Lu Jinnan looked up at Bai Xiaonian, his eyes reddened…
"Regardless, we should part on good terms. We can simply say hello and nod when we meet. After all… our fathers are on pretty good terms, and my best friend is married to your best friend. We shouldn't make it difficult for them by having things turn out too ugly! I'll tell Nuan Nuan not to pair us up again. I hope you'll also make it clear to Fu Huai'an, that we parted on good terms."
Their eyes met. Bai Xiaonian couldn't bear not adding, "Hong Jinyun might really not be up to anything, but that mother of hers is rather ambitious. You'd better not give Hong Jinyun's mother a chance… to depend on you after Hong Jinyun passes away."
Perhaps women understood women better. Regardless, Bai Xiaonian's instinct told her what kind of woman Hong Jinyun's mother was.
"No need to send me back, I'll take a cab back myself!" Bai Xiaonian grabbed her bag. Her vision swept past Lu Jinnan's hand, which was still clutching her tightly. "Lu Jinnan, let go!"
Lu Jinnan refused to let go, merely gazing at Bai Xiaonian, all choked up. "I can't!"
"What's the meaning of dragging on?" Bai Xiaonian didn't struggle. "It's better that we sign the divorce agreement and lead our own lives."
"From today on, I'll guard by your side and not go anywhere else!" Lu Jinnan said with reddened eyes. "Xiaonian, over that period of time, I went to see Hong Jinyun partly out of spite. Including the photo that I took on New Year's Eve. Do you think I'm really such a careless person? If I spent Chinese New Year with another woman, do you think I'd let you spot the reflection in the window in the photo?"
"On the 4th of February, I waited outside your apartment for a long time. I saw that friend of yours Mortensen send you home, carrying big and small bags from the supermarket. You were telling Mortensen about how lively it is in China on New Year's Eve. You told him that a dish that every household would prepare on Chinese New Year's Eve is fish, for it symbolizes a surplus year after year…"
Bai Xiaonian simply looked at Lu Jinnan and didn't explain that she didn't ask Mortensen to stay for dinner at her place on Chinese New Year's Eve.
Lu Jinnan placed Bai Xiaonian's petite hand over his heart. "I'm a petty and jealous man. I hesitated for a long time before sending that photo…"
Lu Jinnan had sent that photo to Bai Xiaonian to tell her, out of spite, that although she had someone to accompany her… he wasn't spending Chinese New Year alone either.
From the 28th of January, Lu Jinnan saw Mortensen appearing at Bai Xiaonian's apartment, as well as the fiery passion in his eyes as he gazed at her. Lu Jinnan was mad at Bai Xiaonian. He didn't get an explanation from Bai Xiaonian and was only met with coldness from her…
However… Lu Jinnan really loved Bai Xiaonian too much, so much it exceeded his imagination. After the 4th of February, when he thought he had his revenge, on the 14th of February, he couldn't resist bowing to Bai Xiaonian.
But Lu Jinnan couldn't stand the fact that when he got physical with Mortensen, Bai Xiaonian had shielded Mortensen with her own body with abandon, all while staring at him coldly and furiously.
In their relationship, Bai Xiaonian forever seemed to be the proud one, while the one yielding was him.
Every time they quarreled, every time things got unpleasant… he was the one submitting to her! He had always been the one relenting. Bai Xiaonian made her every decision in a clear-cut manner, sparing no thought for Lu Jinnan at all.
Such as when she insisted on going to America. When Lu Jinnan had asked Bai Xiaonian to make a choice between him and her career, she had rejected his marriage proposal in a clear-cut manner.
Lu Jinnan thought that perhaps Bai Xiaonian didn't love him so much…
For those two weeks, Lu Jinnan was in more pain than anyone else.
He wasn't able to let go of Bai Xiaonian, and neither was he able to accept the fact that Bai Xiaonian didn't love him so much.
After those two weeks, though, Lu Jinnan still couldn't control his heart and started contacting Bai Xiaonian again…
But this time, Lu Jinnan wasn't like before… seeking Bai Xiaonian with just his fiery passion for her. This time, he came to her unable to take it lying down, and with fury.
Precisely because of this, when Bai Xiaonian told him over the phone that she fell and asked him to come back quickly, he felt resistance towards her tone of voice, which sounded like she was ordering him!
She didn't say, "can you come back"… she didn't ask. No, it was an urgent tone that didn't sound like she was pleading. The unwillingness in Lu Jinnan's heart imploded due to his rage. However, he still restrained himself, merely asking Bai Xiaonian to stop making a fuss.
He didn't hang up, giving Bai Xiaonian a chance to speak. He was waiting for Bai Xiaonian to take a softer stance. If Bai Xiaonian would only soften her tone, sound more squeamish… Lu Jinnan would have gone in the reverse direction for her.
But Bai Xiaonian remained quiet for a long time before hanging up.
When Lu Jinnan called her again, Bai Xiaonian's line was busy. For some reason, he thought of Mortensen. Clenching his teeth, he decided against going to her.
When he reached Hong Jinyun's apartment building, Lu Jinnan didn't go up. He had dialed the emergency hotline on his way there. When he reached her building, he merely watched as the ambulance took Hong Jinyun away, then went to Bai Xiaonian's place.
But since then, for a very long time, Lu Jinnan didn't get to see Bai Xiaonian again, so he had no choice but to return to China.
Before learning today that Bai Xiaonian miscarried their child on the 11th of March, while Lu Jinnan was waiting for Bai Xiaonian at the Fu residence, he couldn't take it lying down still.
He couldn't accept that he was the one who loved the deepest, to the point that he couldn't extricate himself or turn back! While Bai Xiaonian could freely extract herself as she pleased, treating him as someone dispensable.
"Xiaonian… I want you to tell me honestly, do you love me?" Lu Jinnan asked.
Bai Xiaonian's tears had dried up, leaving only reddened eyes. She said, "Loved, used to…"
The words "used to" shook Lu Jinnan, making him hurt all over. He clenched his teeth…
If she didn't love him, Bai Xiaonian wouldn't have announced her identity as Lu Jinnan's wife and saved him despite the danger at that time! Blinded by jealousy and unwillingness, he couldn't see this.
"Look, the biggest problem with us is that I love you but don't know how much you love me!" Lu Jinnan held Bai Xiaonian's hand up to kiss it. "We communicate too little. You have an unbending and headstrong character, while I'm a conceited and proud man!"
Seeing Bai Xiaonian say nothing, Lu Jinnan continued, "Since Chinese New Year's Eve until now, I haven't seen Hong Jinyun. I've seen Hong Jinyun's mother thrice, and I won't see her again in the future! I'll pay Hong Jinyun's treatment fees, but I'll never see anyone related to Hong Jinyun from now on. Because I would rather let down everyone in the world than let down you!"
"Regarding the child…"