Chapter 250 - ALTERS

Jayden POV

I looked at the other side of the bed and felt relieved that I had gotten out of the dark. When I ran towards the light, I first met my mother. 

Her eyes were cold. It wasn't silver like mine; it was pure coldness. No color and no sparkle. She looked at me and smirked.

"Hello, son. We meet again." She greeted me.

I stopped running and was shocked to see her. I was in my own little world after all, so I should expect that's she's here.

"Mom, I'm so happy to see you." I said.

I walked closer to her and hugged her tightly.

Mom was the first personality I created. When she died, I felt like I was going crazy. I could hear her cries and screams in my head, so I made her. I wanted to see her smiling face, so I always dreamed of her. That's what I thought. But it wasn't really a dream. It was the world I created and the one I wanted to see.

I wanted to escape from the reality that mom was already dead. I wanted to be with her so badly. My guilt of not being able to save her made me mad at myself. I created a world in my mind that only I could understand.

"Are you delighted to see me, son? I thought you forgot about me." She said in a cold tone.

"No, mom. Never! You told me to move on." I denied her accusation.

"Now that you knew that Matthew wasn't responsible, will you stay quiet?" Mom asked.

I was surprised by her sudden question. But before I could answer, a boy who looked like me suddenly showed up. When I looked closer, it was really me during high school.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm you. I don't have a name, though." He simply answered.

"What are you in my world?" I asked him again.

"I'm your memory before mother died." He said in a soft voice.

I really couldn't imagine how I could create someone just like that. My personality was different from this boy. It was me before my mother's murder.

"Am I unconscious?" I asked my younger self.

"Yes, so we had to switch with you, or you know what will happen, right?"

I nodded. If they don't switch me, I will fall into a coma, just like before. I stared at my mother and at my younger self. Mom's eyes were nothing but cold and blank. The younger me had the same color as mine.

I remember when Alora switched with Camila, her eyes turned red. But when she changed with Aliya, it didn't have any color. It was like my mother's. It was like looking at the eyes of a person who didn't have a soul.

"What's with mom?" I asked, confused.

"She's just mad at you. You should be thankful that you have a loving wife and an adorable son. It would be best if you weren't looking back anymore. Don't feel guilty. It wasn't your fault. Mom didn't want revenge; she wants justice." 

So that was what my mother wanted me to do. Revenge is a lot different from justice. She wanted me to give up thinking about revenge, but she didn't want me to stop seeking justice for her.

I turned to her, held and shoulders, then looked into her eyes.

"Mom, I promise I will find those people. I'm not going to take revenge. I'll make sure to put them in jail." I said.

She smiled at me, and her eyes suddenly changed. It was now lively, and she looked happy.

"Thank you, son. Now, go to Peggy and don't ever come back in here." Mother scolded me.

I nodded, then kissed her on the cheek, and started running away from mom and my younger self.

Then I saw another me before I was able to reach the light. He was me after mom got murdered—the one who wanted revenge.

"So you're here." He said.

"Yeah. I was trapped, and I wanted to go to that light. It's Peggy." I answered while pointing at the tiny glow ahead.

He nodded and didn't say a word. He wanted revenge before but changed his mind after meeting Peggy. I'm not sure if he knew that other people were involved with mom's murder. 

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"Somewhere around here." 

"How many are they?'

He smirked. "You know, you should stop creating alternate identities. It would just put you and your family in danger. Darkness already consumed you a long time ago. We were created because of your fears. I am the second one you created. I have lived inside your mind ever since mom died. Don't you think it's enough? Why do you have to create more of us?" 

"Are you saying there's more than five in here?" I asked, confused.

"Your mind is broad but weak. Every time you feel hurt or scared, you create a new personality inside you. And you didn't even know about it." He answered.

"How do you know all of this?" I asked.

From what I remembered, father said that each personality didn't know what the others knew. They also couldn't remember what the other identity had done when he switched with them.

"As I said, the mind is broad, and anything is possible in this world. You created it." 

I sighed. I couldn't even explain why I had to create those identities. Am I really that weak? I should get out of here. I need to go to Peggy.

Without a word, I left him and started running again. I saw the other two of me, but I didn't stop. I continued to run, but before I got out. I saw another me. 

It was too fast, and I didn't see his reaction. My right foot was already in the light; then, my whole body was slowly being taken out of the darkness. When I opened my eyes, I saw Peggy sleeping beside me.

I found out that I had forgotten about her, that we were married. Peggy told me that I strangled Andrew when he told us about Nina. I felt guilty. My friends were worried but not because they were afraid of me, it was because I couldn't remember my marriage to Peggy.

According to a study, dad said around half of the people with dissociative identity disorder have fewer than ten identities, and most have fewer than 100. Still, there has been a report that someone has 4500. I'm sure I saw another one of me at the end of that darkness. Is he trying to get out of there?

I couldn't really tell what it was. It may be a woman or a man. I know it's possible to have another identity, which could be in any gender. All of Alora's other personalities were women. I have my mother, so it's still possible that another woman would appear but who? I was really getting anxious. Now that I am back, I can only think of protecting Peggy and Caden. I can't afford to lose any one of them.

I looked at Peggy again. I promised her that I would get into therapy, and she was happy to help me with it. Although I'm not sure if I would still switch to one of them, I will do everything to always remember my wife.

Peggy slowly opened her eyes and yawned. I chuckled when she looked at me with confusion.

"What?" I asked with a wide grin on my face.

"I thought I was dreaming." She whispered while reaching her hands to me.

I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

"You're not dreaming. I'm back, love." I said.

She nodded while wrapping her arms around my neck. I positioned myself on top of her, and I suddenly got a hard-on.

"Hey, that was fast." She giggled.

"I missed you. And you look so sexy. I know you were seducing me." I teased.

She smiled and bit her lips.

"Are you not afraid of me?" I asked.

She shook her head and gave me a quick kiss.

"No. You are my husband. I love you. I don't care if you are crazy like Alora. I will never leave you." She answered.

"I'm lucky to have you, Peg. I'll do everything to get cured."

"Hey, I just want to be with you. We could live a normal life even though you have alters."

I frowned. "Alters?"

"Yes. Alora said sometimes it's called alters. And I want to name them as well." She commented.

"Fine. Fine. Do whatever you want."

She laughed. "By the way, I think they found something about Benjamin."

"Except for the fact that he wasn't really Benjamin?" I asked.

"Yes."

"What is it?" 

Peggy didn't say a word. She was staring at me, and I knew she hesitated to tell me.

I sighed and gently caressed her cheek.

"Hey, I know you're worried. But don't worry, I'm okay now. So tell me what it is." 

She nodded and bit her lips before telling me what they had found out.

"It was Benjamin who killed your mother.." Peggy exclaimed.