119 Farewell My Beloved

Hou Lei stopped in front of the room where Ji Er lay. His hands shook endlessly. What if he was too late…what if something terribly bad happened to her, he thought. It was enough to leave him in cold sweats.

He tried to shake off his worries by telling himself that she was fine. His Ji Er was fine.

He slowly stepped into the room. She was lying perfectly still in bed with both eyes closed. The elderly doctor had just finished giving her some sort of pill. When he saw Hou Lei, he stood up to greet. "How is she?" Hou Lei asked impatiently.

The doctor shook his head. "This poison…I'm afraid even I can't cure her." The doctor put his hand on Hou Lei's shoulder.

"Doctor...you must save her. Please! There's got to be a way." Hou Lei pleaded but the doctor only gave him a helpless look.

"Advisor Xu, I have done all I could. I'm sorry I can't do anything else to save her. I have failed as a doctor." He shook his head, blaming himself. "The only thing I can advise is for you to be with Consort Nuan in her last moments. She has been calling your name since." The doctor gripped Hou Lei's shoulder firmly before walking away.

Hou Lei felt as if his whole body had gone limp. He helplessly dragged his feet towards the lifeless woman in front of him. The color on her face was drained and she looked so frail it hurt his heart. "Ji Er…" He called out softly.

Her eyes twitched a few times.

"Ji Er…I've come." Hou Lei sweetly spoke as he took a seat at the edge of the bed; his palm gently embracing her cheek. "You'll be okay. I promise." He continued to talk to her until he saw her tiny finger movements.

She slowly opened her eyes. Those bright eyes that first captivated him when they first met were staring at him once again. Unlike the first time he met her, a sharp pain hit his heart this time.

"Hou Lei…is that really you?" She weakly asked. Her arm slowly reaching for his face. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his cheeks.

She smiled.

"Hou Lei…I know it's selfish of me to ask you at such a time but can you forgive me?"

He placed his palm on top of hers that held onto his cheek. "Why? You have never done me wrong. Instead...The person that should be asking for forgiveness is me. I was the one that treated you poorly. You must hate me very much."

Ji Er felt a heavy burden lift from her chest. "Hou Lei, you are too kind for your own good. You know that, right? Be careful, you're future wife will really take advantage of your kindness." She joked but he did not find it funny.

"I'll let you take advantage of me all you want." He told her.

She didn't respond to that. She knew she would not last any longer and she did not want to make any promises she could not keep. With all her strength, she explained to him what was in her heart. "That year my father was tried under false charges. It was Fei Ning who came to me with an agreement. As long as I married Prince Nan and spied for her, my father could leave unscathed. You know I would never break our betrothal if I didn't have to."

Hearing for the first time, Hou Lei felt stupid. How did he not know? Everything made sense now. That year he had been gathering as much evidence as he could to get her father out of prison but he was just a small scholar. He had no influence. And then all of a sudden Ji Er's father got released and she married Prince Nan a few days later.

"How did I not know? If I hadn't been so useless, you wouldn't be here. We would have been married with kids. I am truly stupid and useless." He blamed himself but she held onto his hand. "My Hou Lei, it is not you who is at fault. It is the heavens who played a cruel joke on us." Her eyes saddened."Don't look too sad. I'm not going far." She once again joked with him.

She coughed a few times and a few drops of blood trickled down the corner of her lips. "JI ER!" Hou Lei turned to call for a doctor but stopped when she held onto his arm. "Don't. I've accepted my fate. Before I go, I must take Fei Ning with me." After she handed him a letter with the evidence of Fei Ning and her father rebelling, she asked him to hold her.

Hou Lei gently lifted her into sitting position as her back leaned on his chest with her head on his shoulder. "Do you remember when you snuck into my room that year and my father caught us? And he almost beat you until you were crippled?" she chuckled.

He too laughed at their youthful days.

"How could I forget? It was the best day of my life." For the first time since coming into the room, he was able to speak with happiness.

"Silly man! How can you say that when you almost died by my father's hands."

Hou Lei wrapped his arms around hers tightly. "It would have been worth it. After he beat me, you and I got on our knees and begged him to let us marry. That I would never do anything to ruin your reputation." He then paused. "You don't know how long I tried to get your father to accept me. If I had known it was that simple, I would have snuck into your room earlier." He joked.

"Do you remember what you said?" She asked cheerfully. She did not doubt he would ever forget, for she too never forgot his words.

"I, Xu Hou Lei may be a lowly scholar but I promise to protect Nuan Ji Er with my life. I will never let her reputation be stained. I promise to love and cherish your daughter for the rest of my life. No matter if it's in this lifetime or the next, I must marry only Nuan Ji Er." He recited the words he spoke in front of her father and her.

"Remember to keep your promise."

Her hand dropped to his knee.

***

Not long later Hou Lei caught Pei Nan near the crossway with Fei Ning. He greeted Pei Nan but not Fei Ning. He gave the evidence to Pei Nan and pointed at Fei Ning. "Your highness, I request that you reexamine this whole case. It was Consort Ning who staged this whole act in order to murder Yu Mei but failed. Consort Ning coldheartedly murdered Ji Er." He almost strangled her but held back. "Marquis of Xu is about to stage a rebellion. Your highness, must investigate immediately.." Hou Lei urged his friend.

Fei Ning wrapped her arm anxiously around Pei Nan's. "Your highness, I am being wronged. You know my father and I have been loyal to the emperor all these years. You can't believe this madman."

Hou Lei and Fei Ning both tried to persuade Pei Nan for a long time before he finally spoke up.

Pei Nan turned to Hou Lei. "Advisor Xu, all evidence was pointed towards Consort Pan. If you had evidence, why did you not present it earlier. This case is already closed. If I was to re-investigate, how would that make me look?"

"Your highness!" Hou Lei began.

"Are you questioning my decision? Do you know what a big crime it is to accuse a royal consort? Punishable by death!" He reached to grab Fei Ning's hand to assure her everything was alright. A wicked smile almost escaped her mouth as she innocently stared at Hou Lei.

"A'Tian, escort Consort Ning back to her room. I do not wish for her to hear anything else that will shock her."

***

Pan Yu Mei was sitting on the ground of the cold cell as she stared blankly at the ground. Suddenly she stood up and kicked the wall a few times to release her pent up anger and disappointment. "Pei Nan, you are a pig headed stupid bastard." She cursed. "I have been faithful to you since the beginning yet you doubt me. If I ever get out of here, I will crush you." She shouted like a crazy woman before falling weakly onto the ground once more.

Her tears started to roll down her cheeks. "How could I be so stupid to love such a blind fool? You never loved me! You tricked me! Were you ever faithful towards me?" Her voice was weak as she tearfully scolded herself and him before huddling herself into a rock.

***

Instead of going back to her chamber like Pei Nan commanded, Fei Ning snuck into his study room. After shooing her maid away, she anxiously rummaged through every single one of his drawers and cabinet files, leaving papers flying left and right. Fei Ning started to panic a few minutes after arriving. She could not find what she was looking for. She knew she didn't have much time before someone caught her. Out of frustration, she knocked the large vase on his desk onto the ground, shattering it into pieces.

Her eyes widened. There it was! The map she had been looking for. Fei Ning bent down to grab the map on the ground. Before she could touch the map, a sharp blade was pointed at her neck. Her head slowly turned to face the man holding the blade against her.

"Your highness…"