Chapter 206: Spikus, Of Course, I Have Had Sex!

'Other side of the planet?'

[I am not sure how it happened, but you were sucked in and blacked out. Then you were outside this cave, and we were almost eaten! Luckily this angry tripod decided to chase the Paper Snake away, or you would not have woken up!]

'Wait, I came directly here? Are you sure there wasn't some kind of pause or something like that? I was in a tunnel surrounded by streaming light, and I was talking to myself, or something like that.'

[No, I was tracking the others, and they were moving at the same pace. You were talking to yourself? That hardly seems strange; you do that all the time, haha!]

'No, you burnt tool! I was talking to myself, but it was confusing, almost like I was inside my own head. I think I am starting to figure out what happened, but at the same time, I still don't understand why it happened.'

[Well, I think you should put that thought off for a moment and deal with the three-legged grouch. He looks like he is starting to get irritated, hehe!]

Fireden wasn't wrong, and the little girly man looked like he was getting a darker shade of red.

"Hey… thanks, but I need a minute to gather some... strength before I get up. Why... don't you... tell me a bit about yourself? I am new... around here, but I have... met the Nafa," I groaned up to the man.

The mention of the other race made him turn an even darker shade of dirty red. Well, looks like they weren't kidding about not liking each other, but I was curious to know why.

Learning about this might help me understand if what Zero was trying to do was actually helping. I had a feeling that everything might not be as clear-cut as it seemed.

[I have a feeling that you are correct from the attitude this one still seems to have.]

"You do look different, but they are on the other side, where they should stay! How did you get over here? There are more than enough things that would kill me out there! You can't even lift yourself up!" The little man raged, doing some strange eyebrow dance as he did.

He wasn't wrong, but I couldn't change my aspect because I couldn't draw power. It was like something was blocking me from pulling energy into me.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I said as I slowly turned both my hands over.

I started to flex my fingers and toes, but it was not easy, and my body felt bruised and sore.

[Well, you did shoot about fifteen feet in the air with a triple barrel roll, and the position you landed in did not look comfortable. I don't even know how we got here so fast, and there was no mark where we came up.]

That would be why it was so hard to move and why I felt run over like well-used pavement. I just needed to keep working my body, and it would heal faster.

"Oh? Now I actually want to hear it! Living my entire life in a strange world, I have seen my share of oddities! Tell me your story, and I may enlighten you. My name is Tchick," the man said as he backed up to a chair and lifted the strange thin dress.

[Woah, Needle Dick! Put that weapon away!]

The Kualu had what had to be a long skinny penis or tentacle that hung down between his legs. Tchick saw me looking and then grabbed it and performed a perfect helicopter that made my stomach sick.

"Not too bad, hey? My Spikus may not get as much use as it did back in the day, but it's still flexible!" Tchick said as he stretched it out and slapped the girth up and down like he was playing the guitar.

[Oh holy astral entities, what the fuck is he doing?!]

I felt like I was going to puke as my ball tried to hide behind my tonsils. The high-pitched tone was so strange with the choice of wording, but seriously, what the hell was wrong with this guy?

Tchick seemed to notice my extreme discomfort and dropped his "Spikus" and then grinned at me.

"Sorry, I guess with a little thing like that, I might cause a bit of Spikus-envy, so I am sorry for that. Now, tell me how you got here," Tchick said to me and dropped the skirt down.

If I wasn't being crushed from all angles but pressure, I would have laughed out loud, but I was being crushed, so I didn't. Still, seeing how long it was begged the question, why were the women not being satisfied?

[How does the old saying go? It's not about the size of the boat; it's about the motions of the ocean, right?]

'Sure, but having a big thick dick helps.'

[Can't argue there.]

'Wait, have you actually….'

[What? Of course, I have had sex!]

'Really?'

[What? Did you want to watch it?]

'I would be lying if I said I didn't. It just doesn't… I don't know, seems right? How does it work? I mean, for scientific purposes.'

[Go piss up a rope.]

'Hey, don't be so touchy! I just answered your question, right?'

"Did you fall asleep with your eyes open? Or did your brain stop working?" Tchick asked, and I realized that I had just gone quiet on him.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something. Do you know about the rolling wall of stone? I dove into the center of it, then ended up here," I explained, but the little man looked extremely troubled.

Tchick kept putting his hand up to point it at me but then would drop it as his mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water. Even though he had said that nothing would surprise him, Tchick looked like that was not what he expected.

[want more chapters a day? Then vote more with stones and tickets to keep 3 a day to possibly 4, but the voting has been dropping everywhere, so it is back to 2 a day. Pat will still have 3-4 a day]