Chapter 504 - Why Now?

Raelle didn't know what he was expecting from her by telling her that. Her blank face was her identity but it made Xiang Weimin feel nervous and made his palms sweaty. He had never been this nervous in his life. Although he usually didn't have an expression on his face, he gave off a different impression than Raelle. She looked like that doll with limpid eyes staring right into his soul. 

It was uncomfortable. It really was.

After a long moment of silence, Raelle's lips finally moved, "What makes you think I don't know that?"

"I know that you know I'm your brother," said Xiang Weimin. "But I wanted to be the one to say it to you."

"And that makes a difference?" questioned Raelle.

Was it really different? She already knew he was her elder brother. How did she know about it made a difference? She didn't think so. Whether he said it to her or not, it really made no difference to her. 

But this was something difficult to understand for Xiang Weimin. Just like it was difficult for Raelle to understand the emotions and need behind his words. 

Xiang Weimin tried to control his emotions and said, "Maybe it really didn't make a difference. But I just wanted to tell you this myself."

"Okay?" replied Raelle. "Did you stop me for only this?"

"No," Xiang Weimin hurriedly said in fear that she would leave. 

"Then please, continue," said Raelle politely. She sounded as polite as she could possibly be.

"Don't you feel something about this?" asked Xiang Weimin.

"About what?" she asked in return.

"About meeting me like this," he said. "When I saw you the other day, I was surprised, excited, a little nervous as well. In fact, it was overall a mess of emotions. Clearly, we are siblings but it's our first time even seeing each other. It must be strange to you as well."

"Not really," she responded. "There is a problem with the question you just asked me." Xiang Weimin's brows raised up in question and she went on, "Feelings don't have a place in my life. They never did. Since it's our first real interaction I believe I should make it clear to you, I don't have emotions as rich or as complex as others."

Xiang Weimin was stunned for a long while when he heard her reply.

"If you're looking to build an emotional bond here with me, it's not gonna happen. First, I don't know you. We might share the same blood but that does not give you a place in my life. Second, I'm not even capable of building emotional bonds."

Xiang Weimin was suddenly reminded of the discussion he had with Hyson the other day. He didn't know why he wasn't willing to believe in him all that much. He thought he'd be able to cozy up to her with his sincerity but was he really wrong? Looking at her, she didn't seem to be joking.

"Are you angry with me? Or maybe you hate me?" he asked out of nowhere. "Is that why you don't want to have anything to do with me?"

"You're mistaken," said Raelle. "Whether it's anger or it's hate, I don't know how both of those feel like. If anything, I find emotions to be quite tiring and troublesome. And I'm the person who had always avoided troublesome things in my life." She took a pause to add, "As for having anything to do with you or not, I believe that's not up to me. At the end of the day, we share the same blood. We are siblings and that can't be changed. It's the entanglement we can't deny. But we are just two strangers."

Xiang Weimin couldn't seem to find a way to retort to her. Instead, he found her words to be true. They were indeed just strangers to each other even with the same blood in their veins.

"We are indeed strangers," he muttered. "But we can find a way to become familiar with each other." He looked at her with those hopeful eyes. "It's the familiarity that builds a relationship. Can't we try to find a way to get familiar? I just want to be close to you."

"Is that why you called out Hyson to talk?" asked Raelle.

Xiang Weimin was taken aback when he heard that. He did not think she'd know about this. "He told you about that?" 

"There is nothing that Hyson won't share with me," said Raelle. She wasn't bragging, she was merely stating a fact here. It was just as she said. The basis of their friendship was honesty. They had always been transparent to each other and never even tried to hide anything from the other. And never felt the need to do so either.

There was no emotion in her voice. Although she sounded just as pleasantly bland as always, he seemed to feel like he heard an undertone of pride in her words. And those words just stung him and felt bitter as well. It made him once again realize that he had no place in her life. It reminded him that Hyson was the one who had a place in her life. And he had a place that he wished to have but didn't.

"Anyway, do you remember what Hyson told you?" asked Raelle making Xiang Weimin look at her. "You don't have a place in my life." She had never been the one to mince her words, no matter how brutal it sounded. She had always been straightforward to the point of being rude. But she didn't care about it. Never did, and never will.

"I can try to find a place of my own in your life," he insisted.

"How come you didn't think about finding that place in my life before this day?" asked Raelle to him. "I don't think my Opa or Yanyan ever stopped you from finding your way to me. Am I wrong?"

Xiang Weimin was stumped by her question.