Chapter 36 - Letting go

I kept calling mom to ask her to help me. She was there a moment ago but I couldn't find her now.

I can hear Peggy, she's talking to me.

"Hey you said you won't leave me no matter what. How could you do this to me? I'm waiting for you. Are you in the dark again? Are you cold out there? Can you hear me? If you do, just follow my voice. I swear if you don't get out there, I will follow you even in the depths of hell. I'm here. So please, come back to me." She said while crying.

I won't leave you. I'm trying to get out of here so don't cry.

I ran as fast as I could. I have to find a way out. Mom please help me.

"Son." It was mom.

"Mom, help me please. I need to go back to her. I can't let her cry like that." I said.

"I'm here." She said.

Then I'm back from where it all began. Back to our old house, from where she was murdered.

I heard the closet's door opened, the 7 year old me came out but I was surprised to see Peggy coming out after.

"You brought her here?" I asked, frowning.

"She wanted to see your pain. She want you to share it with her." She said.

Then she turned to Peggy.

"Peggy, will you help him?" She asked.

Peggy was stunned and I could see her eyes were already swollen from crying. I gritted my teeth. It pains me seeing her like that. I bet she couldn't sleep and eat. There were dark circles around her eyes and she looks pale.

"Give him back to me. I'm not sure if I can be any of help to him but I want to be by his side no matter what. He's the only one for me and I'm the only one for him. I'll do everything for him." She said while crying. I wanted to grab and kissed her but I couldn't.

"He finally found his true love. I won't take him anymore but it depends on you and Jayden for him to come back." She said, softly.

"What should I do?" Peggy asked.

"Talk to him and never leave his side. Scold him if you want. I trust you." She said. Then she pulled Peggy in her arms and hugged her tight.

I heard Peggy said "Mother", before she disappeared in front of me.

"You finally found her. I'm very happy for you." Mom said.

"How can I go back to her?" I asked.

"It depends on you. Your will to live. Trust your heart and don't doubt it. Jayden, let go of me. I know you're hurt, but look at her." Then she showed me Peggy.

She was crying. Dad was crying, too. What's happening? Am I dead? No, it can't be!

"You promised me! How could you? What will happen to me now? We have dreams remember? Jayden please. Love, I can't live without you. I'll follow you, if you won't come back! Please. I love you so much!" She was wailing.

"Mom, I want to go back to her. She needs me." I said.

"Jayden, let go of the past and face your future. Move forward." She simply said.

"But mom, I still want justice for you. I won't let you go."

"You can find justice for me, but do not let your pain and anger consume you. Jayden, if you let your hatred take over, you will be devoured by darkness. Do you want to drag Peggy in the dark?" She asked.

Then she showed me Peggy again. This was when I hear her crying.

"Jayden, please come back! You said you won't leave me! How could you? Please baby. I'm waiting. The house, we have our plans right? We already planned our future together. You said once I'm ready I could wear the ring. I'll wear it now! Look, here it is!"

Then on the bedroom, Peggy was holding my hand.

"Love, you were my first kiss, my first touch, my first date and my first love. And I want you to be the last. I want to have a family with you. We will have kids right? You said you want six of them. The boys will look like you and the girls should definitely resembles me." She giggled while playing with my hair.

"Our house will be filled with kids laughter everyday. I'll take care of them while you work your ass out so you can support us." I laughed. "Love, let's get married once we're 18. Like Luke and Alora. I want to be one with you. I want to use your last name. Grandpa and Kyle will be happy for us, I know it." She continued.

I felt like my heart was going to explode. Peggy was suffering while I'm still trapped in here. Why? Is it because I don't to go back? No. I wanted to go back to her. Mom said it's my will to live. And I should let go of her.

I looked at mom and smiled.

"Mom, I love you forever. I will keep you in my heart. I will let fate decide if I could find who killed you. I know I promised you. No. I promised myself, I'll find them but I found the only girl who I want to spend my life with. I can't let her cry any longer and she might really follow me, she's as crazy as me." I laughed but I was crying.

Mom smiled back at me and gave me a hug. I missed her so much.

"I'm happy for you. Take care of her and don't ever let her cry again. I love you son. And please tell your father I love him and stop blaming himself already. If he could find another woman for him, I will be very happy." She said.

"Now, think of Peggy and your most precious memory of her. Go to her and never let go of her hand."