Chapter 67 - Disappointment

I bid Minjae and Lia farewell as they dropped me off at my apartment and I sent a quick text to my little sister asking her to gather our parents for I had an announcement to make and that I was going to call them in a few.

I was nervous to the core but I had to put my big girl panties on for today is the day I was going to do it. 

Exams are to begin on this coming Monday and I wanted to get this off my chest as soon as possible.

The baby was 7 weeks old today and will be 8 after my 22nd birthday the week after this.

I paced the floors of my room as I bit my nails mustering up the courage to pick up the phone and actually call them.

I had no set of plans put forward as to how I would have gone about this so I just decided to wing it and show them a piece of baby clothing along with the ultrasound as soon as the pick up.

I was about to pick up the phone when negative thoughts flooded my mind and I retracted my hand as if the floor was as hot as a fiery furnace.

I started to pace once more feeling as if I were drowning and there was no one around to rescue me.

I felt light headed and my breathing became shallow and I held onto my chest sitting on my bed practicing breathing exercises.

I haven't had an anxiety attack in so long and I thought I had outgrown them but that didn't seem to be the case right now.

I luckily calmed down enough and quickly grabbed my phone dialing the number before I came to my senses. 

I bit my nails even harder as the phone rang and rang and rang.

My heart dropped when I heard the line went dead when my sister didn't pick.

Oh no, I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have said something.

I should have ran away and had the baby's and then show up when  they are eighteen so they wouldn't have a chance in being disappointed because they would be too happy knowing that I was alive and-

The ringing of my phone cut off my ranting and worrying and ran to the phone to see that it was my sister calling.

I took a deep breath as I tried to cheer up my voice and answered the phone, "hey sis! How have you been?"

"Uhh," she said into the phone probably taken aback by my excited tone, "I've been fine and you? You have hardly contacted us this month. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah yeah everything is-everything is fine." I said as I looked over at the baby clothes laid out on my bed and met out a nervous chuckle.

"Right" she said slowly sounding not too convinced by my answer so I decided to avert her question for now.

"Where is mom and dad?"

"They are here standing around like some puppies waiting on their turn to talk to you." she said sighing and I chuckled feeling lighter.

"Well I'm going to switch the call to video because I have something to show you guys but before I do please be open minded and not let your feelings get the best of you and be happy for me and don't scold me for I had already scolded myself, and also remember that next week is my birthday and graduation is also coming up." I baited trying to remind them of my good qualities and to see the bright side of things.

"Girl come on you talk too much" said my sister impatiently.

"That's why she is a lawyer." said my dad beaming and I smiled.

I was doing this degree for them for the farthest they have gotten in education is highschool without completing.

"Okay. Here I go." I said as I let out a nervous and switched the call to video and turned on the back camera showing them the ultrasound first.

"Ouu what is that?" said my dad first sounding excited, "is it a painting? Have you started painting again? Why is it black and white? What is this art form? I need my glasses."

"Its not a painting you." said my mom squinting her eyes, "its a sketch of something. She is not painting again but drawing right Pinky?"

I laughed at the two old  blind people not giving them an hint but brought the phone closer to give them a better view and my sister gasped.

"What what!?" asked my father startled and confused, "what is it?"

"Oh my God!" exclaimed my sister. She finally got it. Took her long enough.

I moved the the phone from the picture over to the clothes and then finally both my parents caught on and they gasped in unison but their gasped has different meanings, "Oh my God!"

"You're pregnant!?" asked my father and sister excited but my mother was the opposite.

"You're pregnant!?" she asked sounding disappointed and my smile faded.

"Honey don't make a fuss about it. She is a grown woman and we both saw this coming didn't we? She always said that she would never have kids and I would beg her to so shouldn't we be happy?" said my father sternly as if scolding her.

"But she is too young! She is still in school!" argued my mother but then my father gave her a reality check.

"So were we and look at us. Four amazing kids and soon four amazing grandkids. If anybody else can do it so can Ceandra. You were 17 she is already in her twenties and is graduating college. If you ask me I would say she is all set and I am glad that got answered my prayer and gave her a child so that she wont be in school forever and let life pass her by."

Tears welled in my eyes as he spoke and I knew I had the best father that I could ever ask for for.

My mother still had not congratulated me on the news as yet and that did hurt but at least I got my father's seal of approval. That was enough for me right now. It is better to be the disappointment of one than the disappointment of two in my book.

Despite my mom being disappointed at me, he couldn't refrain from asking the mom questions like "How far along are you?", "how is your morning sickness?", 

"who is the dad?", "are you eating healthy?", "how will you manage financially?", "are you ready for child's birth?"

I sighed and shook my head smiling as I began to answer them all, "I am seven weeks today, my morning sickness has gotten better since I found foods that work for me, I am eating as healthy as I can I cook as much as I can for myself, I will be looking for a job soon and I will be working even harder for a scholarship and I have been saving and buying little things so that should be fine for a while, and as for child's birth, I am scared to be honest but I think I will be ready when the times comes, besides, I take after you."

My compliment and ending-ment got her smiling and distracted for while until she realized that I didn't answer her about the father.

"Hey! Wait a minute. Don't play smart with me young lady. Who is the daddy."

I sighed as I sat on the edge of my bed thinking of the words to answer her, "I know who the dad is mom. Don't worry."

"Does he know that he is the dad?" she asked and I paused, "mhmmm. Exactly. When are you going to tell him then?"

"Soon?" I replied having every intention to.

"Atalia don't tell me that you have been sleeping with many guys and don't know which is which because I raised you better than that."

I got offended and was about to respond but then my sister did at my expense, "relax mom. She was a virgin and he was her first and they didn't use a condom. She only did it like once."

"And how do you know that?" asked my mom squinting her eyes at my sister and she visibly got nervous, "you two keeping secrets behind ,y back?"

"Relax dear they are adults. They deserve to have secrets. Leave them be."

"Thank you!" I said to my dad as he came to our rescue.

"Well he is a sharp shooter then for it to have been the first time. Then again I guess it only takes once." she shrugged as she walked out of the camera probably to go wrap her head around things.

My father followed her out like the tail he was and left me and my sister alone.

"You bitch!" she snapped and I raised an eyebrow confused, "why didn't you tell me? You waited for almost two months to?"

"I'm sorry I really wanted to but I was just scared." I sighed.

"I know I'm sorry. It must have been so scary for you." she said compassionately and tears welled in my eyes.

"I miss you guys" I said as tears rolled down my eyes and my sister chuckled at me.

"We miss you too. Come home soon okay?"

"Okay" I said before saying "I love you and hung up the phone falling to  my back on my bed smiling wide and feeling light.

One obstacle down many more to go.

One day at a time.

I can do this.