Chapter 75 - Goodbye

Ru Shi turned as she heard the cold voice behind her. She looked at Mu Chang for a second.

She then started walking towards him. When she reached him.

She looked into his eyes

"You?"

She chuckled

"Who do you think you are?"

After she said this, she bypassed him. Mu Chang frowned

So does she want to ignore him forever?

Mu Chang followed her, when they reached a dark alley he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms.

"Let go of me!!"

"No! Not until you promise to listen to me"

Knowing that he won't really let her go until she agrees

"Fine!"

After that Mu Chang released her.

"So are you planning on avoiding me forever?"

Mu Chang said.

"Well, if that's the only way for you to realize your mistakes."

Ru Shi said as she looked at him.

"Mistakes! I didn't do anything with Qin Jieli. She was sick and I just went to help her.

The next day she came to apologize and said she has let go of everything from the past. That's why I gave her the job"

Mu Chang explained in one breath as he was afraid that she'll leave.

"Let go of everything? What makes you think she'll leave you alone!"

Mu Chang sighed as he stared at her

"Why don't you trust me?"

He said as he stepped back.

"Trust?"

Ru Shi chuckled as she asked.

"I've trusted so many people in my life but they kept disappointing me. And it seems you're not any different from them.

This isn't about trust Mu Chang!"

Ru Shi said.

"Then what? Why are you behaving like this?"

Mu Chang whispered.

Ru Shi stared at him. So he doesn't even know what he did wrong.

"Everything! You lied to me and you don't even realize that. Why would you lie to me about seeing your ex? I asked you that time if everything was alright. That was your chance to tell me but you decided to look straight into my eyes and lie!"

Ru Shi shouted at him.

"But I did that to protect you. I know how insecure you're in this relationship. I didn't want to give you another reason to be more insecure. Am I wrong?"

Mu Chang said as he grabbed her shoulders.

"And who's fault is that, who made me insecure in this relationship?"

"I've been through so much Mu Chang. I build walls around me but for you, I broke down those walls. I expected so much from this relationship but you let me down. You don't even know what you want. You keep thinking about you, your everything is about you! When will you think about me huh? This is a relationship, not a freaking dictatorship. You can't think or decide for me."

Ru Shi took his hands and removed it from her shoulders

"Well, what did I expect from a relationship that was built out of l.u.s.t? Happily forever?"

She said sarcastically.

Mu Chang's hand trembled as he looked at her.

He can see the disappointment, pain and heartache in her eyes.

"But I love you. I really do."

He said as he raised his hands to touch her face.

Ru Shi flinched from his touch.

"Do you? Because I can't see and feel that love Li Mu Chang. When I accepted you at the hospital I knew our relationship was not going to be easy due to our status but I was ready to fight for you, for us. I thought we'll work hard every day to make this work. But I can't do this alone. I want to feel like you want this too. That our relationship is worth fighting for. Only by knowing this can I fight with others for you, for our relationship."

She said as she looked away.

"I think it is better if we give each other some space. For both of us to think about what we want in this relationship."

Mu Chang stiffened when he heard her.

"What do you mean?"

Ru Shi looked into his eyes.

"Hmm, you heard me. I don't want to get hurt again. And I think you should know what you want first. Or else this relationship won't go anywhere."

Mu Chang punched the wall behind him.

"I want you!"

Ru Shi flinched as she looked at him.

"Are you sure you're not saying this because of that guy huh?"

Ru Shi rolled her eyes at him.

Why does he always assume the worst?

"No, Li Mu Chang. This is about you. The fact that you don't know what you want. The fact that you lied to me and the fact that you keep thinking about yourself in this relationship! You can only blame yourself."

Mu Chang stared at her. So what should he do? Should he really let her go?

He knows that if he can't convince her, then she'll really leave him.

The determination in her eyes scares him. He really loves her but why does he keep hurting her. Maybe she deserves someone better. Maybe he should really let her go.

Ru Shi fidgeted as he stared at her without saying anything.

God knows how much she's hurting while saying this.

But enough is enough. She has given him so many chances and if he can't even realize his mistakes then he doesn't deserve her.

She won't settle for anything less. She has been through a lot to be a pitiful little girl begging for love.

He is silent, and then suddenly, without any warning, he reached for her, pulling her towards him and covering her lips in a kiss that's hard, hungry, and demanding.

Despite the riot of emotions, she was feeling, her body responded immediately, her tongue meeting his, taking and giving.

It felt as if she's melting into him as if she'll never see him again. By the time he released her, they were both panting. He pulled back and closed his eyes, his c.h.e.s.t rising and falling as he tries to get his breathing under control.

Ru Shi's thoughts were all jumbled in her head, and she felt as if she's going to cry.

"I'm sorry," he says roughly. At that moment, she knew she has made a huge mistake. She wanted to tell him that she's willing to take whatever he has to give. She wanted to beg him not to leave, but the words failed her. She knows she has to do this.

Only by giving him space will he understand everything and value her. He has to figure out if he wants her or not. She hopes really hopes her decision is correct and that he'll come back and when he does he would have already known what he wants. Then they can start this relationship.

Mu Chang opened his eyes and stared at her.

"Goodbye Ru Shi"

Mu Chang said as he turned and left.

Ru Shi stared at his desolate back and blinked the tears that are threatening to come away

By the time he completely disappeared from her sight, her cheeks were wet with tears, and she doesn't know if he will really figure out how he feels about her and comes back.

"Don't disappoint me, Mu Chang!"

She whispered.