Chapter 103 - Co-parenting

"So umm how does this work?" asked Shiwoo as we buckled the kids in the car.

"Oh it's simple just do it like how I did it with Adrian" I answered for I thought he was asking about the car seat.

"Not the car seat."

I looked at him and he tilted his head towards the kids who were sleeping and I realized, "oh. I don't know. Co parenting I guess?"

He nodded his head as we closed the doors and I went around to the drivers side of the car he was standing with his hands in his pockets as he stared down at his feet.

"So today was umm, unexpected." he said after a while and I  agreed.

"Yeah. Oh uhh don't worry about the kids. They will warm up to you soon" I said reassuringly and he smiled.

"I am really impressed with how verbal they are and how well you have been raising them."

I blushed as his compliment not understanding what was happening between us right now, but I kind of liked it, "uhh thank you. I had some help from my friends and family and Miss Kang who is now resting in peace."

"Oh I'm sorry for you loss." he said as I leaned back onto the car for support.

"No no its fine. Its been about six or so months. We are doing better."

He gave me sad eyes as he took a step closer and for a moment we were just silently staring at each other.

I felt weak in the knees and opened up the car and took a seat not feeling like leaving just yet.

I looked over my seat at the twins who were sound asleep tired from playing and asking Shiwoo all sorts of questions.

They were still not very fond or trusting of him, but progress was made and that was all that mattered.

Minjae and Lia had left us with Heesung earlier and it had been just the four of us for the past two hours.

"So where are you staying? Same apartment?" I asked after a while.

I saw a flash of emotions run across his face and he now looked jittery and nervous and I rose my eyebrow confused, "is everything okay?"

"Tally I-" the sound of his phone ringing cut off his words and I was even more confused.

"Anastasia what is it?" he silently yelled into his phone turning his back to me as he spoke in Russian.

The person on the phone responded to him and I sat there unintentionally eaves dropping on his side of the conversation, "I will be home soon. I am dealing with business. Yes yes kisses to you too. Bye"

He hung up the phone as he turned around facing me once more and I had my resting bitch face on, "so, Anastasia. Is she pretty?"

His mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish and he had told me everything I needed to know without saying a word. 

I chuckled humorless as as I bit my lip, "well it sounds urgent so you better get home to her. I'll be leaving now."

I swung my legs around and was about to close the door when he stopped me, "wait! I can explain."

I laughed at him shaking my head finding this situation oddly funny, "explain? What do you need to explain? We are not together, but you and Anastasia clearly are so please let go of my car door so I can get my kids home and in bed thank you."

"Were not together" he said not letting go of my door and I rolled my eyes.

"I dont care."

"You obviously do care for you are upset with me now. Please don't leave like this." he begged and sighed getting out of the car as I stood in front of him.

"Fine, explain, but make it quick and keep your voice down."

"Thank you" he sighed as he went on, "Anastasia and I are not together, but we kind of are?"

I scoffed about to walk away when he held my hand pulling me closer to him, "just listen. Her family took me in when I left my father's house so she has become kind of like my company."

"You're company?" I asked in disbelief, "and here I thought you have changed, but really you're still the same Shiwoo who lies and plays with feelings and I am still the same idiot to fall for it. Were your tears even real? Is there anything about you even real? You mean to tell me that you left Korea for Russia over two years ago and now you bring back your 'company' whose family is allegedly responsible for this case that I am supposed to be defending you on? Is this some kind of game to you? Do you like playing with me?"

"No. Every thing that I said was true and my tears were real and I do want to be apart of the kids life and yours Tally. Look Anastasia means nothing to me and yes we've hooked up several times, but it meant nothing. You do." he said holding onto my shoulders shaking me with every sentence."

"I don't believe you." I said and I saw his heart breaking through his eyes and he let go of my shoulder nodding his head.

"Of course you don't. I am always the bad guy for you huh Tally? Since were keeping tabs here am I the one who kept my kids a secret from you and had to find out after almost three years and if I hadn't return I probably wouldn't have known? Tell me now who does it fit!?" he silently yelled and I suddenly forgot every thing about anger management and Atalia loose.

"Not this again. Shiwoo if we were to keep tabs we would be opening up ghost of the pasts and believe you mean I do not want to walk through your grave yard. Yes I admit that I was wrong to do that, but what was it that led me to do it huh? Who was it that was playing who all along?"

He ran his hands over his face frustrated, but not holding back either, "for the love of God Atalia, no one was stringing you on. No one forced you to have feelings for me and no one forced me either, but you know what was forced ? Yourself onto me that night.

I scoffed at his audacity my eyes going wide that he had actually brought that up, Oh my God are you kidding me right now? Did you just slut shame me? I don't know why I'm so surprised since it's not the first nor second time.

"I cant with you!" he exploded, "I said I was sorry all those years ago so why cant you just let it go?"

"Let it go? Let it go!? Alright I'll let it go. I fucking hate you from the bottom of my soul and I wish that you didn't come back. You disgust me and I wish that I had never met you. Ever since you came into my life it has been absolute hell. I was doing fine with out you, the kids were doing fine with out you and we don't need you so why don't you just return to Russia with your pretty little Anastasia and pretend that we don't exist like you used to. You seemed to have been living a good life there anyway."

He went silent as I fumed and I instantly regretted what I had just said, but the damage was already done, "Shiwoo look I'm sorry I just. I've just been so stressed for such a log time now and I have so much pent up aggression that I have been suppressing because of anger management classes and-"

"You really hate me that much huh?" he asked softly cutting off my rant, "Drive safe Atalia. I'll be leaving now."

"Shiwoo no wait." he ignored me as he walked away and I let out a frustrated scream.

"Fine be like that then. Run away from an argument like you always do. Fuck you!"

I fumed as my chest heaved heavily as tears streamed down my face.

I wanted to break something, but their was nothing in sight so I grabbed onto my hair pulling it until I heard my baby call out.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" I immediately wiped my tears and fixed my hair as I returned to the car smiling, "yes baby. Mommy is fine."

"Mommy. Is daddy a bad man?" she asked and my heart shattered.

She must have heard all the yelling since we still so close to the car and I feared that I might had traumatized my child.

I quickly returned to the car and got it closing the door behind me as I outstretched my arm to hold my babies hand, "no baby he is just. Sometimes mommies and daddies have a little misunderstanding and it can get loud, but its okay. Daddy is not a bad man. In fact do you want us all to go to the fair tomorrow?"

"Yay!" she exclaimed as I shushed her smiling and he said it softer for her brother was still sleeping.

I buckled my seatbelt and wiped my eyes once more and we were on our way home.

I still felt guilty for saying all those bad things to him, but I was still just so upset and he was just so irritating.