Chapter 90 - I'm Sorry

"Don't worry about it," Brennan told her. "I may not have dated for decades but I remember what it's like."

That didn't make Harmony feel any better. It was a reminder of how alone he was.

Since it had been so long since he dated anyone it was entirely possible he hadn't recognized having feelings for Talori. Goodness knows Harmony hadn't recognized her own feelings because she was inexperienced with them. 

"Still, I'm sorry. It must be annoying since you miss Talori."

Oops. She had not meant to let that last part out! But Brennan agreed easily and not for the reason she expected. 

"Having our quartet go down to a trio has been hard," he admitted. "I know she's happier down there where she belongs but it's weird not having her around. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm never like this when the fae around me leave." 

He really hadn't realized it, had he? Would it be better or worse to leave things alone? 

While they were already on the topic, she couldn't help but ask. Realizing his feelings might help him figure out what to do. It had worked for her. 

"That's just because Talori is a special case, isn't it? I know how close you two are," Harmony said sympathetically.

Brennan let out a heavy sigh. "I'm beginning to think that's it. And here I thought all this time that it was because I was used to having anyone around and it was weird when she wasn't. 

"There's something about her that draws fae in. Now that she has more free reign to be herself, everyone in the palace adores her."

"And you don't like that."

"Of course I don't like that! I know I shouldn't care since her being happy and able to live freely among her kind was the goal the whole time. I told you there's something wrong with me."

It sounded to Harmony like he was jealous, though she had no experience with such an emotion. At least when it came to romance. Castian had only ever had eyes for her. 

"Isn't it because you're jealous?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Brennan's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "No way! For me to be jealous I would have to like her!" 

"…don't you?"

"Not like that! That would be insane. She's a mermaid and I'm a fairy." 

It sounded like he was convince himself more than anything. Harmony knew what that was like. She had been there herself not too long ago. Maybe she could help him out the way her aunt helped her. 

"So? I know a vampire/fairy couple back home. I know better than most that race isn't enough to stop your feelings when you meet someone special."

Brennan gaped at her. "You never told me about this!" 

"I only found out about it recently. Remember that coven I told you about? The one that got destroyed? Apparently the coven leader survived and ended up falling in love with an earth fairy. You can't tell anyone about this though. My aunt made me swear not to tell another witch but you aren't a witch so…"

"How would that even work?! Vampires drink blood, can't be in the sun, and have fangs!" 

"I don't know the details. But my aunt says they're happy. If two fae so physiologically different can make it work, anyone can."

Though Harmony supposed that merfolk and fairies were even more physiologically different since one species had a tail. At least both vampires and fairies had legs. Their living environments were completely different too. 

Brennan could stay underwater and Talori could stay on land though. It just took a bit of finagling. Whatever feelings he had for her might not be entirely doomed. 

Harmony couldn't speak for her mermaid friend's feelings but it was clear she cared deeply about him if nothing else. She had been rather sheltered before coming to the surface so if she did like him, it was quite likely she didn't realize it either. 

"That—that isn't—" he sputtered. 

So he was thinking about it. She had never seen him get this flustered before and it was kind of funny. He was normally the most unflappable fae she knew aside from Castian. 

"Come on, Brennan! You're miserable without her. You should at least admit your feelings to yourself."

Brennan let out an old fairy curse she didn't recognize. It must have been from before her time. He was definitely thinking about it and realizing he didn't like it. She had a similar reaction. Realizing you liked someone you weren't conventionally supposed to wasn't the most fun thing in the world. 

"Even if I do like her—and I'm not saying I do—there isn't anything I can do about it! We live in completely different worlds. I live here, she lives there."

"You can survive underwater though. And she can survive on land," Harmony pointed out. 

"So? I can't just abandon everything up here and go live under the ocean! I have things I have to do!" Brennan protested. 

"What about when they're done?"

He blinked at her, obviously derailed. "What?"'

"What about when you've done what you've set out to do? You never stay in one place for too long anyway. What if your next place was under the ocean? I think you could make it work."

Brennan's jaw dropped and he didn't reply but Harmony could see the wheels turning in his head. He was considering it. He clearly thought it was crazy but was still weighing the pros and cons and whether or not it would be possible. 

He had nothing keeping him here once he couldn't stay on at his job anymore. Fae had to either change jobs or change human identities if they owned their own businesses after a few decades so the humans didn't get suspicious. He had already been at his current job for about a decade. 

Glamours were interesting because they made you look like what the humans expected you to. If you stayed in the same place with the same humans for a long time, it automatically adjusted to make you appear older to them but if you were using it somewhere else it would look the way it usually did. So fae only had to change identities or jobs once they supposedly reached human retirement age. 

If Brennan really wanted to, once he "retired" from his current job he could go live under the ocean with Talori easily enough. He would still be accomplishing his goal of helping keep it safe. It would simply be in a different way. 

Harmony knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he had figured out how to do it from up here first though. That was why she suggested after he finished what he set out to do instead of going now. 

"I wouldn't fit in there," Brennan said with resignation after a while. 

"Aren't you the one always saying you never fit in anywhere? Go where you want and screw everyone else. I'm sure Talori would be thrilled to have you."

"You aren't accounting for her overprotective brother. I don't think he would be very happy about having a fairy come to stay near her on a long-term basis. He likes me now but that's only because I'm helping him out."

"But you would be happier there," Harmony stated rather than asked. 

It was obvious that he was happiest whenever Talori was involved. He was doing a lot worse than she was right now to Harmony's knowledge. 

The mermaid may not return his feelings but at least she cared about him. Being together in any capacity was better than nothing, wasn't it? He wouldn't be lonely even if he wasn't getting everything he wanted. 

"I…probably," Brennan admitted with another heavy sigh. "How did you know?"

"I see you every day, Brennan. It would be hard not to. Same as you noticing Castian's feelings for me."

"Fair enough. And you don't think I'm crazy either?"

"Nope. We can be crazy together."

"But being a witch that likes an elf is different than being a fairy that likes a mermaid. You two were already together and your lifestyles are a lot more compatible," he pointed out. "My liking Talori is pretty much pointless. I can only ever be her friend."

"Not necessarily," Harmony said thoughtfully. "But even if that was true, you would probably be happier with that than not seeing her very often the way you are now."

"…I can't deny that."

"What's so special about her? I've never seen you be interested in anyone before this."

A small, sad smile appeared on Brennan's face. "I feel more at home with her than I do with anyone else. We never run out of things to talk about and I could listen to her all day. She makes me happy in a way I thought I would never feel again."

Yikes. No wonder he had been so out of it since she left. Her feelings of sympathy increased. 

Harmony hesitantly reached out and hugged him, trying to be careful of the wings she couldn't see. "I'm sorry, Brennan." 

"What are you sorry for?"

"That you can't be together right now.. You deserve to be happy."