“Some time ago, Xie Jingqiu’s childhood friend, Feng Yuan, the young master of the Feng Group, came to plead Huai’an for a lady called Rose. I heard that this young lady had been thrown into a well-known brothel by Feng Yuan’s father. However, their influence couldn’t reach Huai’an, especially when it was something that involved a brother that had connections with the triads. He asked for Huai’an’s help to quickly save that lady…”
Bai Xiaonian listened seriously. She vaguely recalled someone mentioning the Feng family’s young master…
It was said that his family had arranged a lady for him to be wedded to, but on the day of the engagement with the Guan family’s daughter, the Feng family’s young master embraced a young lady as he arrived at the scene. He said that he wanted to get engaged to that lady and asked for everyone to be his witness. His father was so angry that he was almost sent to the hospital from a heart attack.
The young lady whom the Feng family’s young master had brought over was called Rose. She worked at a nightclub. Putting aside whether she was clean, ladies from those places could only be a mistress for rich men at most. Everyone was surprised that their son wanted a beauty over the company, especially given how big the Feng Group was. He was really devoted… To think that he wanted a b*tch as his legitimate wife.
“Tang Zheng was the one who helped bring Rose out. If he was one step slower, the consequences would have been dire!” With that, Lin Nuan got to the main point. “They got to that stage because Mr. Feng had a wild nature and because Rose had a strong character! A few years ago, Mr. Feng was also someone who led an amorous lifestyle and had many women around him. Rose slowly became the only one by his side! After that, when Mr. Feng’s past fling came knocking on the door, Rose smiled and said that she would give them space to have a chat. She left and never came back…”
“I’m not Rose!” Before Lin Nuan finished her words, Bai Xiaonian interrupted. “We’re different!”
Lin Nuan leaned against the wall and said in a soft voice, “That’s right, of course you’re different. But, just like how Rose didn’t give Mr. Feng a chance to explain himself, you didn’t give Lu Jinnan a chance to explain himself either!”
Lin Nuan’s voice had always been one that could persuade and console others.
“Everyone has a past. My past was Wen Moshen! I risked my life and went to Iraq for him. If Huai’an were to keep grabbing onto this… Xiaonian, do you think that we’d be able to have the relationship we have today?” Lin Nuan used herself as an example. “On the surface, you’re someone who is all smiles, yet on the inside, you dwell too much on the details and tend to head into a blind alley. From your perspective, you might be unable to understand Lu Jinnan! But if you were to look from my perspective, you’d definitely be able to understand me. You’re someone who… would defend people who are close to you!”
On the other end of the call, Bai Xiaonian let out a soft laugh.
Both Lin Nuan and Lu Jinnan had given up their lives for someone in the past!
It was true that Lin Nuan’s words were very persuasive.
However, Bai Xiaonian hadn’t said a word about her child to Lin Nuan. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her close friend… that this was the hurdle in her heart that she couldn’t cross.
“We had a child in the past. It’s gone!” When Bai Xiaonian brought up this matter once again, she was a lot calmer than she had been before. “I can’t really say who is in the right or in the wrong over this matter, but Nuan Nuan, when I’m with him, I’ll be reminded of the child. It’s as if my heart has been put into a meat grinder… I feel that the reason I can face him calmly right now… the fact that I can stay composed, is because I no longer love him!”
Lin Nuan was very surprised to hear this…
Everything seemed to make sense now!
This was the reason Bai Xiaonian had insisted on getting a divorce. Then… was the reason Bai Xiaonian’s father, who had always supported Lu Jinnan, started to arrange for Bai Xiaonian to go for matchmaking sessions because he had found out about this?
Not hearing Lin Nuan’s reply for a while, Bai Xiaonian let out a soft laugh. “This was what I had thought in the past, but later on… I realized that it’s not because I don’t love him. It’s because the pain of losing my child will slowly dissipate as time passes! Every time I think of this… I feel guilt toward the child who couldn’t see this world in time. I, as a mother… am too heartless!”
Bai Xiaonian’s voice choked a little, and she sighed. “Although I’m right before the person I love, I feel as if I’ve reached the end of the rope. This… is probably the feeling I get when I’m with Lu Jinnan. It’s especially tiring!”
So that was it…
Lin Nuan understood now. It wasn’t that Bai Xiaonian was unable to forgive Lu Jinnan, but that she was unable to forgive herself. She couldn’t allow herself to be happy.
This was a knot that Lin Nuan was unable to undo. Lu Jinnan had to be the one to do it!
Although Lin Nuan didn’t have any solution on how to do this, her instincts told her that if even Lu Jinnan was unable to resolve this, then Bai Xiaonian would trap herself in this blind alley for her entire life.
After hanging up the call, Lin Nuan was unable to remain composed. After becoming a mother… and then hearing from Bai Xiaonian that she had lost a child before… the feeling of her heart being ground up was a lot more intense than it would have been before she had become a mother. This was especially so when the person who had lost her child was her best friend, Bai Xiaonian.
Almost without hesitation, Lin Nuan called Lu Jinnan.
Lin Nuan was someone who had the same problem as Bai Xiaonian. She was also someone who would defend the people close to her!
Just like how Fu Huai’an was also implicated by Lin Nuan’s wrath when she had thought that Lu Jinnan had forced himself on Bai Xiaonian back then, Lin Nuan would definitely defend Bai Xiaonian no matter what happened.
During the call, Lin Nuan told Lu Jinnan that she had found out about the child. She wanted to know the entire story.
Lu Jinnan didn’t hide anything and explained everything honestly to Lin Nuan. Lin Nuan was about to scold Lu Jinnan when he said, “That’s definitely the last time in my lifetime that I’ll act like that towards Xiaonian. In the future… it won’t happen again! Lin Nuan, I’ve already lost the support of Xiaonian’s father. Can you help me out? I beg of you!”
This was the first time that Lu Jinnan had lowered himself and begged Lin Nuan.
Lin Nuan kept silent for a while, not giving a reply.
Lu Jinnan waited silently for Lin Nuan’s reply.
“Lu Jinnan… from the beginning, the two of us have always found each other disagreeable to the eye. The two reasons we can be so amicable with each other are Huai’an and Xiaonian!”
When Lu Jinnan heard Lin Nuan’s words, he already sensed that she was going to reject him…
He wanted to tell Lin Nuan that he no longer found her disagreeable. The events that had taken place in Iraq had changed his views on Lin Nuan.
“I’m unable to help you! I can only tell you… that the hurdle that Xiaonian is unable to pass is the child. That’s how far my help can go. Your future with Xiaonian will depend on how much effort you devote to her!”
After hanging up the call, Lin Nuan was still unable to calm down her emotions.
During the times she had been in a sorry state in the past, Bai Xiaonian was by her side. But when Bai Xiaonian had lost her child, she didn’t know anything.
Compared to Lin Nuan and Song Yao, Bai Xiaonian was actually more reserved. She wouldn’t hide her happiness from her friends, but she wouldn’t share her woes with them.
After hanging up the call with Lin Nuan, Lu Jinnan sat at his desk, remaining silent. He took out his cigarettes and shook one out, bringing it to his lips and then flicking on his lighter.
As the flame flickered, Lu Jinnan narrowed his eyes, not lighting the cigarette. He gently released the lighter, causing the flame to go out.
He thought of what Lin Nuan said at the very end…