Chapter 33

Although the time inside his bellybutton was moving faster than the time outside his bellybutton, Baby Vremya still had to deal with growing up as a child, and growing up as a child meant having to deal with his caretaker, the old lady who had plucked him out of the river. It was disappointing how weak lower lifeforms were when they were just born. Without any aid, a baby would die in a few days, and Vremya wasn’t going to let that happen. That’s why, some of his pride as a god had to be tossed away. It was a small price to pay for growing a godly avatar, but that wasn’t the main reason why he swallowed his pride. If it weren’t for the fact he wouldn’t have another separate dimension to grow an avatar, he might’ve descended and slapped a few worlds around for all the transgressions his baby-self had encountered.

The first injustice—he was forced to wear clothes. The second injustice—the old lady had the audacity to pee in a river. The third injustice—the food tasted like dirt, yet the old lady forced him to eat it and had the gall to call him a fussy eater. The fourth injustice—he couldn’t voice out anything! It took all the spiritual energy within his tiny little body to project his name to the old lady, and the recovery speed of his energy was pitiful. Being able to say one word a week, it would’ve been better to be unable to say anything at all. The only silver lining Baby Vremya could find was the fact the stinky dog wasn’t watching him. There wasn’t a livestream of his embarrassments playing on a display somewhere.

Much of Baby Vremya’s day involved being strapped to the old lady’s back as she washed clothes by the river and gardened outside. Today was one of the days he was strapped to her back, his vision obscured by the shadow cast by the straw hat placed on his head. Even though his vision was obscure, he could still see into the neighbor’s yard where a baby was sitting on a plush cushion with grapes in its hands. It was eating the grapes while staring right at Baby Vremya, and he couldn’t help but feel as if the creature were mocking him.

Somehow, the old lady seemed to have noticed his discomfort. She took Baby Vremya off of her back and took a seat, placing Baby Vremya into her lap. She leaned over and grabbed Vremya’s arm, lifting it to wave at the other baby—another transgression, in Vremya’s mind. The old lady bounced Baby Vremya up and down with her leg. “Let me tell you a story, Vremya. I think the two of you can learn something from it.”

The two of them? Baby Vremya didn’t want to learn something a literal baby was capable of learning. He was a god, and he should be treated as one! What lowly knowledge could someone from the lower dimension teach him?

“Once upon a time, there were two zebras,” the old lady said. “Do you know what a zebra is?”

Of course. Baby Vremya rolled his eyes, the only way to signal the old lady and tell her how impudent her question was. However, the old lady was a being from the lower dimension, and she couldn’t understand the message he was trying to convey. Instead, the old lady bounced him up and down even more. “A zebra is a horse with black and white stripes,” the old lady said. “They’re special creatures, and they’re capable of changing the colors of their stripes with their minds. If they see a pattern they like, they can remember it, and a month later, when they’ve shed all their previous fur, the new pattern appears.”

Baby Vremya yawned. It was annoying how tired lower dimension lifeforms got while they were young. It took a lot of energy to grow, and that’s all infants focused on—growing. It didn’t help that he already knew where the old lady’s story was going. As the god of time, what hadn’t he heard? Just as expected, the story continued in the direction he predicted.

“The two zebras were best of friends. Zebra Number One had four brothers, and Zebra Number Two was an only child. Zebra Number One was jealous of Number Two because of how peaceful it was with no siblings around. Zebra Number Two was jealous of Number One because Number Two always felt lonely after Number One left with his siblings.”

Baby Vremya closed his eyes. The old lady was such a horrible storyteller. She didn’t even name the zebras, just calling them one and two. Well, what was he expecting? A riveting tale? Unlikely. For boring him, Baby Vremya added another transgression to the list of transgressions that he recorded in his head.

“That’s how the two of you are feeling right now,” the old lady said, pointing Baby Vremya towards the baby in the other garden. “You want to eat grapes, and she wants to be carried. Now, let me continue the story for you. Since a zebra could change its stripes, Zebra Number One and Zebra Number Two made a deal between themselves. They would change their fur and grow each other’s stripe pattern! That way, Number One could live as Number Two, and Number Two could live as Number One.”

Baby Vremya exhaled. How predictable. Next, the old lady would tell him how the first zebra didn’t enjoy living as the second zebra, and the second zebra didn’t enjoy living as the first zebra. What a mundane way to say the grass wasn’t always greener on the other side.

“A month passed,” the old lady said, her expression bright and lively as if she were trying to fascinate the two babies. “Zebra Number One had turned into Zebra Number Two, and Zebra Number Two turned into Zebra Number One. The two of them were ready to trade families to live as each other. So, Zebra Number Two went to live with Zebra Number One’s family, and Zebra Number One went to enjoy his freedom that came with solitude.” The old lady’s expression hardened. “The next day, they were both eaten by lions. The end.”

Huh??? Question marks floated above Baby Vremya’s head. What the hell kind of story was that? It was so horrible that he hadn’t even thought it was a possible ending, and he was a god! Baby Vremya decided to say the word he had been saving up his energy for a week for. “What.”

The old lady flinched and looked around. Perhaps a neighbor had heard her and had said that from inside a building. She cleared her throat. “So, Vremya, I hope you’ve learned your lesson. There’s no need to be jealous about anyone else because we will all die one day. I will die in a few years, and eventually, you’ll grow old like me and also die.”

The baby in the neighbor’s garden dropped its grapes and cried for its mommy. Meanwhile, Baby Vremya questioned God Vremya’s decision to send him underneath this old lady’s wings. Could she really raise a child correctly? Well, it wasn’t like Baby Vremya was planning on staying with the old lady for a long time. Once he was old enough to walk and fend for himself, he was leaving and never coming back.