Chapter 69: Nice.

virgilknightley

Darkmaw and I crept into an entrance of the woods that I’d never taken before. “There is a cavern here,” she said as our soft footfalls brushed against the sounds of night. Owls hooted, wood elves sang in the distance, and wolves, of course, howled. Those were probably Darkmaw’s wolves, ever near, even if they didn’t walk with us at the present moment.

“I don’t think I’ve ever delved into any caverns in Lusteria,” I said, considering it. I’d been here for months and it seemed a strange admission to have to make—but then again I hadn’t really been in a lot of caverns back in my homeworld, either. Never really came up.

“You’re missing out,” she said, humming excitedly as she slashed through the brush in the thicket before us. Her claws made quick work of the emerald green foliage that had grown thick in this part of the woods. “They are an excellent place to hunt.”

“What kinds of monsters live in caves?” I asked her.

She smirked, her tanned skin looking even darker under only the light of a gibbous moon that narrowly peeked through the forest canopy to find us. “All sorts,” she said. “Bagors, Derrincules, Trow—you have no idea what any of these are, do you?” she said, noticing the growing look of perplexion on my face.

“You are correct,” I said. “Are they killable?”

“Very,” she said, beaming at me.

“Then call me Monopoly, cuz I’m game,” I said.

She leaned forward and sniffed me, her eyes filled with suspicion. “I do not understand your words.”

We trudged and trailed through the woods until we found the jagged brown mouth of the cavern, though it was almost blue-gray under the lunar light. Darkmaw allowed me to enter first, so I summoned my lance and walked into the darkness. I allowed the lance’s pole to coil inward, shrinking back until it was more like the hilt of a sword, able to be wielded in one hand. Next, I grabbed a stick off of the ground and blew a tulip of fire upon it, improvising a torch—though it wouldn’t last long.

“That won’t do you much good down there,” she said. “It’ll burn out in a few minutes.”

“The thought already occurred to me,” I admitted, “but I have a suspicion I’d like to test.”

Darkmaw leaned on one hip, her black leather armor making a sound against the straining of her hip, it was so tight on her body. She watched in captive fascination as I raised a finger to the flame on my torch.

“Sexy system voice,” I said. “You there?”

“I am always available to answer your system queries,” she called back.

“Nice,” I grunted. “Hang tight Darkmaw, I’m trying something.”

Darkmaw said nothing.

“Okay, first of all, Sexy System Voice, from now on call me Big Papa, if you don’t mind. And—”

Now Darkmaw reacted, burning her face in her furry hand.

“—And tell me, I’ve used my Dragoner Quality a bit. Have I unlocked any more information?”

“Yes, Big Papa—”

“Fuckin’ nice,” I grunted.

“—the Dragoner Quality is a rare quality. 0.02% of all heroes, elves, or monster girls with access to the secondary system have possessed this quality before you,” she said. “This quality indicates a unique connection to dragons. As such, you will gradually be able to enhance this power to gain more dragon-like abilities. Combined with your Shifter feat, it is likely that you may even be able to one day transform into a dragon.”

“That’s badass, Sexy System Voice, but I noticed that the one dragon I met before had some pretty intense control of his breath weapon. Would I be able to control my flames, for instance, once they’re igniting something that I’m holding? Keep the flames in one spot?”

She paused. “You can try, Big Papa.”

I grinned, focusing on the Dragoner Quality that dwelt inside me, a part of me. I drew the power out, focusing on my glowing fire as it started to consume the torch—refocusing it at the tip. It burned there without consuming, just existing, creating light for us that would last as long as I was able to maintain it.

“Impressive, Apex Hero,” Darkmaw said. “But I can see in the dark.”

“I kinda can, too,” I admitted. “At least a little bit. But I played D&D in high school and it just feels right, y’know?”

“If you say so,” she said, gesturing to the darkness ahead.

I walked deeper into the cavern, my feet crunching over broken stone. The walls and ceiling were smooth, not a pebble to be found, but the floor was littered with dusky rocks of every shape and size, some of them huge, most of them small. The smell of earth and dust filled my nostrils, and the air was cool, yet damp. I could hear water dripping somewhere in the distance.

I kept walking, keeping my senses open. I could hear my companion sniffing for hints of the scents of beast every few steps. We plunged downward into ever blackening darkness, so thick and all-encompassing that even my dragon-flame torch wasn't doing a whole lot to help. I walked forward, kicking a rock, listening to it fall into a chasm just a few feet in front of me. I wasn't surprised--I sensed it coming.

"Careful here," I grunted to Darkmaw, who nodded her agreement, ever on guard.

"Something is close," she said. "I can smell it."

And then we could hear it. A deep, booming roar thundered throughout the cavern. As I whipped around, I became aware of a pair of two smoldering eyes that glowed yellow just beyond the radius of my torchlight. They seemed to be floating in midair, suspended between the roof and the floor of the cavern, but they belonged to something.

The eyes were followed by a huge head. It had to be at least three feet across, its teeth and fangs glistening as it roared again. Its face was a mess of fur and scales, It opened its fanged mouth, roaring at us. I raised the dragon-flame torch into the air.

"It's a cave warden," Darkmaw grunted. "They're deadly beasts, part bear, part crocodile, part scorpion, and they live in total darkness. Be ready, Apex Hero!" she shouted.

The monstrosity lunged toward her first, but she was prepared. She jumped up on the creature's head, landing on its snout. With a powerful swipe of her clawed hand, she slashed it, drawing gouts of blood that looked as orange as everything in the torchlight. The beast bellowed again, but she wasn't finished.

I leapt forward, inserting myself into the fight, but I almost paused when I saw it plainly. It was an ugly thing--a marriage of different animals that weren't meant to merge. As it battled against Darkmaw, its tail sought me, its stinger reaching for my throat. I batted it away with a decisive swipe of my blade, but it was fast, faster than I thought it would be. It recovered fast, making a second attack that once again failed to make contact. I dodged, weaved, ducked, and bent out of the way, all while attempting to make my own attacks, parrying its tail, and slashing at the beast as I moved.

Darkmaw was faring better with the upper half of its body. She slashed and carved into it again and again until it was crying out, and the tail decided to focus on her--it was as though the thing had a mind of its own. As it targeted her I saw more clearly that it did, at the very least, have eyes of its own, which explained how it was able to do battle with both of us at the same time.

As its tail reared back, poised to impale Darkmaw with its venomous stinger, I fired up my Workhorse Quality. "Sexy System Voice, I need a power boost!" My muscles swelled to twice their normal size, and I brought my lance down upon the accursed creature with fury and finality. Its tail separated from its body, thudding against the floor and spilling ichor into the cracked earth.

The creature tried to run, but Darkmaw punished its cowardice by slashing at its legs. The beast screamed, a hideous noise that echoed through the cavern.

I looked at my companion. She was panting and bleeding. Her fur was matted with gore and blood--admittedly most of it was not hers.

The creature slumped to the floor and tried to pull itself away on its forepaws. Darkmaw firmly planted her heel in the creature's back, forcing its face against the ground. With a nod from my companion, I lowered my blade in a guillotine strike, decapitating the monster. A powerful monster soul entered my blade, and I felt it assimilate into my body.

"Let me lick your wounds," Darkmaw said, clearly a bit aroused by the heat of battle. Before I could protest about the dead monster on the ground next to us, her tongue was down my throat, and my hand was on her tits.

"I guess we're doing this again," I growled.

After a night of monster slaying and making out, we slowly made our back to Tater Town and the keep. Another day was ending, and another would soon begin. Tomorrow would be the day that I started problem-solving—and I had a lot of problems to solve.