Chapter 29: Let’s Go to Town

The next day I did my damndest to pretend that nothing had happened, but it tore at me to stay silent every moment I didn't speak up about what I'd learned. I was going to tell them everything, but I needed time to process it all. Maybe that was selfish of me, maybe a bit cowardly, but I felt like it was what I had to do--for myself.

Darkmaw selecting me as her mate was a big enough wrench in the gears already, but the information she shared about the Goblin Queen was juicy as fuck. The excruciating part was that that was the bit that I absolutely could not divulge. I don’t know why, but I felt honorbound to keep that secret for her, at least for the time being. If true, it could also be a political destabilizer once it got out, and I wouldn't want that to be my doing. I would have to move forward with that tidbit kept entirely to myself for the time being. It was still useful--game-changing even, but it was something I needed to obscure from others until I had Darkmaw’s consent to do otherwise--and until I was more confident in its veracity.

After all, there was also the distinct possibility that I was being played for a fool. It was a scenario that I couldn’t ignore, but if that were the case, then Darkmaw went to spy school with James Freaking Bond, and took acting classes with Meryl Fucking Streep, because goddamn did she tell a believable lie. No, I felt almost entirely certain that she didn’t speak a single mistruth to me that entire night, and I knew she would likely prove to be an incredible ally going forward, rather than the enemy I saw her for just a night before.

I rose with the sun, and prepared to go out on my morning patrol with Blue. I was surprised to find as I exited the cabin that Aldon had mounted Blackie to do the exact same thing.

“Mornin’,” Aldon said, nodding at me politely. “You doing a flyover of the surrounding lands?”

“Yeah, or I was aiming to,” I said, but then I paused and cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking. “But maybe I’ll let you handle it today.”

He smiled. “Sure thing, might as well pull my weight while I’m here.”

“Nice,” I said, doing a few stretches. “I’ll cook breakfast for everyone, then, and after that I’ll introduce you to all the gals in town. How’s that sound?”

“Like a plan,” he said, and he threw himself astride his black dragon-steed. “Let’s go, boy.”

Blackie took off with Aldon on his back, and I watched with awe as I verified he was every bit as graceful as Blue. They soared off to the north, and I took a minute to watch them go, thinking that that must be how awesome I look when I ascend to the sky on the back of my boy.

Welp, carrots were out of the question this morning because Daisy had donated our entire supply to Bonny for whatever nefarious reasons she had. Thankfully, we had foraged quite a few berries, and our snares were full of small game that I could prepare. In addition, Lullaby, a sheep girl from a farm just outside the opposite end of town, had also given us a dozen chickens, and half of them had lain eggs this morning. It was fixing to be a big breakfast--except that I had a lot of mouths to feed.

In the end our morning meal consisted of berries, beans from the farm, small game meat like rabbits and squirrels, an egg for most people, and an extra portion of meat for the rest. Somewhere we also had bread that I would have Daisy distribute when she was awake because I had no idea where the fuck she kept it.

By the time Aldon returned, just about everyone had awoken, and breakfast was served. The girls made a big deal out of me cooking, which seemed to annoy Aldon to some extent, though he said nothing and politely ate his meal. He seemed to enjoy it.

“Holy shit,” he groaned as he bit down on a chunk of meat. “This is the first thing resembling an actual meal I’ve had in at least two weeks.”

“What’s the last one you’re thinking of?” Winter asked him, enjoying her own breakfast.

“It’s gotta be that inn in the city,” he said, looking over to her. “Right?”

She frowned at him, her kitty cat eyes going ice cold. “Are you sure you’re not forgetting at least one other nice meal you had since then?”

I smirked as I recognized the ‘whoops I fucked up’ expression appearing on Aldon’s scarred face. “Oh, of course!” he said, with a forced enthusiasm that seemed altogether out of character for him. “That amazing meal you made for us the other day!”

“I foraged, hunted, and cooked for hours while you pranced in the prairie killing goblins,” Winter said calmly.

“I didn’t forget!” he said.

“Oh, so it just didn’t register as a meal, then?” she said, irritably blowing a wisp of her white hair from her face.

I almost guffawed when Aldon instinctively looked to me as though for help--the last desperate impulse of a man in trouble when surrounded by unsympathetic women is to turn to the one other man.

But it was Autumn who saved him. Kind of. “Give him a break, sis,” she giggled. “Your cooking is famously terrible.”

And that’s when Aldon saw his chance at salvation. “No it isn’t!” he insisted. “Her cooking is incredible. She can do a lot with just a little.”

Winter’s frown turned to a weak smile, and she was apparently satisfied. “Thank you, baby.”

“I’d like to take you two through town later, if you’re game,” I said to Winter and her pussy-whipped sorcerer. “Introduce you to everyone, you know. Get you situated. We could put you up in the inn.”

Aldon looked over at Winter with a bit of longing. “It might be nice to have some privacy,” he noted.

She giggled, knowing what he was really trying to say. They apparently weren’t entirely comfortable boning in a tent just outside our cabin.

“Great!” I said, slapping the ground excitedly. "It's a plan."

“What are you going to do after that, Bucky-Baby?” May Belle asked, sidling up closer to me.

I thought about as I served May Belle and Daisy a bit more food. “Well, once we get them settled in, I figure they can take the day to rest. There are some things I need to discuss with Etherea. I feel like I haven’t spoken with her in days.”

“That’s a good idea,” May Belle said. “Keep your finger on the pulse of Tater Town.”

“After that I’ll probably head out on patrol in the forest. Though soon we have to talk about that keep,” I said, eyeing Aldon.

“I’m ready when you are.”

“Give me some time. I would like to grind out one more level,” I said. “Maybe two.”

“We can help you with that,” Autumn said. It wasn’t even in a sexy way. “Using us is more efficient than questing, don’t forget.”

“Yeah, but I only have one feat point, and only questing can get me more of those.”

“Killing random monsters won’t help. Clearing the keep will, though,” Autumn said. “If your goal is to get raw XP, then you know where to find us.”

“Holy shit,” Aldon muttered. “Is she talking about what I think she’s talking about?”

I chuckled, feeling my face burn at the awkwardness of the conversation. “Yeah,” I said. “My cultivation method. You know.”

He sighed. “Mine isn’t bad. I just have to cast spells, which I do anyway. But yours is… pretty interesting, I’m not going to lie.”

“Are you jealous?” Winter asked, setting up a trap.

"N-No, of course not,” he said.

“Oh, really? So I didn’t see you staring at that holstaur the whole time you were eating breakfast?” she accused him, gesturing to Daisy.

“What!? No! I--Bucky, I was not--”

“I couldn’t blame you if you were. My girls are hot,” I said, laughing.

“Yuck,” Daisy said, and I suddenly felt bad for Aldon. “Not my type. Humph!” She hid herself behind me so that the goth sorcerer couldn’t see her.

“I wasn’t staring!” he insisted. “I--I am going back to the tent. Tell me when you’re ready to go to town.”

“Sure thing, man. Don’t worry, I believe you,” I grinned sympathetically at the poor bastard. Winter didn’t have to do him dirty like that. I could tell from her face that she also recognized that she was needlessly jealous and embarrassed her man. Daisy was overly harsh, too, but I can understand not wanted to be gawked at by a guy you're not into.

“I… I should go with him,” Winter said, looking downcast all of a sudden.

I felt Daisy snuggle up against my back and heard her voice whisper into my ear as Winter and Aldon slipped into their canvas tent.

“Honey,” she cooed. “Take Bonny with you on patrol today.”

The hairs stood up on the back of my neck at the sound of her sweet voice right in my ear. “Why?” I asked, my own voice suddenly heavy with suspicion.

“I just want you to be safe, honey,” she giggled. “And I think you might have a good time with her today.”

Something was up. “What is your motive? What's going on?”

“Can’t I just be worried about your safety?” she said with mock innocence.

“Yes, but that’s not what this is,” I chuckled. “I saw you with Bonny. Looking at me. Giving her the carrots.”

I could practically feel her grin emanating behind me. “Bonny and I were cooking up an idea to make your excursions with her a bit more interesting. A win-win-win for everyone.”

“Sounds suspicious,” I grunted.

“Don’t you trust me?” she said, her voice lifting to pretend to be offended by my insinuations.

I sighed. “Sure,” I said. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

“Big trouble. But you’ll enjoy every second of it.” And she pecked me on the cheek and stood up. “Let’s get started with the milking, May Belle,” she said. “Come on.”

“Five more minutes,” her twin sister said, hugging me possessively.

Daisy groaned exasperatedly. “Now.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

And they were gone. I looked around. Autumn was still with me, Ivy was out scouting, Gumi was eating pests off the crops in the field, and Rainbow Sprinkle--

“Where is Sprinkle?” I asked, not seeing her.

“Oh,” Autumn said. “I saw her run off toward the town on her own earlier. She was mumbling something about picking up a surprise for ‘Her Bucky.’”

“God Almighty,” I groaned, tensing up with a sudden jolt of worry. My head turned to face Tater Town, half-expecting to see blood rolling down the hill toward us. “That can’t be good. I’d better go deal with that.”

Autumn giggled. “Have some faith in her, Bucky,” she said.

“Have you met Sprinkle?” I said. “I love her to death, but come on. At the very least she'll make people nervous.” I stood up and headed toward Aldon’s tent. “Help me clean up the breakfast stuff,” I said, gesturing to it as I walked away.

“Aww fuck,” she grumbled. “Ivyyy! I need heeelp!”

A series of feminine moans were coming from the tent, and I almost didn’t want to interrupt. Still, it seemed important that I catch up with my unicorn girl sooner rather than later, and bringing Aldon with me to find Sprinkle would also be a great segue into introducing him to the townsfolk. I cleared my throat loudly.

“Come on, man!” his voice shouted out at me over Winter's hot sounds of pleasure.

“My unicorn girl went to town unattended,” I said. “So I’m going to go look for her, and I was thinking it’d make sense if you joined me.”

The sex noises continued, and they apparently just opted to ignore me. Soon there was the percussive slapping sound of hip colliding with hip, and I suddenly had the profound sense that I absolutely deserved this, having been so sexually blessed since I arrived in Lusteria. It felt right somehow to be on the outside of a sexual encounter for once.

“Fair enough,” I said, and I turned on my heels and headed toward the hilltop settlement. I had gotten halfway up the hill when I heard Aldon’s footfalls behind me.

“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” he muttered as he appeared at my side.

“Sorry,” I said, smirking. “Where’s Winter?”

“She needs some time,” he grinned.

“Nice.”

We strolled into Tater Town, and I got to play tour guide for my very first time ever since arriving in Lusteria. “Welcome, Aldon Murphy, to Tater Town, a quaint and admittedly primitive iron age village with a population of twenty-five monster girls, seven of which are children--” I looked at him with a severe expression, “--none of them mine.”

“Or so you assume,” he smirked.

“Well the youngest kid is twelve so unless my future powers include wacky time traveling shenanigans--”

“Don’t rule it out,” Aldon grimaced. “Your mojo is that potent from what I’ve seen.”

I put my hand on his shoulder and stopped him in his tracks. The other hand rested upon my heart, and my eyes looked into his to display the level to which he’d flattered me. “Thank you, my guy.”

After shaking off the awkwardness, he asked his first question. “Any breeders in town?”

“Jacob Mercer was the sole breeder here for the last fifteen years,” I said. “There were others around for short stints before that. Most of the kids in town are his. There was a lesser hero a while back who had a kid with Scalia, a snake-lamia who runs the local inn and tavern,” I explained. “I gather he basically got chased out of town for attempting to assault one of Mercer’s marked girls, a blood golem named Karma.”

“Sounds like a busy little town,” he remarked.

I gestured to each house that was relevant as I talked about it. “Etherea is sort of like the mayor here. She's a moon elf who founded Tater Town decades ago.”

He studied her cottage and nodded. “Go on.”

“And Bonny is our blacksmith. She’s a lagoform, or bunny girl. She’s, like, crazy hot.”

“I met her,” Aldon said. “And yeah, she is. Her thighs are something else.”

“That waist?” I gushed, gesticulating dramatically, tracing her shape in the air, “With those hips?”

“You must have hit it by now,” he remarked. “Go on. How was it?”

“Funnily enough, I have not,” I revealed. “Though it’s not for lack of her trying.”

He looked at me with an expression that was not unlike disgust. “Then why are you holding back?”

“She’s extremely fertile,” I said, my eyes glazing over in icy hot fear.

He groaned, closing his eyes. “Say no more. She’s also got that little buck tooth.”

“I’m actually kinda into that,” I admitted.

“Ditto,” he nodded, but then he looked at me fretfully. “Don’t tell Winter I said that."

I reassured him with an ‘okay sign’ and got back to my task. “Over there, in the house behind Bonny’s, you’ll find Vale, the local tanner, leatherworker, and clothier, and she lives with her daughter Heather. Heather and Vale lost Heather’s sister recently, the same day I came into town. Her name was Silver Moon.”

“How did she die?” he asked me calmly, watching my face twist as I tried to broach the topic with all the honesty and respect it deserved. He could tell it was a sore spot, I was sure.

“Darkmaw’s wolves,” I said, but I suddenly felt really dissatisfied to admit it. There was more to the story, I'd learned, but I couldn’t explain it easily. “Darkmaw was trying to call them back, but they got to Moon before she arrived.”

“Darkmaw was trying to call them back?” he repeated in puzzlement. “That seems odd.”

“I know,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, if that’s okay.”

He looked at me carefully. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed with scrutiny, but he nodded. “Sure,” he said, though there was some hesitation. “But I’d like to hear more when you’re ready.”

I ignored that. “Over there you have a communal house with several different monster girls that I don’t personally know all that well, but one of them is named Misty, and she's a dog girl. She’s cute, basically a golden retriever. Not sure if you’re familiar with that breed where you’re from, but the only reason I know her is she always tries to get me to play fetch with her whenever she catches me in town.”

“That’s hilarious,” he said, chuckling, his hands in his pants pockets as we slowly ambled through down the one street of the quaint little hamlet. “What about that house over there?” He pointed to a house behind Etherea’s. I sighed. “That was Mercer’s house. Latest proposal on what to do with it is to make it a daycare once the, uh, breeding program starts.” I blushed. Hard.

“The what?” he said. “Run that one by me again, Bucky.”

“They want me to start a breeding program. As in, impregnating most of the women in town.”

“You fucking rascal,” he laughed raucously. “You incorrigible son of a bitch.”

I shrugged and threw my hands up as though in defeat. “You got me.”

There was one more house in town that deserved to be mentioned. “And that house, on the edge of the hill next to Scalia’s place,” I said. “That’s Zelda’s place. The griffin girl. I haven’t met her. She and her followers haven’t been in town since I got here, but I’ve heard whispers about her. Supposed to be a really powerful witch or something, I don’t know.”

“The town witch,” he muttered. “Interesting.”

I nodded. “Like I said, I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet, but she’s apparently a tough nut to crack because most people speak about her very hesitantly.”

“Probably afraid that she knows when someone says her name,” he reasoned, staring at the somewhat dilapidated house. “It’s a common superstition about magic users in most worlds that have them.”

“Is it based in truth?”

“Definitely,” he said with an affirmative nod. “But it’d be a powerful witch indeed that had a power like that set to ‘always on.’”

I’d figured as much. “Anyway, that’s basically it. Let’s take you to--OH MY GOD!”

Sprinkle had appeared in front of Bonny’s home, walking out of her front door, wearing a radiantly iridescent chainmail bikini and long, savage-looking metal gauntlets on her hand. Each gauntlet had claws extending about five inches from the fingertip.

“My Bucky!” she said, jumping up excitedly.

“Oh, I heard her,” Aldon said, perking up. “Is anyone dead?”

“Not yet,” I mumbled as Rainbow Sprinkle bounded toward me, hopping giddily like the bunny whose home she’d just exited.

“My Bucky! I got you a gift!” she cooed and flashed her claws in my face. “Now I can join you and Bonny in the forest more often! We can slay together! Isn’t it so wondrous and magical?”

I laughed. “The armor doesn’t cover much,” I noted, “But it looks great."

“Etherea enchanted it. It’s very powerful and protects everything from my head to my toes. I tested it myself!” I winced as I wondered what kind of tests she'd conducted, but I doubted they were half-hearted, knowing her.

“What’s going on now?” Aldon grumbled. “Something about armor?”

“Let’s get you back to the farm, sweety,” I said, throwing my arm around her.

“I can’t wait to dig these claws into your chest, My Bucky,” she giggled. “It’ll be sooo lovely… But wait! Your armor is ready, too!”

I blinked. “It is?”

She nodded eagerly, her glowing pink eyes gone wide. “Yes! Come and see.”

I looked at Aldon. “Change of plans. I’m getting suited up. You wanna come along?”

He smiled. “I’ll introduce myself to the locals, you go right ahead.”

I beamed at him, suddenly too excited for my own good. “Sounds good. See you at the inn tonight? Need me to spot you any money for a room?”

He refused, throwing up his palms and waving them fervently. “We’ve got it, no worries. Thank you, though.”

“Alright, catch you later,” I said, tossing a thumbs-up. And then I set my sights on Sprinkle, who was looking remarkably sexy in her new attire. I eyed her up and down and couldn’t help but get even more excited for what was waiting for me in Bonny’s smithy. “Lead the way, Sprink,” I grinned.

“Yes, my Bucky! You’re going to be overcome with joy!”

She was not wrong.