Chapter 192 - The Selfish Me Wants Everyone To Live Happily.

Episode 185- The selfish me wants everyone to live happily. 

"I thought that that world was going to be our last world together. I thought that that was going to be my last life with you because of the conditions I set out for reversing time. But, because we were merged, sister took me with you and we were born together as twins again."

Eugene bit her lips. She now knew who was inside her body, talking to her in the abyss. She had thought that it was someone random who possessed her body… but turns out, it was Euria. Euria had come to bid her goodbye.

"Before sister was reborn, I used all the powers I had to eradicate Occul from everyone. This was so that everyone could live safely and away from problems caused by Occul. Unfortunately, I was unable to take Cul out of the air because that would be the same thing as trying to eradicate oxygen...which was simply impossible."

'Oh… that's a relief.' Eugene sighed softly. Though she didn't know what the difference between Occul and Cul was exactly, taking one or the other out was better than leaving the both of them together. 

Euria said that only three people in this world had special abilities. This was Euria, herself, and the elder she presumed. 

Of course, there was still the pill that changes one's appearances, teleportation, Promissum, and stuff like that, that she was confused about and wished it was gone, but for now, she could live with it. 

Eugene suddenly furrowed her brows,

'But is the elder still alive?' The elder had a part of his soul destroyed. But does that mean he died?

"Normally, a person would die if their whole soul was destroyed. However, because Elder had been wary of me, I assumed that he had left a part of his soul before he died when I reversed time the first time. I also assume that he was born two to three years before us. 

Sister, elder was the one behind the incident at the Royal Palace. Through that incident, he was testing if I was the Euria from the first life. And he found out that I wasn't because I was powerless. Back then, I had no memories of Occul, myself, or even our past lives. 

The only thing I knew was to love sister with all my heart, be good to our family. That was all I knew. Oh… I may or may not have experienced an identity crisis when I saw myself with red eyes for the first time. 

And this was what I've kept from you since a long time ago. Is sister angry? I think you will be angry especially after knowing who I truly am and what I did. I think I am still selfish and I know that I am a stupid individual. I am selfish for making decisions alone. But despite being selfish, I know that I should never forget about the past and what I did to everyone. 

So the selfish me wants to protect sister and everyone this time. The selfish me wants everyone to live happily. The selfish me wants everyone to live a good life filled with peace, and love. 

But don't worry. I know not to die. I won't sacrifice my life recklessly because that would mean repeating the events that happened in our first life and destroying everyone's life. I know how important I am to you and know what effects it would cause if I died. 

Though I hope things would be resolved and you never receive this letter, if you do read this, I hope you know that I am of sound mind, and will be alive. I did not abandon anyone and I will make it right. 

So, please don't worry about me. I will be okay wherever I am. Please take care of mother, and of everyone. She is weaker than you think. And also sister!

FOR THE MILLIONS OF TIMES, KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

And that I'm sorry for everything.

-Euria."

Eugene stared at Euria's signature for a long time. She had expected to crawl into a hole filled with oppression and negativity after reading Euria's letter, but she didn't. Instead, she felt nothing. 

Eugene folded a letter and noticed that the next letter was short, so Eugene decided to read it, 

"I hope sister is not feeling too pressured. To lighten the atmosphere up, let me annoy you!

Hmm….

Oh! In all of our lives together, I was always born a year, two years, or three years before sister was born. I was always the Eldest daughter and was always your older sister. It was only our former life and this life that I wasn't born with you or born older than you. 

Is sister surprised? You must be fuming right now right? If sister is very angry of if sister uses Occul, sister eyes may or may not revert to red. The same applies to me. If I use Occul or if I get very angry, my eyes sometimes turn to grey. 

This happens because sister originally had red eyes and I originally had grey eyes. The body you have is my body, and the body I have is your body. 

P.S- I hope you never use your blood. And if you do happen to use your blood, it must be an emergency only! Emergency x10000. 

P.S.S- To use it, sister must wish for something to happen. I don't know why I'm telling you this but anyway, try to not use it.

-Euria."

"..." Eugene's lips pursed into a straight line. 

She shook her head and shoved the letter back into the envelope with letters she already read and letters that still needed to be read. 

"Haa…" Eugene exhaled as she stared into space. She was trying to digest everything she had read into her mind.

There were still many letters she had to read, however she will save that for later. But for now, she knows and understands the gist of the situation and will focus on that. 

"...Comrade Eugeneia?" His voice was unexpectedly soft which shocked Eugene greatly. She turned to Con whose face suddenly froze. 

"What is it?" Eugene stared straight into Con's eyes. 

Con gulped and for the longest time said nothing. It was only until he realized that Eugene didn't realize it herself that he responded, "Eugeneia… you're crying."

For a second, Eugene was blank. His words seemed to not sink into her mind, however when her palm reached for her face, she understood immediately. 

"Oh." 

Tears kept tricking down Eugene's eyes as if it was a broken dam. The word 'Oh' was repeated so many times as if it was being replayed by a broken record. No matter how many times Eugene rubbed her eyes, tears would not stop and more would flow down. Her stomach, which felt dug out, began cramping. As if she was going downhill on a rollercoaster. 

'For the millions of times, know that I love you very much and that I'm sorry for everything.' For some reason, Euria's words in Euria's voice kept repeating in her mind. This was a sentence she heard a lot growing up. At first, she thought that Euria was apologizing for the tricks Euria would always play on her. But now… She knows that that wasn't it. Though unconsciously, Euria was apologizing for their first life.

"I.. I…" Eugene couldn't handle it anymore and broke down over her palms. She wasn't crying for herself but was crying for Euria who had been through thousands of life, repenting. For thousands of lives, she never lived for herself. For thousands of lives, she had been apologizing. And for thousands of lives, she never forgave herself. 

Memories of her and Euria during their three years appeared in Eugene's mind one by one. It was not Euria who was selfish but her. She never cared for Euria even though Euria was always the one who held her hands out. It was Euria who brought her out of the coldness and made her live again. She was the one who was selfish for taking Euria as a grant. It was her who didn't care. 

"I… already - Huk-  Miss you…" She sobbed in between her breaths as she squatted to the ground. Only Eugene's cries and the roaring of the waterfall could be heard. Her cries were very heartbreaking that they caused animals walking through the forest to come to a halt; as her emotions affected them as well. 

.

.

.

"I will get her back. I have to get her back." Her voice was cracked and it was hoarse, but it was said with conviction and determination. 

Con said nothing and only stood by her side. 

After calming down through mediating and realizing that mediating didn't work hence banging her head on the tree multiple times, Eugene realized one other important detail about their trip to Zene. 

Back then, Euria had found a hand that was hidden inside of the lake. This was what caused everyone to be suspicious of Commander Kal and Zene. She had always thought that the hand she found was suspicious. But after reading the letter, she was 80 percent certain that it was Euria who had planted the hand. And she planted it to warn everyone to be careful. 

Eugene's hands were clenched tight all the way back to the mansion. She felt like a useless person who was ignorant of every matter. Euria went with the enemies to protect everyone, while Moniqua's life was in danger because she had protected her from the arrow. No matter if months have passed by or if years have passed by, everyone was still protecting her. 

And if she remained doing nothing, she would still be the person she is currently. This was unacceptable to her, hence she decided to take action today. 

She was going to leave this house, this mountain, and will get Euria back.