Chapter 170 - Vol. 3 - 43

Ash

As the two continued to run, they could hear the growls of demons trailing behind them. It was hard not to trip in the snow, but apparently harder for the monsters themselves, as Ash saw a few of them falling out of the corners of her eyes. Each one was around level 30, to level 40, all equipped with the Niven's Blessing buff. Fighting this many of them was simply not an option. 

Where do we go? Where do we go!? 

Ash could see nothing but sheets of white under a violet sky for a while, until finally, she saw a building in the distance. As she got closer, she started to recognize it as a broken-down church. 

"There!" Ash yelled and Kaori nodded next to her. Ash's hand was still firmly gripping her wrist, pretty much dragging her along to the ruined building. As they reached it, with the demons hot on their trail, Ash walked in through the front door and as Kaori followed her in, she began barricading it with one wooden bench after another. 

"W-Will that hold....?" Kaori started to ask as the demons reached the building and began pounding on the objects Ash had placed. She grabbed Kaori by her wrist again and put her index finger in front of her mouth, indicating she wanted the blonde to remain silent. She found a bedroom to the right. Here, there was a large closet of sorts nearby big enough to hold the two of them and she opened it up and pulled Kaori in with her. 

There was so much dust in it that Kaori immediately sneezed but Ash put her hand over her mouth, trying to keep her from doing that. As soon as they went inside, Ash heard the obstacles she'd placed be destroyed. So, she pressed just a little bit harder on Kaori's lips to keep them shut, their eyes looking straight into each other while the demons ran into the building. 

Ash took slow, steady breaths in hopes that the demons wouldn't catch them. Kaori's breathing was faster, but just as low. As cold as it was, Ash could see some sweat rolling down Kaori's face. She heard something snarl in the room and figured a demon had just come in, maybe smelling their scent. 

At this point, the gods were nothing special to Ash, but even so, she found herself praying that it wouldn't check this closet. 

Footsteps paced all throughout the room, and eventually, the snarling disappeared, and along with it, the demons could not be heard anymore. 

Ash nodded at Kaori and slowly opened the closet's door, peeking out to see if there were any demons desperate to claw her face off. There weren't any. She walked out of this small bedroom and looked out into the church, and then she peeked out past the broken-down obstacles she'd placed. The demons had left. 

As she returned to the room, Ash breathed a sigh of relief while Kaori immediately started sneezing. The half-demon patted the dust off of herself before turning towards Kaori. 

"Kaori... What the hell is going on with you?" 

"I-I'm fine," Kaori quickly replied with a dry throat, as maybe some of the dust had gotten in her mouth. 

"No, you sure as shit aren't!" Ash half-yelled and instantly, she caught herself when Kaori flinched. That reaction hurt, but whatever was going on with Kaori needed to be talked about now, before they even took another step through this mirror realm. 

Kaori looked away, pressing her back against the wall next to the closet. For a while, they remained in silence. 

"... I just want to know what's bothering you," Ash added, with a far softer tone. "I... I want to help." 

"..." Kaori looked up at her, some resignation in her eyes. "I don't think you can help," she replied, before sliding down and sitting on the floor. Ash went to sit down next to her, as Kaori curled her knees up to her chest. 

"Try me," Ash replied. "Is it really that bad?" 

"... Mhm," Kaori nodded. Ash waited. Kaori's lips parted and Ash anticipated hearing what she had to say. Then, she started tearing up. Ash continued to wait, and Kaori's metallic hand clenched into a fist. She opened her mouth to speak, but she choked up and suddenly, tears started falling. 

And, once they did, they didn't stop for some time. Ash had no idea what was going on. Kaori had simply started sobbing out of nowhere before Ash could get any answers from her. 

... Maybe those answers can wait a few more seconds though,  Ash thought as she shifted a little closer to Kaori and tried to pull her into a hug. The blonde's body was trembling as she leaned into Ash, her tears now falling on Ash's lap. 

"D-Don't you ever think about it?" Kaori asked. 

"Huh?" 

"The stuff we've seen..." Kaori muttered. "The soldiers getting torn in half, getting eaten. Heroes dying or getting maimed right in front of us. So much blood covering the streets. Back at Sapphire, did you look at the stone after the fight? There was so much blood, from both people and demons that it almost covered the snow. Then there's the stuff that happened that I still haven't been able to forget about. Varcon, and everything he did. Getting my arm cut off at Pearl. I hope you never get to know what that feels like, having something just taken off of your body like that," Kaori sniffled. "Even though so much has happened, I haven't... I mean, I thought I'd get used to it, and, I guess in a way I have... I'm not as sad when I see dead bodies anymore but... It's still so scary. The worst part though," Kaori pushed herself away from Ash for a second so that she could look the half-demon in the eyes. "Now, I'm afraid that something like that will happen to you or Keiko. The thought of that has kept me up so many nights. That you could get swallowed whole by a Gluttony demon, that Keiko could be ripped apart by some Wrath demon, I... If I ever see something like that happen, Ash," Kaori shook her head, "I wouldn't be able to handle it. I wouldn't be able to go on after that." 

...

Ash heard all of this and was stunned. Admittedly, the answer to Kaori's question was "no". Ash never thought about the soldiers who died, the people who'd met terrible ends at the hands of their enemies, and of course, she had a reason for that. That being that outside of her group, Ash, Keiko, and Satsuhiro's family, not many other people had ever shown her much in the form of empathy. So, she simply didn't have much to spare. 

Were those sights gross? The ones that Kaori had described, the soldiers being ripped in pieces and eaten right in front of them. Yes, they were. But did they inflict some deep terror into Ash? Not at all. 

However, one thing had been made clear to Ash that, really, she should have kept in her mind but it had slipped out at some point, and that was that Kaori was very much a people-person. She was probably the kindest soul Ash had met. Someone like that, Ash realized now, feeling absolutely stupid that it took her this long to understand, would certainly have their heart broken by the sights this war provided. 

Finally, there was that part at the end. The part about how Kaori wouldn't be able to bear any of this happening to her or Keiko. Ash had no idea what to do with that information, but she now understood that to be something Kaori was fearing.

Even then though, despite the fact that Ash now understood what was bothering Kaori, she had no answers for her. She tried to find some as she sat next to her, the blonde wiping away her tears as she waited for Ash to speak, but she couldn't come up with anything. 

So, she didn't force herself to. Instead, she stood up and extended a hand towards Kaori. Kaori took it and stood up as well, looking back at her, a bit confused. 

Then, as awkward of a hugger as Ash was, she did her best to give Kaori the warmest embrace she could. 

"... Nothing is going to happen to us," Ash told her, taking a deep breath. "Let's just fight these things like we usually do, finish this up first," Ash said, looking at her in the eyes, "and then we'll talk about this." 

"..." Kaori nodded, though she clearly looked a little disappointed. Ash placed her hands on Kaori's face gently, lifting her eyes up to meet her own. 

"We'll sit down back at the inn, get something warm to eat and something cold to drink," Ash told her, "and we'll talk. I promise. But, for now, we need to get out of here first. Okay?" 

"Y-Yeah," Kaori nodded. 

"Kaori," Ash said, "thanks for telling me. It means a lot that you trusted me enough to vent like that. But, we're in the middle of a demon-infested mountain, and it's cold as fuck out here," Ash chuckled, "I don't think this is the place or the time to really talk about this, as much as I want to." 

"I understand," Kaori replied. "You're right." 

"..." Ash hoped Kaori understood that she wasn't disregarding her feelings. She really wasn't. This just wasn't convenient considering where they were and what was around them. 

"Come on," she moved up and kissed Kaori's forehead. "Let's do this."