his arms. He could feel her shaking, had already kissed the tears from her cheeks. Her breath broke in small, harsh puffs, and tiny cries rode them as she clung to him, her fingers digging into his back. But he felt no pain, as he rolled into her again, he welcomed the sense of her nearness, yearned to take her in.

Then, as his control shredded, he cupped both hands over her head, took her mouth, and began to take, pounding into her.

Ayleth's mouth dropped open and he couldn't breath, but he couldn't bare to lose the kiss, so left his lips, open and hovering, brushing hers with every thrust as they moved together, clinging.

"Etan… oh god—"

She was close, so close. He buried one hand in her hair and dropped his nose to her neck, latching on right under her ear.

Goosebumps pebbled her skin from her neck, washing down her side and his own pleasure began to peak. If he didn't help her now, he was going to fail her.

"Ayleth," he gasped, "Look at me!"

Her eyes flew open, wide and startled, locking on his. And he saw it all within her—the love, the joy, the fear, the trembling uncertainty of everything that had happened.

It broke his heart and made him want to beat his chest in the same moment.

As he drew almost the entire way out of her and gritted his teeth against the climax that pounded at his door, he slid one hand down to the arch of her back, pulling up on her hip as he thrust into her again with a guttural moan.

Ayleth's breath stopped and she arched, her eyes going so wide he saw the whites all the way around. Then she cried his name and her body shuddered, twitching, as she clenched around him just as he drew out again.

Thrusting again, his toes digging into the cloak, searching for purchase to match the intensity of what was happening within him, he wheezed her name again, and again as he hit his own peak and tumbled over the cliff, free-falling into pleasure, into Ayleth, shaking and moaning with the sheer bliss of it all.

It was stunning and went on and on, his entire body overwhelmed and rigid with tension even when Ayleth slumped.

Unable to stop himself groaning, he buried his face in her neck and groaned against her skin. Ayleth's arms circled his neck and she pulled him closer, whimpering his name.

Then, as quickly as it had hit, his climax released and like a wave drifting out from the shore, the tension and strength of him seeped out and away and he slumped over her.

They lay together, both panting, their bodies sheened in sweat. Neither of them moved for a long moment. Ayleth blew out a breath that ruffled in his hair. Her fingers dug into his shoulders again, then released.

Etan felt boneless bliss. He knew he was crushing her, but when he tried to lift his weight onto his elbows, she clung again and whispered, "No, stay."

Etan relaxed, fingers trailing distractedly through her hair. "That was…"

"I know." Her voice still hitched as if she fought tears. Etan's fingers tightened in her hair.

"Tell me, Ayleth. Tell me how to reassure you so you don't want to cry."

"I don't know," she said. "But it's already getting better. I just… I just need to be close to you, I think. And I need you to not hide anything from me."

He shook his head, nuzzling her jaw. "I won't," he murmured, kissing her cheek softly. "I won't hide anything, ever again."

Ayleth snorted. "How about we just promise that we'll never make decisions that affect each other without talking about it?"

"I can do that."

"Can you, Etan?" she asked, that wavering breathlessness in her voice. "Because I fear what is coming—what it will require of both of us. And I fear that you might be convinced again, to hide from me for my own good. I couldn't take that again, Etan. You… it almost broke me."

Etan pushed up onto his elbows to meet her eyes, let her see the grief in his at what he'd done.

"I'm sorry, Ayleth. Truly, deeply sorry."

"I know. And I love you," she said, pulling him down again, to cover her with his weight. She kissed his temple and let her fingers stroke through his hair. "Just hold me. Please."

And so, he did.