Chapter 387 - 382 Deep Thoughts (2)

"People pass through our lives. Some of them fade into memories, but a few become part of who you are." ----The Kissing Booth 3 (2021)

Suzy stands up and immediately went to the door, but when she opens it, she was shocked and screamed. Right in front of the doorstep is a flower arrangement for funeral rites bearing her and Sofia's name. She also saw two urns with their names on them, Suzy suddenly sat down on the floor, and she felt that her legs turned into Jell-O. "Who did this?! Who's playing pranks on us?! Show yourselves. You are a coward and this prank is not funny!" Suzy shouted 

----

Villa 7, Louie's room

Louie was in a daze as he was laying on his huge bed, the bed was newly acquired. He let his servants disposed of the old bed where Sofia laid her body. Louie is having deep thoughts about the words, his grandparents had just revealed, for him, if only his grandparents informed him beforehand about Luna's participation in their company, he may not divorce her and he will dispose of Sofia unto his life. 

Louie stands up from his bed and went to one of the paintings that he bought in one of the auctions, Sofia thought that he bought it because of her, but the truth was, Louie bought it for Luna. Luna likes the painting so much that she post it once on her Facebook that she will purchase that someday. Louie took the painting and there is a secret vault that even Sofia didn't exist. 

Inside the vault, Louie took out different solo pictures of Luna that has been photographed by some people that Louie hired. Luna doesn't know that Louie hired some people that will follow her and photograph her from behind. Louie took out the picture of Luna and walk back to the bed, he sat down and started to ċȧrėss it. 

"My Luna, I will love you until the moment I pass from this existence to the next, and then I will find you again and I will surely love you some more. I will make sure that you will be mine forever and no one can harm you. I am sorry if I am not man enough to stand for you. I am a jerk and I messed up everything. Thank you for giving me such adorable and wonderful kids" Louie said out loud.

Even the deepest word will not be able to define the excruciating pain that he was feeling right now. The calm wind, the bright sun, and the warmth from the moon observing him right now, and even how he will cry each night, it seems that the pain will be deeper and it had failed to give him comfort. It's heartbreaking to see how slowly he was crashing as days go by, but still, it is admirable to witness how despite life is cruel to him. Now that he knows everything, he can't promise to hurt Sofia physically, mentally, and emotionally, just like what he did to Luna. But the only difference will be was that he will never get intimate with her anymore. 

Louie knows that nothing can fix and mend his broken heart, but still for Luna and his kids, he will smile and look and move forward and live each day with open scars, he made those scars from him and still pleading with the universe, please let this suffering a little less painful.

"Now I regret that one little word I said to you Luna because it is too late now to let you know that I lied about my true feelings. I've destroyed what could be the best part of me. I've clearly signed the contract of thinking, regretting, and crying over you for a lifetime. I've paid the price of not letting you go and letting you know that I had never loved you, but the truth was I do love you, whether you are the girl on the blue mask or not, I just don't want to accept my true feelings for you because I was so afraid of rejection, a rejection that you will not accept me because of Sofia and that it could ruin what we started. You're very far away and your life is different now from what I used to dream about. And I'm here, still dreaming of the other side that we could still be together" Louie once again uttered as he kisses Luna's picture and put it on his left ċhėst. 

There is no doubt that this moment is the moment of pain because when we have been with someone and love them deeply, being separated from them feels like the end of our life. Some people may choose to leave because they have found an alternate path, an alternative person or they just don't feel they belong to that relationship anymore. Although they must try their best to revive their relationship, take it throughout and try to make adjustments, this is not always possible. 

Forcing or begging someone to stay in a relationship means only having their physical presence without having love, maybe that's why Luna didn't, beg nor force herself to be by his side. If his heart is not with her, there is nothing left in that relationship. And it really made him more hurt, the pain he is now feeling are regrets and disappoints and his thoughts were that his heart may feel very heavy and emotions might overflow, let go and forgive. Letting go will help him as a person to go on his chosen path and Luna's forgiveness will bring healing to his own heart. 

Louie misunderstood Luna, and misunderstandings are the biggest obstacle in any relationship. It creates doubts and a feeling of uncertainty, and even the closest relationship can at times face the challenge of misunderstandings. The eyes that were full of love become so full of doubts that most of the people either withdraw from each other or become quiet. They even believe that what they felt or have known is only the truth without trying to find the reality and the facts behind the story. This sometimes creates even more distance between the two people. The effort should rather be to close this distance not make it wider. This can only be done with effective communication and an understanding heart. Now, Louie finally understood that he must never let any misunderstandings go unresolved. Always speak to the other person, and try to make it up. It takes years to build a relationship, misunderstandings can break it in a second.

Now, Louie is a broken piece, a shattered one. He will first fix himself, he needs to find that unbroken piece of his heart and soul. Yes, it is there even if he feels completely shattered and there is something about himself that he underestimates, the inner strength. The inner strength never gets lessened rather with every experience in life, it only gets built up more and more. Louie chuckled, this time he just needs to trust himself and trust Luna. There must be a reason why he has to go through this phase. But he knows he can overcome it, he. . . No, they will overcome all these problems, he and Luna will have a peaceful life in the future. 

Louie sigh and thought of something, "Maybe Dr. Bhawna Gautam said was right. She once said that we can steer our lives, but it's our life that lays the path in front of us. Steering means, with our thoughts, actions, and behavior, we can influence our journey of life, but still, our life has the ultimate control over it. There are times in life when nothing seems to be working in our favor. We don't see things happening the way we want. We have put in our best effort, but are unable to achieve the dėsɨrėd results. We feel disappointed and frustrated. This moment of frustration only adds to our stress and anxiety. We must never forget that there is a limit to what we can control and truly, there is very little control we have. If you cannot see things happening your way, just do your very best, relax your mind and observe. There is nothing more than the best you can do, but remember when you put in a hard and honest effort, it may take time but life tries its best to bring it closer to you"  Louie mumbled to himself. 

Louie laid in bed, still holding Luna's picture, then he had this deep thought again. Love is very mysterious in all aspects and a complicated one, one of the worst parts of it was that it has the supremacy to both make and break your entire world of a person. The thing with love is that it is destructive in many ways and it will make you regret it if you didn't fix it and treasured it. It makes people go crazy that everything else seems small when it comes to the people you love.

Sometimes, the people who are so much in love, make every step that they take revolves around them. They even change their habits and slowly get used to new things that they never thought they would do. Just like he did back then, he doesn't like eating sweets, nor sandwiches, but when Luna made some cupcakes and grilled chicken sandwiches for him, he didn't throw them, but rather he ate all of them and he didn't even let his friends taste some of it. Luna only thought that he throws all the foods that she always prepares for him. Louie chuckled, "Yuan is the most blessed among his friends. He got to taste all Luna's food, Luna even prepares something for him separately" Louie said to himself once more. 

"Truth be told, love is scary, very scary though. When people take a leap and fall in love, it also means that person leaves a lot behind and sometimes people fall so madly in love with someone that they'd be ready to give up all of their dreams and ambitions just for them. When it comes to love, it is beyond rationality, it is beyond reasoning, and that's the thing about love- it is complicated but it is also such a precious thing. Maybe, love is a paradox or maybe, in the end, love is a good reason for everything to fall apart" Louie said out loud as he stared at Luna's picture. 

"Take a good rest, My Luna, I will see you in weeks" Louie uttered as his eyes drifted to sleep, he was already the exhaustion of his body, and it's giving way to slumber. 

----

Dear Readers, 

This novel is only for web novel…. Thank you for your support. All of your Chapter Comments, Paragraph Comments, Suggestions, Power Stones, Gifts, and Star votes are greatly appreciated and it boosts my feelings to write more.

Love lots from me and a bear hug from me to you.