Chapter 2: Lusteria Ain’t So Bad

Let me paint a fucking picture for you. Four ugly green-skinned bastards of wildly variable heights stood, dressed in outfits spanning leather armors to loincloths, flanking two women. From the description I just gave, you probably assumed we were talking about orcs and goblins, and you’d be right. That was, by all appearances, what they seemed to be. I even noticed tusks emerging from the mouths of the two larger ones.

The women, though, were decidedly not orcs. I wasn’t really sure what they were, but shit… they were hot.

My best guess was that they were sisters because they shared a hell of a lot of features and seemed roughly around the same age—early twenties by their look. They had floppy ears that reminded me of a cow or a sheep, and they were each about a head shorter than me. I was going to go with ‘cow’, because they also had cow-like tails and a pair of yellowish horns poking upwards from the sides of their heads.

Most notably—at least from the perspective of a hot-blooded man like myself, while their figures were primarily petite with thin waists and flat tummies, their breasts were impressive, almost oversized for their frames, though not in a way that defied logic or physics. They were just two petite chicks with huge boobs and juicy butts, probably around five feet tall.

I don’t want to be hyperbolic, but if you asked me to rate their bodies I’d have nothing to offer you but a perfect ten. When I finally got a peek at their faces as one of the orcs was fixing chains to their ankles, I almost gasped at the absurd gorgeousness I beheld, but thankfully I didn’t. That would have been a fucking stupid way to ruin my tactical advantage.

I shook myself out of my momentary distraction and appraised the situation. Four of them... two were only goblin-sized with long, crooked noses. All four were wielding weapons of some kind, and the larger ones had leather armor. I guessed by the way the goblins cowered behind the orcs that the goblins would probably flee if their betters were defeated first.

I looked around for something—anything, really—to use as a weapon. My eyes landed upon a branch that was surprisingly thick and broken off at a comfortable gripping width, making it easy to wield.

What’s the fucking plan, Bucky? I asked myself, shaking, scarcely believing what I was about to do—but there was no choice. Those poor girls were beaten and bruised and dressed in tattered rags, and my stomach pitted in sour disgust to think of what use those orcs would have for them.

Leaning on the element of surprise, I charged forward with the softest footfalls I could manage, bringing the fat branch down upon the back of the head of one of the goblins. With a satisfying crack and a bit of blood, he hit the ground mercifully quick.

I took another swing, this time at one of the orcs, not giving him a chance to fully pivot to face me. My branch collided with him and broke on his skull. He stumbled to his knees, but he wasn’t unconscious.

Suddenly, I was the center of attention, surrounded by three greenskins and wielding a broken stick. I discarded it onto the ground and swallowed hard, bringing up my fists. Yep, my fists against their axes and clubs.

“What are you doing!?” one of the girls shouted out. “Use your Trained Skills!”

I dodged a swipe from the remaining goblin, jumping back as his club sought me with reckless abandon.

“My what-now?”

“He’s gotta be a new hero, Daisy! He doesn’t know about Trained Skills yet!”

I kicked the goblin in the face, sending him backwards several paces, and the two orcs ran at me at once.

“Clasp your hands together, hero!” shouted one of the girls.

I couldn’t immediately follow her instructions because I was far too busy dodging axes trying to cut me down like a piece of timber. Finally, I managed to put some distance between myself and my attackers, and I did as they said, clasping my hands together, steepling my fingers.

A HUD appeared in front of my face, displaying the following information:“Do you see the HUD?” one of the busty beauties shouted at me as I dodged yet another axe-swipe.

“Yes!” I boomed back, my heart racing as I realized the orcs were gaining traction in their assaults. I couldn’t dodge forever. I had to make a move, and soon.

“Select a combat skill and attack!”

Smite looked pretty good to me, as I was too close for Fire Bolt. As I had that thought, my body seemed to sense my intention, and my dominant fist glowed golden with unfamiliar new power. The sensation was like the tingling and crackling of electricity, but more pleasant than that. Well, pleasant for me, anyway.

As one of the orcs lurched toward me, I threw my fist in a powerful haymaker, connecting with his cheek. The side of his head exploded in a mess of viscera, skull fragments, and brain matter as his blood and gore painted the goblin that was, until that moment, considering making its own attack.

I almost fell backward from the display of violence I had just been responsible for—if the two girls I was rescuing were similarly disturbed, their faces sure didn’t show it. One was openly cheering.

“Yay!” she shouted. “Get the other big one!”

I shook off my shock for the moment, going into survival mode. I had to make it out of this encounter alive before I was in a position to process the moral ramifications of what I’d just done.

The remaining orc and goblin eyed each other cautiously before returning their gazes back to me, seemingly making some kind of decision about whether or not it was worth it to keep up their assault. Apparently, their cost-benefit analysis was over, because in unison the two lunged at me, preparing to flail their weapons.

I selected Cleave,  knowing from RPGs I’d played in the past that moves with that name typically targeted more than one foe.

A message shot into my brain: You are not wielding a Cleave-ready weapon. Equip a Cleave-ready weapon and try again.

“Fuck,” I growled, doing a backward somersault to dodge the oncoming swipes. It worked, but just barely, as the tip of the orc’s axe managed to graze my shoulder as I stood back up, drawing blood. The sting of the cold metal on my flesh stirred something inside of me... a taste for battle—a hunger for survival.

Smite worked well before. I had to be smart about this. Now was not the time for further experimentation. I selected Smite again, this time throwing a fist that was destined to collide with the goblin rearing to make its next attack.

It hit, and it made a chunky, goopy mess as the goblin popped like a blood-filled balloon. The final orc took a step back. And then another, studying me. He seemed to be wondering if I’d allow him to leave, and I had half a mind to allow him to do so, until…

“Don’t let him escape!” shouted one of the girls. She had golden brown hair that was tied in a ponytail. “He’ll tell others about us!”

The decision was all but made for me. He turned to run, and I selected Fire Bolt. I extended my palm outward with a thrust, and a softball-sized orb of flame collided with the orc’s back, exploding against him and searing into his flesh as it knocked him face-first onto the grassy forest floor.

I started to walk over to the spot where he lay, but as the orc struggled to stand I was surprised to see the other girl take unprompted action. This one had hair a darker shade of brown that hung past her cheeks, just down to her shoulders. She picked up the axe that the orc had dropped and buried it in the top of his skull, her face vacant of anything resembling remorse.

“Finally,” the girl sighed, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow. And then she turned to me. “A hero!” she announced, dropping the axe and clapping her hands together excitedly. “Daisy, a hero saved us!”

“I was working on a solution,” she grumbled, stepping around the blood spatter to make her way to the other girl.

“Oh, be grateful. We aren’t exactly fighters.”

I laughed. “Could’ve fooled me, way you just handled that axe.”

“He was already down for the count, thanks to you,” she beamed. “I’m May Belle.” She bowed deeply, and then gestured to the other. “This is my twin sister, Daisy.”

They weren’t identical twins, though they shared a hell of a lot in looks. Both had similar figures—that tight, big-titted physique I mentioned earlier, most notably. But their faces were also alike in some ways. Both had cute, delicate features and gentle, oval-shaped faces, but May Belle’s features were a bit softer. Her hair was a deeper, chocolatey hue, compared to her sister’s golden-brown tresses, and her nose was cute and button-like, while her sister’s was ever-so-slightly more pointed. Both of them were perfect beauties the likes of which I'd never seen in person, and I found my stomach stirring with nerves just to make eye contact with them.

“I—uh—” I stammered, trying to find words. “I’m Bucky. I’m not a hero, though.”

Daisy scoffed. “Yeah, because not-heroes go charging into battle basically unarmed to save damsels in distress, right?” Her words were kind of flattering, but she said them with an almost disdainful tone. This chick was... hard to read. I squinted at her, trying to puzzle out a response.

“How did you get here?” May Belle asked me after flashing her sister a dirty look.

I shrugged, looking around at my surroundings helplessly. “Some crazy girl with cat ears dragged me through a purple portal or something and I ended up here.”

“Whoa, purple?!” she shouted. “You really are a hero! A freaking Apex Hero!”

I blinked. “That’s what my HUD says, yeah.”

“How long have you been in Lusteria?”

I looked at the watch on my wrist. “I guess about five minutes.”

“Wow! Welcome, I guess?” she giggled. “Talk about fresh off the boat! You were here for like one minute before you came to our rescue.”

Daisy sighed defeatedly, leaning against a tree. “If that’s true, you really are the real deal.”

I shrugged. “None of this makes any sense. You two sound just like girls from my world. You’re speaking in the same way, with the same colloquialisms and everything. How do I even understand you? How are you speaking my language?”

“L—language?” May Belle asked. “What’s that?”

I squinted, shocked that that was the one term she didn’t know. “You know, like, we’re talking. And we have words. And because I’m from another world, my words should sound different from your words. Language.”

“Sorry, we don’t have that here, I guess,” May Belle shrugged.

“You don’t have language? You mean everyone just understands each other?” I was dumbfounded at the revelation.

“I’ve never met a hero before,” Daisy said, giggling. It was a sweet sound, her voice somewhat deeper than that of her sister’s but still girly. “Are they all so clueless?”

“What about babies? How do you teach babies to speak? Do you teach them words?”

“Some terms, maybe, for specific creatures or magical concepts that we don’t deal with every day. Mostly they just… figure it out,” May Belle shrugged. She sized me up with her eyes, looking me up and down as she bit her lower lip. Her dainty hand brushed her hair back behind her ear. “Can we come with you?”

“I mean, sure,” I said with a shrug, definitely not eager to let these poor girls wander alone. “Where are you headed?”

“Well, we were abducted from our master’s farm,” Daisy said, eyeing me cautiously. “But I don’t want to go back there. It isn’t safe, and Master Graystone is a bitch and a perv.”

“She's the worst," May Belle agreed with a jerky nod and a grimace. "There’s a town to the northeast, or so I've heard. We could go there, maybe see if they need our services?”

I cocked an eyebrow, unable to avoid checking their scantily clad bodies out again at the mention of the word ‘services’. “What kind of services are you referring to?” I asked warily.

May Belle giggled. “Oh no, silly. Not like that. We’re holstaurs!” she said, one hand pointing to her horns, while the other prodded at her breast.

I stared at her blankly. “I am unfamiliar with that term.”

“Umm, we’re also called hucows. We’re monster girls that have cow-like traits but human features,” Daisy explained. “Our race is used for milk.”

I swallowed hard, my eyes flitting down to their massive chests for the briefest of moments. They noticed. Daisy turned sideways to avoid some of my stare, and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment to be caught—but May Belle just squished those titties together, apparently eager to let my eyes have their fill.

Besides the incredibly bosom they both possessed, their legs were also covered with cow fur below the thigh, ending in cloven hooves instead of feet. In the heat of battle, I didn't even notice it, but now I couldn't stop gaping. They really were monster girls.

“We’re always lactating. It’s the gift of our kind. And holstaur milk has magical properties. It can heal wounds quicker, stave off infection, or even provide passive XP boosts if consumed regularly!” May Belle exclaimed proudly. “Do you… want a drink?”

“Holy fucking shit,” I muttered under my breath.

“What the fuck, May Belle!?” Daisy said, crossing in front of her sister just as May Belle was starting to tug down the loose tattered top so that I could inspect her milk-filled mammaries.

“What?” May Belle shrugged. “We have to get milked sooner or later, or it’s going to start hurting. And keeping him strong is just smart. He’s going to be our protector from now on.”

“From now on?” I asked cautiously. "What do you mean?”

Daisy’s head whipped to face me, a look of disgust on her face. “Oh, fucking perfect. Just as I figured. You were already planning to abandon us at the first trading post we came across, weren’t you?”

I threw my hands up to try to demonstrate my clueless innocence. “Whoa, whoa, I literally just got here. I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know what you expect of me… I just need to figure out a way to get home, back to my job.”

Both of them frowned at that. It wasn’t a look of disappointment, but pity. “Oh, honey,” May Belle said. “There is no way back. Portals to Lusteria are exclusively one way.”

I felt my heart throb in my chest as my guts twisted in my stomach. It felt like I was being broken up with by my own world.

“That makes no sense. Then how could that crazy catgirl go to my world to find me? She said she’d searched many worlds for me,” I recalled.

Daisy shook her head. “It’s true, catgirls can planeshift and travel across dimensions. They’re typically used as the emissaries of the gods for that reason, to find heroes and bring them here when needed, or recruit men when populations get low."

“Recruit men?” I asked, narrowing my eyes in confusion as I scratched the top of my head.

“Yeah, human men are needed for us monster girls to reproduce, but they aren’t native to Lusteria,” Daisy explained, blushing slightly at the admission.

“So let me get this straight,” I said. “I’m in a world where I have super powers, and other men are extremely rare. Most of the population is either evil monsters that I can kill without moral consequence, or impossibly hot monster girls like you.”

Both of the girls’ cheeks were red now at my calling them hot. “That’s about  right,” May Belle nodded, licking her lips.

I thumbed my chin, trying to piece it all together. “And I remember that feline freak saying something about my… Umber-something. Does that ring a bell?”

“An Umbercore is the spark in our souls that carries with it our class, stats, and skills. It’s the basis for the logic of our world,” Daisy explained, her arms crossed, mashing those magnificent breasts together. I tried not to notice.

“Alright,” I said, pounding my fist into my other hand and nodding. “I’ve got it.”

The two holstaur twins looked at each other and then back at me. “Got what?” they asked in unison.

“A plan.”

May Belle’s eyes twinkled wide as she waited to receive my words. Daisy tried to look less interested, but I could tell she, too, was all ears.

“We’re going to go to that town you mentioned and starting a farm.”

They blinked at me, a bit confused.

“But you’re an Apex Hero,” Daisy noted with confusion in her voice and doubt on her pretty face.

“Fuck that,” I said with a dismissive wave. “I’m starting a farm, and you two are welcome to join me if you want.”

“I mean—” May Belle cautiously looked over at her sister, “that does sound pretty ideal for us, right?”

Daisy sighed. “We don’t need him, May Belle. We can go off on our own.”

“And end up the milk-slaves of greenskins, demons, or witches? Shut the hell up. You know that isn’t an option.”

“The offer stands,” I said. “You don’t have to decide right now. How long will it take us to reach that village?”

“A day and a half, I guess?” shrugged Daisy.

I nodded. “Then you can decide after we get there. Or, hell, you can stay a while and leave whenever you want. You’re free to do as you please.”

“Okay,” Daisy said at last, her shoulders relaxing. “Can I make a suggestion?”

“Go for it,” I urged her.

She pinched her nose. “Can we start moving? These bodies are starting to stink.”

I looked around, having totally forgotten that we were surrounded by dead orcs and goblins. “Oh, heh. Yeah, let’s do that.”

I started walking toward the treeline when suddenly Daisy’s hand clapped onto my shoulder. “Are you seriously this hopeless?” she asked, gesturing toward the ground. I looked down and realized that there were two axes and two clubs just lying there next to the defeated bodies of my foes.

I walked over and picked up an axe, passing another to Daisy and a club to May Belle. “Just in case,” I said. “Now we’re all armed.”

May Belle threw one arm around my waist and walked by my side. I could feel her enormous breasts mashed against me with my bicep smooshed tightly between the heavenly valley of her cleavage, and I became conscious of the fact that they were leaking ever-so-slightly.

“I’m gonna need you to help me with this eventually, big guy,” she moaned in my ear, just out of earshot of her sister. “Daisy’ll probably be content to milk herself when we’re asleep, but I don’t want to waste a drop.”

I nodded solemnly, biting my lip with quiet consideration. “You know what?” I said to her after a few more paces.

“What?” she asked, fluttering her long eyelashes at me, her floppy cow ears flicking excitedly.

I grinned. “Lusteria might be growing on me.”

She beamed back. “And tonight,” she said, “While Daisy’s asleep… I’ll be grinding on you.”

I swallowed hard as my mind raced to consider every possible meaning those words could have, but I landed on the only interpretation that made any sense. I stared straight ahead, trying hard to make no eye contact like I was walking through Customs at the airport.

Welp. McDonald’s could wait.

virgilknightley