151 Remi journal /Remi therapy

When Yona got settled on the plane he pulls out Remi's journal. He wants to know why she mutilated herself. It is tarring him up inside not knowing if he will make a miss step or not. 

Remi is settled in the sun room under hypnosis. Her voice is barely audible and is shakier than normal. 

"Dean and his friends are wasted. They are loud and reek of alcohol and vomit. They are coming into the parking lot from the football field stumbling and falling around. Dean sees me and starts taunting me. I try to ignore them but they keep coming. I begin to pray that my Dad would hurry up so that I can leave. I'm the only one left besides these morons. I begin walking towards the front of the school to put distance between us. Dean starts to run towards me. I take off running only to be pulled down by my hair. He hits me across the face and spits on me. I'm screaming inside my head begging my Dad to please hurry. The others are trying to get up but keep falling . Dean is dragging me across the asphalt. My body is on fire from the scrapes across it. He stops to kick me a few time to get me to stop squirming and trying to get away. I can taste blood in my mouth I try to turn to spit it out but he hits me again. This time he picks me up and throws me into the back of his truck . I try to get up to get out before he can get in. He grabs me by the hair again and knocks me back down. Straddling me he pulls his hunting knife out. Taking my cheerleading uniform hem he cuts off my uniform first my shirt then my shirt and panties. Laughing at my struggles. He pulls my hair to keep my head still. Looking into my eyes he tells me exactly what he is going to do. First I'm going to finish what I wasn't able to do to your cousin. He is putting his hands around my throat. I can't breathe. He rams his cock into me like a jack hammer. Squeezing my throat with every thrust. I'm trying to scream but nothing comes out. It hurts so much but there is nothing I can do . When he screams at the top of his lungs and spills himself inside of me. He finally lets go of my throat . I'm gasping for air but he won't let me go. I go to put my knee into his groin but he stops me. He gets angry and starts slashing me with the knife cursing me with every slash. Telling me that he will murder every member of my family if I open my mouth if I survive. Picking my head up he licks the blood from my mouth and smiles at me. Telling me my father will die first. The guys on the ground start to stir. Dean picks me up and lays me behind some trash bags by the dumpster throwing my uniform on top of me. I hear them slamming the doors and leaving. It's so cold now I can't feel anything but pain. I hope I die so that he won't hurt anyone else. "  

" if I had died maybe my father would still be alive and my mother and brother would be happier." Maureen gasps and crosses the room to take her in her arms. 

"A woman never gets over the death of a child. She can get passed the death of a husband and sometimes find love again. There is no getting past the death of a child. Don't ever think that your father would have had it any other way. You are not responsible for the death of your father. Only those who committed the act is. I know if he was given the choice he would have chosen to die to save you. You were the very sun to that man. " Remi hugs Maureen and thanks her for being there with her. She gets up and slowly walks out of the room quietly closing the door. 

Winona looks after and thinks to herself what is Yona going to feel when he reads the journal. 

Yona feels the desperation and pain Remi was feeling as he reads her journal. The anger inside of him is about to explode. He needs for this plane to land soon so he can find a way to vent it. His poor baby she has had to carry this burden for so long alone. He closes his eyes and feels the tears of his frustration and anger spill down his cheeks. Thank goodness he is in first class where he can hide his face till he can calm down. Thinking of Remi and the pain she went through he knows now just how strong she really is. His love and admiration has grown even more. God he misses her already and it's only been a few hours. Looking at the journal he has in his hand he puts it in his briefcase. He doesn't think he can read anymore yet. His heart and head hurts to much thinking of such a tiny girl living through that. He instead closes his eyes and thinks about her loving but shy smile. Falling asleep dreaming of her. 

Remi after leaving the sun room goes upstairs to Yona's room,  well for now her room.  Laying on the bed she hugs his pillow breathing in his scent. She begins to cry at the memories that she just revisited. She knows that purging these memories won't make her forget them but will help her to let go of the anger and hate they bring. Closing her eyes she thinks of Yona and his warm arms around her. 

Yona is laying on a beach with the warm sun shinning. There is a shadow suddenly blocking the sun from his face. There standing in front of him is Remi . She is dressed in a one piece with a large hat and shorts, Smiling brightly at him.  Holding out his hand to her she takes it and pulls him to his feet. Hugging him tightly as if her life depended on it. He looks down at her and kisses her forehead before swinging her into his arms carrying her into the ocean. They play in the waves, splashing , kissing holding hands. When the tides shifts they go back and sit on the sand . Yona sitting behind her holding her watching the sunset nuzzling her neck.smelling the faint smell of her shampoo mixed with the ocean . he feels a tap on his shoulder it's the stewardess letting him know they have landed in France. There is a layover of a few hours so he gathers his things. When he gets settled at the lobby area at the next gate he calls Remi. When she answers she sounds like she is half asleep. Deciding he wants to face time with her he switches over. 

Remi's face appears on his screen and he notices she is in his bed. 

"hmmm you were sleeping. I'm sorry to wake you. I just wanted to share the sunset in France with you." He turns the camera to show her the sunset. She sighs at how beautiful it is. Thinking about the sunset she just dreamed about she tells him

" It's beautiful how long before your connecting flight?" 

"Hmm four hours. What are you doing later!" He asks. 

"Nothing I was thinking when the sunset here I would call you but you will be in flight. Do you like the beach. Seeing the sunset makes me think of sitting on a beach with you watching one." 

He gasps at her answer. 

" I just dreamed about us being on a beach sitting on the sand watching a sunset together. It felt so real I could smell your shampoo." 

Remi wonders did she visit his dream . Deciding to ask some more questions. 

" Hmm really in my dream we were playing in the surf." 

he smiles at the similarity in their dreams. 

"I'm mine to you let me hold your hand and kiss you a few times. When the tide began to change we came out to dry off and watch the sunset." He tells her. 

"that sounds wonderful. Maybe we can visit the beach sometime when it gets warm again? That sounds like a lot of fun." They talk for a few moments longer before she hangs up. She needs to talk to Maureen to see if she can really visit him in his dreams. If so then maybe these next few weeks can go a little bit more pleasurable. Jumping off the bed she goes to find out just what she can do.