Chapter 384 - My Heart Hurts

Seeing that little face, Qiara's heart ached a lot. 

Remembering the time passed by her son without a mother. Not only that, she was also sad because she couldn't bring Zio to meet Renata.

Unable to contain the pain, Qiara shed tears without a sound. 

Feeling warm drops falling onto the back of his right hand, Zio opened his eyes and found the woman he had been feeling comfortable with lately. For him, he is not his mother, but a beautiful aunt who wants to be friends with him.

"Why is aunt crying?". Zio asked in a soft and gentle voice.

Instantly Qiara was shocked when she heard her son's question which sounded very beautiful. 

"Ohh gosh, did auntie make you wake up? Please forgive aunt!". Qiara said as she kissed the back of Zio's hand after controlling herself so that her tears wouldn't fall again.

"I've been sleeping since 9 o'clock, I think it's already twelve at night because I usually wake up at that time. So, aunty doesn't need to apologize". Zio answered while sitting down and blinked a few times when he saw Qiara. 

"Really? Since when do you always wake up at that time!". Qiara asked in surprise because she was increasingly interested in the way her son lived.

"Since I was three years old, I will go to sleep at 9 pm, then wake up at twelve at night. That is how it goes until today." Zio explained. 

Qiara was so anxious when she saw the messy mouth when he spoke. 

"What's going on at 12 o'clock at night? After waking up at 12 you will fall asleep again or turn into superman? Hehehe..". Qiara asked while teasing Zio with a sweet smile.

"Only at 12 o'clock at night I can see Mama calmly, I will wake up at 12 at night then get out of my bed. After that, I will wash my face and then sit in front of the window with the curtains open so I can see the brightest star that I am. Think of it as my mother. After that I will paint it because I like it". Zio explained while putting a smile on his flat face because he smiled too often. 

Qiara was surprised to hear Zio's explanation, she did not expect that Zio has unique habits that not all children can do. In addition, it hurts to hear Zio say that he will only see Mama at 12 at night.

"Who taught you? Is it your Papa who said that the star is your Mama?". Qiara asked with a trembling mouth as she held back her tears. 

Zio blinked his pretty eyes, after which he shook his head expressionlessly. 

"Then, who taught you like this? The star is not a living thing. So, the star cannot be your mother". Said Qiara who could no longer hold back her tears. 

Zio was even more confused when he saw Qiara's expression suddenly became serious and burst into tears. 

"Nobody taught me, it started when I saw a child living next to the house. She has a Mama and I don't. So whenever I feel homesick and want to have Mama, I look at the stars so my heart immediately feels calm". Zio said with a sad expression.

Crushed, that was one word that could describe her heart when she heard Zio's explanation. 

"Oh my God, is this a reward for my past actions? I left him so that the star is much better than letting me be his Mama. Is this little boy so hurt that he behaves like this?". Inner Qiara while wiping her tears.

After that, Qiara immediately hugged her son tightly while sobbing a sob. Her heart was broken and broken, she felt she did not deserve anything bigger than what Julian had given her. 

"My mind is very sick, I let him be isolated and feel lonely because you don't have Mama. Zio, you've been through a lot of things dear. If one day you find out that I am your Mama, please don't forgive me. But, now please let me be by your side and take care of you. I promise to take good care of you dear. I will risk my life for you ". Qiara's mind couldn't stop crying.

Zio was silent, he could feel Qiara's heartbeat. Apart from that, he also felt his back that was soaked by Qiara's tears that didn't stop either. 

Instantly, Zio patted Qiara's shoulder with his little hand as his Papa always does when he is crying or throwing a tantrum. 

Not long after that, Qiara let go of her embrace and then looked at Zio with a sad gaze. 

"Zio, can aunty ask something!". Qiara asked after wiping her tears.

Zio immediately nodded without saying anything. 

"If your mother comes back, will Zio accept it?". Qiara asked with a confused feeling. 

Qiara's heart was beating violently, she was anxiously waiting for Zio's answer. Meanwhile Zio just stared at her without emotion so she couldn't guess what Zio was thinking. 

Without answering Qiara's question, Zio got out of bed with his two small feet down with him touching the floor. 

Qiara frowned when she saw what Zio was doing, suddenly her brain went blank because she couldn't understand the attitude of her smart son. 

"That's my Mama, so I don't need another Mama". Said Zio, pointing to the star from behind his bedroom window. 

Like a thunderbolt that flashed when a storm hit, the flash hit Qiara's heart trough and she felt short of breath. 

Her son doesn't need it, is there anything more painful for a mother than a sentence like that that comes out unhindered from that adorable little mouth? 

"He doesn't need me, is that true? This child was raised by a father independently. He doesn't need anyone but his father. Is this a curse? What should I do now with him?". Inner Qiara shedding even heavier tears. 

"Auntie, don't cry anymore, I don't like being pitied by people. I used to live without Mama, so I'm not sad now. I'm a big girl and can do anything alone. Well, would you accompany me to paint!" Zio said softly while holding Qiara's hand after he showed her where his Mama was.