213 Commander’s trials 3

The men arrive at the house just as Aisling and HeJin we're setting the table . HeJin anxiously looks at her husband . He is too quiet and looks exhausted. No brusises or cuts other than the ones from his mission. So he must have not fought with anyone. Steve walks over to his wife and wraps his arms around her, soaking in her warmth. Kissing her cheek he takes a seat. 

they have a wonderful meal laughing and teasing with each other , all except Steve . He has barely talked since coming back from their hike. After saying good night to everyone Steve drinks the tea Aisling made for him goes up to bed. HeJin  goes to follow him and he stops her.

" I'm sorry , I know except for when I was on deployment ;we have never slept apart . Tonight I need to be alone , I don't know what I might dream and do not want to accidentally hurt you. " he slowly with his head lowered walks up the stairs. 

HeJin's head lowers in sadness ,but understanding that he is doing this for her sake ;she goes to get her night things and moves to Salali's room .  HeJin hears Steve in the shower so she hurried to get her things. After getting her things she goes down to talk to her brother in law. John is sitting in the kitchen with Astila and Inola  having a cup of tea. HeJin walks in and asks. 

" what happened today? Why is he so quiet?" John knows he can't lie to her and it isn't fair to keep things from her. So he tells her. 

" When we were at Macha's shack he relived the time he was held captive in Vietnam." By the surprise on HeJin's face he now realizes that Steve May have never told her. So he explains. 

"The first medal he ever received was for rescuing his unit from captivity in Vietnam. He had to kill a lot of people that day to escape. My brother was nineteen when he was captured, he celebrated his twentieth birthday while in captivity. It's something he has never spoken of since. When he came home was just after that. That was the time he spoke of when Norma passed away. I guess he is worried that he may have nightmares now that it has resurfaced. " 

HeJin is okay with what her husband wants now that she understands more. HeJin asks a favor of them. 

"Steve is in the shower now do you think we can gather in the living room once he is in bed. I want to have a prayer before we all retire. I noticed that praying bothered him yesterday , I guess it's the effects of the corruption, but I think it will help us all . " 

john agreed to wait till they know he is in bed before he leaves for the night.Crystal comes in and looks at John with her hands on her hips she glares at him. John tries not to laugh because he knows she upset. Crystal points her finger at him and lets him have it. 

"I know you want to help but there are some things that grown ups need to do by themselves. There will be times that you may be the only person who can reach him. During those times you can help him. Right now he just needs to feel how much we love and accept him. " watching the little girl come to understand what he is saying john's heart begins to ache for her. He rembers how it feels to be helpless to do anything to help. This child in his arms is a very special little girl. 

Remi comes into the kitchen to get Crystal for bed. Remi sees that her Uncle is holding her so she leaves her for now. Remi knows that Crystal has not had a lot of time with him since his surgery,so bed time can wait a few minutes. Aisling comes in and lets them know that Steve has gone to bed. So everyone gathers in the living room holding hands they begin to pray for him . 

The room is dark and the man on the bed is sweating profusely, his body racked in pain. Steve is at war with himself inside, sitting in darkness he sees himself as if looking in a mirror. The man he sees is not the man he wants to be. It is someone who takes pleasure in the pain of others, someone who has no empathy or compassion. Steve asks them man 

"why are you here to torment me. Who are you?" 

laughing he answers.

" I am The Commander, I am the side of you that makes you great. The part of you that gives you the ability to do your job,  while still being the loving man to your family. Without me you would have died a long time ago. I take all of the anger and despair you feel and turn it into victories on the battlefield. You need me to do your job and I need you to still be human. We can not survive apart but together we are unstoppable. Together we make you who you are. You cannot shut me out if you are going to beat this trial. Marbas only caused us to separate in your mind and has caused a sickness in your soul. We can beat this. We just need to work together not fight . If you embrace all parts of yourself then you can endure and heal. If not even the babe will not be able to help you. You must accept yourself and forgive yourself before you can be whole." Holding out his hand to Steve the commander asks him to unite against the common enemy and become one. Steve takes his hand and then the darkness covers them. 

over the next few days Steve is moody and agitated but bearable to be around, HeJin is still In Salali's room at night but stays close by her husband during the day. Maureen moved to the new house and is walking to Aisling's house when a sharp pain tightens like a vice around her stomach. She calls out for help. Steve and HeJin are the only ones at home at the moment. When maureen can't get anyone to answer her screams she fumbles for her cell phone calling Aisling's house. Steve answers. 

"Momo what's wrong?" 

"The baby it's coming and I'm on the trail to the house please come help me." Her voice is already tired sounding. Steve heats it and rushes out of the house. Running full speed towards Maureen. His thoughts begin to get jumbled and he stops just long enough to calm himself by saying a prayer. 

"Father I cannot and will not battle this malice that overtakes me right now. Momo needs me to be there for her. Take this from me now . " if John was to here he would be chastised for being so demanding in prayer but he doesn't have time to speak eloquently. 

steve heats Maureen and rushes to her side he picks her up and carries her to the car. HeJin gets in the back seat with Maureen as they drive to the hospital. 

"HeJin call Onacona let him know we are on our way, then call Moll since she is delivering the babe. Once we get there we can inform the rest of the family. " Steve is barking orders as if she is one of his men. Maureen smiles to herself thinking there's my boy. Moll and Astila are at the entrance of the hospital when they arrive. Maureen gives Steve a loving glance knowing how hard these last days have been for him. Facing one's demons is hard and exhausting. He is holding up rather well she thinks. 

Moll gets Maureen to the floor and starts barking orders at the nurses. HeJin lets out a giggle, Astila looks at her quizzingly . She enlightens him. 

"It just struck me that Steve sounds like Moll when he is in commander mode. I now know who he gets it from. Neither of his parents were stern or demanding like him. He has Moll's iron will and determination and Maureen's analytical but gentle way sometimes. " 

Astila had never thought to compare any of them before to see whose traits they have he has always just gone with the flow. Now watching Moll through the eyes of a soldier he can see it. Oh boy can he see it. Looking at how they both stand and how their brows crinkle the same way. Good lord HeJin is right Moll is a female version of Steve when she is in commander mode. Astila thinks to himself you two wait , I am going to a a field day with this when things calm down.