Chapter 50: Waking Up

I was only faintly aware of the passage of time. At first, my mind was just a series of whispers, clinging to something ethereal. All I saw for a near endless stretch of time was alternating infinite screens of white, red, and gray--and sometimes nothing at all, not even black, as though my sense of sight had entirely failed.

I thought I was dead, floating in nothingness. I thought this was eternity. I wasn't lucid enough to lament it, to torment myself over its monochromatic monotony. All I could do was let the vapidity of space and time wash over me.

But eventually I became faintly aware of pain--and of the fact that I was sleeping. It's a weird thing to describe, a sensation that I couldn't quite nail down with words or expressions. Again, I was only weakly aware of all of this.

Time was a mystery. Had it been a day? A year? An eternity? Was I floating in space, or laid out on a slab? Was I in a box in the ground? Had I been burned to a crisp, my consciousness withering away in the ether?

But I wasn't withering. That much was clear. No, I was getting stronger. From time to time I even felt tingles where my arms and legs should be--and intense, though mercifully brief, lances of pain surging in my chest. I was... alive?

But that didn't seem right. It didn't seem possible. Last I remembered, Keenfury carved me open like a Christmas ham, my entrails spilling on the floor of his keep in front of my friends. I could see my own heart beating in my chest.

Moments like this--of plain, unbridled lucidity--had become more and more common. I started guessing at how long I'd been unconscious. That must be it. I was unconscious. I started noticing patterns. I felt my eyes strain against the light for a few hours a day. I was lying, perhaps, by a window. I couldn't see anything, but I could sense the light, feel it scorching my eyes. And then, hours later, it grew dark again. And it stayed dark for long, long stretches of time.

My world was that fluctuation of light and dark for what must have been weeks. I thanked my lucky-fucky stars that I wasn't quite conscious enough to process time for the agonizing stretch of emptiness that it was.

But then... I was. I was far more lucid now, and I even heard voices from time to time. Young, happy, giggly voices. Sad, womanly voices. Even Aldon's voice--I was sure of it. He had visited me many times, talking to me though I couldn't understand what he was saying. He spoke to me openly, like I used to talk to my dog when I was a kid--fully aware that my pup didn't know what I was saying, but satisfied that she took comfort in hearing my voice. I did take comfort in hearing his. It broke up the monotony. The void.

The pain grew, too, though. At first I fucking hated that, as you'd expect, but I grew to enjoy it. I tried to guess at my condition more and more. I became aware of daily bandage changes, the application of ointments, and probably hundreds of kisses peppered on my wounds and my face each day. I wasn't sure how sanitary kissing wounds was, but I quite literally wasn't in any condition or position to complain.

The voices became clearer, my comprehension of their touch more nuanced, as time when on. I could feel the cool, soft hands and long fingers of Daisy and May Belle come to change my bandages early in the morning every day as the light came back--dawn. They fed me milk, too--not by the teat, though, but carefully down my throat with a bottle. I automatically swallowed. Apparently I had been doing that for some time. Was that normal? I suppose they didn't have IVs. How did they get me to swallow?

Not long after they left, every morning Autumn and Winter would come. Sometimes Aldon would be with them. I felt Autumn's claws brush my hair and often sensed her tears on my face. Winter was always there to console her. One morning I could make out parts of their speech clearly.

"I don't know if he's ever going to wake up, Winnie," my catgirl sobbed.

"Are you kidding?" That was Aldon. "He's a million times better than--"

His voice faded away after that.

In the afternoon, Ivy and Etherea would come with Sprinkle. They'd change my bandages again, and the three of them would stay for hours, singing Elven lullabies to me. That was the highlight of my day. Hearing that, and feeling the unicorn girl lovingly stroke my cheek and run her fingers through my hair again and again--it was the strongest argument I had so far that I perhaps had died and gone to heaven.

But after a while, even that would come to an end. Other visitors would come in the evenings--other women of the town, Bonny commonly among them, and some curious and quiet gasping girly voices. I couldn't quite guess at who they were. They sounded too young by a couple decades to be the women in town that I knew, but my brain was still a haze and I didn't think on it all that much.

Each night, Darkmaw came. I can't even explain how I knew it, but I knew it. She didn't touch me. I'm not even sure she entered through the window, but I felt her watching me with fierce longing and passion. It confused me as to how I could be so sure of such a thing, but I unflinchingly was.

Each day went on like that more or less on repeat. I lost track of time, but if I had to guess, it had been a month, maybe as much as two. It was impossible to be sure, because by the time I realized I wasn't dead, weeks might have passed.

The pain only got worse, though, even as the women cooed happily each day over how much my condition improved. I supposed that meant that my senses were returning more fully. I tried to move a few times, to grasp May Belle's hand when she touched mine. My May Belle. I wanted nothing more than to be able to open my eyes and see her again, to tell her I was fine and I could hear her and smell her and taste her milk on my tongue when she fed me. I wanted my girls to know that I was with them, and I tried and tried to force myself to move, but to no avail.

Until one day. Until dawn broke, and it was maybe just a few minutes before Daisy and May Belle would come to feed me and check my bandages again. So far, all was quiet. The pink of a sunrise blearily pressed upon my closed eyelids.

I heard the soft sounds of tiny footfalls on the ground beside me--my bed, I had decided. I was probably in Etherea's cottage. And there was some sort of tiny mischievous invader afoot.

A goblin? An imp? One of those gremlins I killed in the forest with Bonny? Was there an assassination attempt underway?

I strained, trying to move, but I couldn't. A little, naughty giggle sounded in the cottage air as small hands grabbed hold of my arm, and the creature hoisted itself up onto the bed beside me.

I felt my heartbeat accelerate. The light-footed thing made its way onto my chest, and pain surged through my whole body as I felt the mysterious attacker sit on top of my bandages, and then the giggling voice went quiet. And then nothing happened.

I tried to move. I felt her there, sitting on my chest like a sleep paralysis demon, shifting occasionally, her miniature feet readjusting until she'd changed positions. The creature--female, for sure, from the sound, was lying atop me now. And did I hear... tiny snores?

A tangle of the creature's hair fell over my face, falling over my nose. It tickled. Combined with the pain I felt in my chest from my visitor lying directly on top of my wounds, my body finally had an overload of stimuli and I was about to respond.

I sneezed. Following the sneeze, my eyes fluttered open and the world slowly, blurrily came into view.

An orange, ruddy mess of fragrant hair was spilling over my face, and I blew it aside, squinting in pain as my eyes slowly focused on the snoring intruder.

It was... a little girl? With bunny ears?

Sensing my movement, she stirred and awoke looking at me with enormous green eyes.

"Daddy?" she said.

I gibbered like an idiot, unable to process what had just unfolded. "I... I--"

"Carrotina!" That was Bonny, dashing into the room. "How many times have I told you not to bother--Mr. Drake! Are you awake?!"

"Bonny," I grunted, wiping my eyes. The little bunny girl suddenly jumped up on her feet and began hopping up and down on my chest.

"I woke up daddy!" she shouted with the glee only a child a could possess. "Daddy's awake!"

I groaned in pain, catching her on her third bounce on my horrendous wounds and holding her suspended in the air above my bandaged torso that she had been treating like a trampoline. Her little legs kept kicking as though she were still trying to jump.

A freckly feminine face, enormous green eyes, long orange hair that went down to her butt in a ponytail that reminded me of Daisy's, and a loincloth and strap over her chest that obviously begged me to think of Bonny's attire--this kid was cute as a button. She had to be mine, if she was Bonny's kid, but she looked to be maybe five years old already.

"Holy f--" I caught myself about to swear in front of the munchkin. "Holy Gosh," I settled on. "Bonny--am I... is this really my kid?"

She responded with a sob. "Mr. Drake!"

"If this is my kid, I think we're past you calling me 'Mr. Drake,'" I said without a hint of a smile, my eyes so heavy and tired but unable to close at the strange and unexpected sight of this adorable little girl. "How long have I been out?"

"Three months!" she shouted. "I need to--I need to tell the others!" She didn't, though. She ran over to me and grabbed her daughter from my clutches and chided her once more. "Don't sneak in here! Daddy is hurt! You just harmed him by jumping on his chest!"

Carrotina looked at me with her ridiculously cute eyes, her lip pouting. "I'm sorry, daddy," she offered sincerely.

"She's been sneaking in here constantly to see you," Bonny said through a sigh.

"How can she be three months old?" I asked in shock. "She looks like a five-year-old!"

Bonny gave me a weird look. "She seems three months old to me. Why, what were you expecting?"

"I have a daughter," I said, my hand resting on my bandages. My chest ached badly, but at the moment that was at the back of my mind. I had a daughter. The world was brighter and more colorful than ever before--and more dangerous. The stakes had never been higher.

"You have seven daughters," Bonny grinned. "With me. May Belle and Daisy are due soon, though!"

"Holy Gosh," I said again, now with a sense of doom and gloom. "I'm... going back to sleep."

"Should I get the others?" Bonny asked. "I'm afraid if you go back to sleep you won't wake up for another two months."

"And then she'll have a driver's license," I grunted. The joke went over everyone else's head.

"I'm staying with daddy," Carrotina whined, her arms outstretched toward me. Her little feet kicked in the air as Bonny held her suspended in front of her.

"No, you--"

"Let her stay," I said weakly. "The kids can come any time. But," I rubbed my chest, "keep them away from the bandages, please."

Bonny bit her lip and nodded, relinquishing Carrotina into my arms. I  held her to my side. I made her. It was a weird thought. I had seven kids, all of them probably as amazing, adorable, and weirdly eloquent as this one. I teared up as I realized I missed their births. I couldn't afford to miss another milestone.

She hugged me and immediately fell asleep in my arms. For a long time Bonny just stood there watching, the goofiest smile I'd ever seen on her face. "You okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "There was a period of time that I thought--I thought maybe she wouldn't ever know you."

I nodded. "I still can't believe I'm alive. I have a lot of questions."

"The Goblin Queen is the answer to most of the questions you're going to ask," she said.

"How did I heal from those obviously mortal wounds?"

"The Goblin Queen. And the holstaurs' milk."

"Who has been protecting the town while I've been asleep?"

"Aldon. But the Goblin Queen has constructed a new fortress where the cabin used to be."

"What?"

"She moved here. It's been... awkward. But good."

I grunted. "Sounds like I missed a lot," I said weakly.

"I'm so happy you're awake," Bonny gushed one last time. "I'll go get the others!"

I nodded. It sounded like a lot had happened while I was half-dead. I pushed myself onto my side, pulling in Carrotina against me even tighter. I would get up to speed and learn everything I could about what had happened in my absence. I would plan out the next step of my adventure, try to make contact with the other Apex Heroes, and work out away to take down the Demon Queen. I would help Darkmaw and the Goblin Queen rebuild their kingdom, perhaps with Tater Town as a new base of operations, in a more openly peaceful image. I would take care of the needs of all of my girls, lovers and daughters alike. I would do all of this--but first, I would hug my daughter for the first time as she slept in my arms.