Chapter 388 - No Kisses

Even after playing around for over 2 hours, Shui Xian was like a kid who was reluctant to let go of his favorite toy. He just couldn't get enough of it. He didn't know what was exactly wrong with him. 

It was true that he had been feeling down since the time he learned about Raelle's kidnappings. He actually knew that there was no point in thinking about it but he couldn't help himself. Even after days, his brain was replaying her words over and over again. And just imagining what she went through chilled his heart. 

Raelle had spoken so casually about it as if it was just any ordinary situation. However, the version playing out in his mind was making him feel intense pain. He didn't know how she felt in those situations. Was she scared? Did she feel helpless? Did she panic? At the age she was kidnapped, kids would usually go through those emotions, right?

He remembered when he was 7 years old, he actually got lost in the fair and he was so scared that he started crying. And when his mother found him, he hugged her for hours refusing to let go. Even such a small incident left a huge mark on his memory. 

Did she not go through any of those emotions? Even if he knew she was unfamiliar with emotions, it was hard for him to imagine such a young kid not feeling anything about such dangerous situations. In a way, her life was always at stake at that time and yet she felt nothing about it.

Even in those hopeless situations, she had the mind to find a way out for herself. 

Just how strong a person's heart and mind had to be to accomplish what she did? Don't they say kids are fragile? A wound on a child's heart takes a whole life to heal and he understood that very well. 

He had seen Zhai Yanjun trying to cope up with the wounds that his childhood left on his heart. In a way, Zhai Yanjun even had to go through PTSD because of his childhood experiences. 

And that's why it was really difficult for him to relate to Raelle. He was even confused whether he really wanted Raelle to feel anything or not? Wasn't it good like this as well? At least in this way, she didn't have to suffer because of the pain of her past. 

"And here I thought you'd be happy now."

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Raelle's voice and found her looking at him. Shui Xian's lips stretched out in a big smile, "I am happy." He opened his arms and tried to hug but Raelle stepped back to put some distance between them. Shui Xian gaped at her in disbelief.

"You gotta wash up first," she said straightforwardly.

Only then did Shui Xian look down and notice how he looked right now. Grass stalks stuck to him here and there. There was even mud on him. No wonder she took a step away from him.

"Then how about a kiss?" he tried to negotiate.

Raelle shook her head flatly, "Not happening unless you really wash up."

"It's just a kiss," he insisted.

"You kissed the dog as well," she reminded him.

Shui Xian pursed his lips and sighed out eventually as he raised his hands saying, "Got it, boss! I'll clean up first."

Raelle nodded in a well-mannered way, "Yes, please do and come down for dinner."

"Okay," agreed Shui Xian as he went up.

Later that night, when Raelle was about to go to bed, Shui Xian hooked his finger to beckon her over to his side, "Come here, baby!"

"What for?" she questioned but she still walked over to his side of the bed. 

Shui Xian held her wrist and pulled her over making her fall on his lap. Hugging her waist, he kissed her cheek, "Thank you!"

Raelle blinked at him and from that one look, Shui Xian knew she had no idea why he was saying that. Only she was capable of doing that really.

"I don't know why you suddenly thought about bringing Coco over but I'm really happy that you did. Thank you so much!"

Raelle pushed his hair away from his forehead saying, "Haven't you been looking for that dog every morning? I only found her because you seemed like you wanted to see her." She took a pause and added, "And since I wanted to make you happy, I just did what I thought would make you happy."

Something swelled inside his heart when he heard that. Kissing the tip of her nose, he said, "I am already very happy to have you in my life right now."

"But that isn't enough," she said to him. "Our lives can't possibly revolve around just one person. That's unrealistic. Maybe my presence does make you happy but the happiness brought by me and the happiness brought by seeing that dog are two different things. It can't possibly be the same." 

Shui Xian just stared at her with a gentle look in his eyes, "It really isn't the same. I just never thought happiness also had categories."

"Why can't happiness has categories?" asked Raelle. "Different people are associated with different feelings in our lives, no? Then how come the happiness they bring us is the same? It isn't."

Shui Xian held her face and wrapped his lips around hers in a gentle kiss. The kiss was gentle, soft, and lingering. It wasn't the kind to take your breath away. It was very comforting and very gripping as well. Because the comfort it brought to his heart was addictive. Something he couldn't possibly pull himself away from.

It's not like he wished to pull away either. 

Clinging on to her had already become somewhat of a habit of his now. No matter what he just couldn't move away from her.. If she was around, he wanted to just hold her in his arms.