Chapter 535 - Give Up On You

First, Shui Xian was stunned by her words and then he looked helpless, "It's not the same thing, wife."

"But it is actually the same thing," was her response. "Everything has cause and effect in life. You can't change that. No matter how we have advanced in technology, it can't change the fact that death is inevitable. And the most uncertain thing about death is that we never know how or where it'll catch up to us. Maybe you were the fuse your mother drove out that day but how does that confirm that you're the reason for her death?"

"How are you always so rational?" he asked. "But not everyone can accept what you just said."

"That's because human loves to find someone to blame for what they are going through," she replied. "It's in human nature. Even if that someone is their own self, they'd still choose to find someone to vent on. Perhaps it's because even after knowing that death is inevitable, we still look for reasons behind it. We never bother thinking that maybe the dead had reached the end of his journey." She took a brief pause to add, "You've been doing the same as well. You've been living in guilt for years thinking you killed her. But Bà is also living in this guilt because it was his business rivals who messed with your mom's car. Now, how about you tell me whose guilt is right in place?"

Shui Xian put her hands on his face as he said, "But darling, it isn't just about that. My guilt is bigger than that. My last memory of her is telling me, 'Xian, I just want you to be happy.' But what I told her was, 'Bebe is my happiness.'" He snorted at that, "I hate the fact that I fought with my mother for her, and yet I couldn't prove to my mother that Tang Hebe was the right choice."

"What you fought for was your love," she told him. "Maybe what you wanted to prove to your mother was not that Tang Hebe was the right one for you. You wanted to prove to her that your love was right. I won't say you were young back then because no matter what you made your own choices and that's the thing, even if that love failed you, you made that choice and what I like about you is that you never regretted it."

Shui Xian was left staring into her eyes. He was always fascinated by her words and how she managed to understand him so well. It was true that his biggest guilt was the fact that he never regretted falling in love with Tang Hebe. He never called her the wrong person. Even after all the pain, he couldn't bring himself to feel regret for marrying her. But he did feel bad whenever he thought about how he failed his mother. If anything, he wanted to make his last words to his mother come true. 

However, it wasn't like that anymore. Tang Hebe was never his happiness. No, he should say he finally understood that a person should never be your happiness. Maybe they can be your door to happiness like Raelle was. Shui Xian didn't know how she always did it but even without trying, she always taught him how to love, not just her, but also himself. Ironically, she was said to not even know what love actually was.

Lately, Shui Xian had been questioning that statement. It wasn't that Raelle didn't have love or any other feelings. No, he'd like to disagree with that. She did have feelings. But her feelings were just like her intelligence, hard to comprehend. Normal people like him couldn't possibly understand her feelings.

Raelle caressed his face like he usually did with her and added, "They say love always comes with its own trials and tribulations. And there is no right or wrong in love."

"As I said once before, for someone who doesn't know what love is, you sure have a lot to say about it," Shui Xian gave a small smile.

"Xian," she called out his name seriously.

Shui Xian raised his brows at her.

"What I want you to understand is that your failed marriage is not the proof of the fact that your mother was right all along. I don't know why she insisted on not accepting Tang Hebe. What I know is that even she didn't know whether your relationship would work with her or not. She was solely making decisions following her personal feelings. It had nothing to do with you or Tang Hebe."

It was so simple to understand. Yes, indeed, his mother wasn't a fortune teller, she couldn't possibly know that his relationship would fail. She really just followed her personal feelings. How come he always found everything so complicated? But when it came to his wife, everything was always so simple and plain. 

Maybe he was the dumb one. No, he'd like to believe that his wife was more intelligent rather than saying that he was dumb. He was just a normal man. She on the other hand was not so normal. She was... Special. Yes, as Yanyan always said, Raelle was always special. Always!

Shui Xian took a deep breath feeling like some huge boulder was lifted off of his chest and he felt liberated. He put his head on her lap and closed his eyes, "I'm so happy to have you in my life."

"You should be," was Raelle's reply. "It's not like you'd find another one like me."

Shui Xian chuckled, "Good thing, I'm not looking for a second you."

"Why? One is already too much for you?"

Shui Xian honestly nodded, he pinched her nose and said, "Yes, one is already too much for me. For my heart! You keep attacking my heart in unexpected ways and my heart gets overwhelmed. My heart might give up on me at this rate."

Raelle patted his head, "No worries, at least I won't give up on you."

Shui Xian was left startled by her words, not even knowing how to respond to it.