Chapter 420

"Hoo..... Hoo..... Hoo......"

The wind outside the window kept blowing the curtain, like black shadows wandering outside.

Who is standing outside the window at night?

Maybe,

Most people had this kind of speculation and similar doubts when they were young.

Zhu Shengnan was lying on the bed with his eyes open.

She has her own independent room,

Own big bed,

Own wardrobe,

Own dressing table,

She has,

A home with good conditions.

In the whole of China, the number of women called Sheng men will be astonishing if we make a statistics.

Parents themselves may not think so,

But the name itself carries a kind of depression. Even the owner who bears the name will subconsciously hate his own name.

As if one's own birth, as if one's own gender,

For their parents' families,

Is a helpless,

It's a sigh that you have to admit your fate,

Want a son,

But gave birth to a daughter,

In desperation, he named himself "Shengnan",

It is a kind of "self deception" of parents.

Human beings, because of the construction of ethics and morality, can distinguish themselves from animals, and can slowly separate from the sequence of all things;

But everything has two sides. The distortion of ethics often becomes a side effect and begins to hurt human beings themselves.

It's five o'clock in the morning,

Zhu Shengnan woke up early,

But I don't know what to do.

She is six years old. She was originally in kindergarten, but her family did not let her go to kindergarten, but asked a private teacher to teach her at home.

She did not resist, nor did she know how to resist.

I can't sleep. It's not light yet,

She can't quarrel or make trouble,

She has a home,

But in this home, the light is a little dark.

She doesn't know what she can do at this point,

Watch tv?

Read comics?

Go to your parents' room, get into their beds and act coquettish?

She just leaned against the head of the bed and sat, always, sitting.

Sit until the sky begins to shine.

Downstairs, there was the sound of footsteps. It should be his grandmother who got up and was preparing breakfast for the family.

She got up, too,

dress,

Wash,

After you've sorted yourself out,

Slowly walked downstairs.

"Sheng Nan, come and eat."

"OK, grandma."

Sheng Nan didn't sit at the table,

Instead, he stood at the door of the small room at the corner of the living room.

Grandma came up with a tray, on which there were porridge and bowls and chopsticks.

The so-called eating,

Instead of calling her granddaughter to have breakfast,

It doesn't matter whether people eat or not, and it doesn't matter whether people are hungry or not,

Bodhisattva must not owe.

Grandma carefully put the tribute food on it and put it away. Then she knelt down on the futon in front of her and kowtowed piously.

In Zhu Shengnan's memory, grandma didn't believe in Buddhism. She didn't know when to start believing.

After kneeling down,

Grandma stood up, reached out and grabbed Zhu Shengnan's wrist.

The needle was taken out by grandma and stabbed into Zhu Shengnan's arm, drawing half a tube of blood.

Then, grandma poured her granddaughter's blood into the wick.

Zhu Shengnan doesn't know where her grandmother learned this method, but she likes it very much, because she will feel more uncomfortable with other methods than blood drawing.

Grandma knelt down again, and she began to kneel down again, but this time, she knelt down to the painting under the altar.

In the painting,

Two ghosts are bad, and there is a boy in front.

Grandma prayed wordily and devoutly.

Zhu Shengnan looks at the painting. She has seen it for many times.

Many days and nights, grandma holds a whip, or dad holds a cigarette end, or simply let himself beat himself,

Right in front of this picture,

It means to let the two ghosts in this painting see it.

Say,

As long as you do this,

Dad can have a son.

Yes,

Dad wants a son,

Grandma also wants a grandson.

They want the kind of boy in the words,

The following structure is different from myself.

Zhu Shengnan knows that he is completely a redundant role in this family. He has been redundant since he was born.

She forgot whether she had cried or not,

It also blurred whether he had made trouble,

If this is a besieged city,

Then it doesn't have a door to let you in and out at all.

People outside the city can't see inside,

People in the city can't go outside.

People cannot decide which family they are born in. Once born, you have no choice.

The Bodhisattva finished eating,

It's time for people to eat.

Zhu Shengnan sat down at the dinner table, and his grandmother filled her porridge.

On the table, there are steamed buns, pickles, eggs, milk and so on.

Except in that small room,

Grandma is very good to herself,

Care about your own food,

Care about your clothes,

Take care of yourself,

Very considerate of yourself,

It's like taking care of your sweetheart,

Zhu Shengnan remembers,

Grandma used to be a pig farmer, so she could afford her father to go to college and work.

Dad came down. He sat at the table, smiled at Zhu Shengnan, and then asked

"Did the Bodhisattva eat it?"

"Yes." Grandma replied.

"Well."

Dad ate casually and got up to go to work. Before leaving, he specially said, "I won't come back tonight."

"Well, don't come back."

Zhu Shengnan knows that dad is going to live with other women tonight.

This matter,

Grandma also knows.

He wants a son,

She wants grandchildren,

Mother and son have the same goal.

Mother gave birth to herself at her first birth,

After that, three consecutive fetuses were female infants when they underwent B-ultrasound, and they all miscarried.

In fact, a long time ago, the State stipulated that doctors were not allowed to disclose the sex of infants when doing B-ultrasound.

But the regulations are always good, and the original intention of the above is always good,

However,

It is not machines that carry out regulations, but people.

Even if the regulations are so, there are absolutely countless examples of people who know that their wife is pregnant with a daughter and intend to have an abortion every year.

This may be,

It is also a kind of luck.

Those baby girls, if born in a family where people will flow if they know it is a baby girl, in fact, it is really better to leave early and wait for the next reincarnation.

It simply ends at the beginning. Compared with the treatment and injustice they will suffer after birth, it seems that it is not a bad thing.

But Zhu Shengnan knows,

Dad has many women outside,

Several women are pregnant,

But they are still girls and have been knocked out.

Dad is a dentist,

He let his own woman have an abortion, as crisp as pulling out a tooth for a patient himself.

No son, no matter how many daughters they have, it makes no sense for both mother and son.

This is a kind of obsession,

A kind of obsession that seems unimaginable to outsiders.

After dad left, mom came down.

Mom's hair is a little messy,

The spirit is not very good.

Zhu Shengnan is a little afraid of his mother,

Especially when I am sitting at the same table with my mother.

"Pa!"

"It's hot!"

Mother was scalded by porridge,

The porridge bowl was overturned, and the hot porridge was sprinkled on Zhu Shengnan.

Zhu Shengnan's body trembled slightly, didn't shout pain, and even didn't pay attention.

Mom did it on purpose,

She knows,

Mother doesn't like herself and hates herself.

She felt that Zhu Shengnan was the culprit who caused her family to look like this now.

If I were a boy, my mother would still have a happy family.

"This broom boy is angry at the sight!"

Mother picked up chopsticks and smoked at Zhu Shengnan.

Zhu Shengnan just sat there, motionless, letting her smoke.

Smoke,

Although chopsticks hurt when you smoke them,

But compared with scraping yourself with cigarette butts, scissors and knife,

It's nothing.

Grandma sat there quietly chewing the steamed bread in her mouth,

Grandma at this time,

Like the lady in the dream of Red Mansions,

High above, looking at the fight below.

Breakfast is over,

Mother went upstairs again. She had miscarriages for three times in a row, which made her unable to continue pregnancy, and also made her spirit suffer a great blow. She shut herself at home all day.

And she herself knows,

Her husband,

Still for a boy,

outside,

On other women,

Work hard.

When people watch TV series, they often feel absurd and always feel that this kind of thing cannot happen in reality.

But in fact,

What happens in reality is often more like a TV series than a TV series.

Many lower limits of human beings are more terrible than the madness of artists.

The private teacher came,

day,

It's class.

By evening,

The private teacher left,

Grandma called her

"It's dinner."

Zhu Shengnan came down, and she stood obediently at the door of the small room.

Grandma opened the door and went in with her.

A blade appeared in grandma's hand,

She took off her clothes.

There was another wound on his body, and blood began to flow out.

Grandma knelt on the ground and began to cry, holding her crying.

"Alas, my bitter granddaughter,

God, open your eyes,

My miserable granddaughter alas,

My darling, alas...... "

Grandma often cries,

She felt that by crying, she could move the Bodhisattva and the two people in the animation.

It's like crying at a funeral in the countryside. The sisters in law who were still talking and smiling before went in and immediately cried out "earth shattering". Grandma also inherited this skill.

She said that Bodhisattva has many things. If you don't shout higher, she can't hear clearly.

If she can't hear clearly, she won't talk to you.

Zhu Shengnan looked at his grandmother kneeling with him,

Look at the front again.

Suddenly,

She saw the two people in the picture, which seemed to move. Yes, it moved.

One of them seems to be still smiling at himself.

She shouted immediately

"Grandma, the people in the picture are moving."

She is happy,

Even happy.

Maybe,

When Dad and grandma are done,

Can you get rid of this numb life yourself?

Fantasy is often the most difficult to extinguish and kill.

"Pa!"

Grandma slapped her mouth on Zhu Shengnan's face,

Scolded

"Dead boy, who are you kidding? What nonsense!".