Chapter 253 - Eugene’s Heart Hurt

Episode 246- Eugene's heart hurt

"I'm sorry for shoving your hands away and being rude. I'm sorry." This was what she wanted to apologize for. The things she did on the day she woke up were from desperation and she did not think twice before implementing her actions. It was only after she hid herself in her room that she realized that she hurt Moniqua who was just worried over her. 

Moniqua's mouth opened and closed as words got stuck in her throat. She gulped back her emotions and grabbed a hold of Eugene's hands tighter. 

"I understand Eugeneia. I understand that you didn't speak those words from your heart that day. It is alright. I don't hold you for that." Her eyes stared into Eugene's eyes seriously. Through that seriousness, her eyes were teary from holding back tears. 

Eugene glanced down at their connected hands and muttered again, "Sorry."

After a week of just thinking about Euria, she thought about the people close to her. If there was something else she blamed herself for, it was her talent for making other people sad. This was an emotion she never really understood and didn't understand why people would feel guilty all the time over nothing until she experienced it herself. After self-blame, she began to loath herself greatly. Everyone was good to her yet all she did was hurt their feelings. 

Eugene's heart began to beat faster. She felt her throat closing and put her cutlery down. She could feel herself heading down deeper into a black abyss and she wanted to prevent it before that happened. 

"I want to rest." She stood up slowly and turned to Levis and continued, "I still need some time." She needed time to sort out the feelings that were causing her to become who she didn't want to become. She needed it to get out of her hell hole known as darkness. 

Levis didn't think deeply before responding, "Take as much time as you want. Do whatever you want. And if you want help, we are always here for you. But there is one condition."

Eugene stared deeply into Levis's eyes, not knowing what he was going to say. 

"Make sure you eat your meals. All of it, without any leftovers."

Eugene's heart hurt from his words, and she lowered her head. She nodded after one full minute. 

Eugene watched as Moniqua and Levis left the room before sitting back on the table. His words moved Eugene so much that her heart hurts more than ever. She stared at her food before picking up her cutlery. 

She broke down her food into small pieces and forced herself to eat as tears welled up in her eyes. It was the first time she's ever felt unconditionally supported. No, she has always been supported unconditionally but never realized it herself. 

Eugene choked on her food but stuffed it down into her throat regardless. 

And just like that, Eugene stayed cooped up in her room for one full month. She did not train, and she did not read. She did nothing but stare at her window. However, unlike half a month ago where she was just living lifelessly, there were two things that changed. And that was not asking how Euria was doing, and finishing her food. 

There were many things Eugene thought of during this period of rest and that was on how to go on about her life. She still didn't know what to do with her life as she lost her purpose completely. She no longer felt that it was necessary to train to become stronger, and no longer wanted to train. It had gotten to the point where she wouldn't be bothered if she was killed today. And she hated that thought so much because of the people who loved her. She knew that if she died without doing anything, the people who she left behind would die as well. And because of this, she wanted to change herself. She wanted purpose and wanted to continue on the road.

Hence, she decided to seal her emotions in order to move on with her life. She had become a bit too emotional and empathic that she could not control her life and her mind. That's why she sealed off the feeling of sadness. 

After sealing her sadness, she was able to move on and leave her room. 

Yes, it was a cowardly move, but she had to do it in order for her to move on for everyone who loved her and also for herself. And she was glad she did it because it made everyone incredibly happy. 

Everyone was kept in the dark about what she did in order to leave her room, and just like that, life returned to the Veria mansion once again. 

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Eugene watched through the little carriage window and watched as the world moved along. First, it was a forest filled with trees, then a plain road, people walking, homes, buildings, and finally, her grand destination. She was alone in the carriage with only the head driver. This was specially requested by Eugene who requested to Levis that she wanted to leave alone. 

Though Moniqua and Levis protested to bring an extra guard along inside the carriage, they still gave in because they knew that Eugene had the ability to escape in case something did occur. Not to mention, they compromised with Eugene and had 10 hidden guards behind her. They were close enough to protect Eugene in case something happened, however far enough for her not to see them physically. 

And that was how Eugene was able to ride in the carriage alone. 

When the carriage came to a stop, the carriage driver announced, "We have arrived, Eldest Miss." 

Eugene didn't say anything and stayed seated in her seat for a good second before proceeding to head out of the carriage. In front of her was a grand entrance, with dragon carvings carved into the wall. The dragon is a symbol of power, strength, and luck, and there's a saying that just passing through this entrance will give you those three symbols. 

Yes, she was at the Imperial Palace. A grand palace, with intricate interior design that can only belong to your one and only Imperial Palace of Xenperia. Eugene could see herself and her striking green outfit everywhere she went because the palace was layered with glass.

She decided to wear her military attire, hence when she passed by the Imperial knights, they did not know who she was and greeted her as a comrade from another unit. Her hair was braided and bundled up and no hair could be seen, and along with her field cap, no one was able to see her eyes which normally stand out.

Her height made her look like a teen, so no one associated her with the Eugeneia Veria, the blessed twin of Xenperia. Everyone thought of her as 'short' because the average height in the military was 182cm, however, no Imperial knights dared to point it out because they were afraid that the small person they walked by was a part of the special unit of the military. 

This special unit was known to consist of weird and unique people. Only crazy stories about this unit spread out in Xenperia, which was why no one dared to pick a fight with her or talk to her.  Though no one knows who exactly was in this unit, they just assumed she was in the unit because of her… special height. Well, it was also because the special unit of the military was currently at the Imperial Palace that they thought that Eugene was a part of this unit

Just like that, Eugene's walk to the audience room was incredibly smooth. Yes, she was on the way to the King's audience room for a private meeting. 

This weird private meeting setup began on the day Eugene stepped out of her room after making some life-changing choice. 

"El, Eldest Miss!" Due to the shock of Eugene stepping out of her room, a maid cleaning the window outside Eugene's room slipped and fell to the ground.

Eugene walked up to the nervous maid and exchanged glances. She extended her hand to the maid, who continued to stare at her in disbelief.

The maid's hand trembled as she reached over to grab Eugene's hand. What the maid didn't expect was to be pulled up and be on her feet within a second. She was shocked and was about to thank Eugene when Eugene spoke before her. 

"Please prepare the bath," Eugene asked the maid. 

"Y, YES!" The maid nodded firmly before proceeding to run away to do her task. 

Eugene didn't say anything and went back into her room. And no, this will not be the first time she has taken a bath in a month.. Aedelak would prepare a bath for her every day however because she was unbothered, she would only take a dip twice a week.