Xu Nuan patted her chest with her fist and breathed out in relief that she didn't fall.
" Woah!! You scared the shit out of me. Why are you so moody? I almost fell." She looked up and saw Han Zihao staring at her with his gloomy expressions. She shut up and stayed in the air, in a squatting position. She was about to sit but his expressions made her freeze.
She was wondering if he doesn't want her to sit on the chair that's why he shouted. Her hand was holding onto his desk, while her butt was in the air. She knitted her brows as this awkward position was making her uncomfortable and her lower back started aching.
" Ah, Hell with it!!" when she couldn't take it anymore, she sat on the chair without looking at him. She thought that she said this in her mind but unfortunately, she spoke too loud in her mind.
Han Zihao's brows knitted and his gloomy expressions softened a bit seeing her funny antics but he was still angry. He walked to her and looked at her indifferently, scary cold expressions, " Xu Nuan, how can you talk about life and death so simply? Do you think that it's a topic to be made fun of? Even though you got into an accident, but you're safe and sound now. HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT DYING LIKE THIS?" he said with his raised voice, especially the last line.
Xu Nuan who was smiling and joking all this while, her expressions too turned serious. She clenched her fists and stared at him without saying. This time she was not saying anything nor was smiling like before. She just stared at him with strange, different expressions which made him uncomfortable.
Her eyes seemed like they were saying something but she was quiet. Those eyes were carrying a tinge of sadness and loneliness which startled him for a minute.
He blinked and wondered if he said too much. Is she scared? But he just got carried away when she talked about dying like this. Jiang Yue's death was still a big shock for him and he hasn't gotten over it yet. Hearing her talking about dying made him even more furious. He doesn't know why but he just...can't bear listening to it.
He felt like she was too immature to talk about death in a jokingly manner like this. However, he was unaware of the emotions of which Xu Nuan was going through.
Xu Nuan couldn't help but feel a sudden surge of emotions going inside her when she heard his words. Her whole life has become a joke, she died but she practically didn't. Everyone thinks she is dead but she is not, however, no one knows about that. Isn't it ironic? She is Jiang Yue but she can't call herself by her name?
The man was lashing out on her because of Jiang Yue but she can't even tell him that she is Jiang Yue.
After a while, she smiled and said, " I understand."
His lips parted in surprise upon hearing her response and he couldn't understand her thoughts. That's it? He thought that she will shout at him and call him stupid for lashing out on her for no reason but she didn't say anything. How come?
He looked at her and cleared his throat. By now, the anger and frustration he was feeling, dissipated seeing her lost expressions. He quietly went to the other side of the desk and sat on his executive chair.
He sighed and asked, " Why did you come here? What work do you have?" he said indifferently. She stared at him and it was obvious that this man hasn't slept properly in the past two days.
" You love her, huh?" she asked a question that caught him off guard.
He frowned and stared at her, with his brows knitted in puzzlement and shock, " What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
She smiled and looked to the shelf on the right, looking at the pictures, " That girl, Jiang Yue. You loved her, right?"
His frown deepened as he asked, " How can you be so sure? Just because she donated a large sum to the foundation, it doesn't mean we have something going on." he turned his head away, trying to avoid her suspicious gaze.
Her lips curled up in a smile as she said, " I am not assuming anything. Aren't those her pictures? I have seen her childhood pictures, I am part of her Fanclub you know." she shrugged her shoulders. What she said was the truth...she joined her fan club using Xu Nuan's name and she knows that there are photos of her childhood circulating on the internet. That was the most reasonable response she can give now.
He gritted his teeth and stood up to put those pictures inside the drawer.
Xu Nuan chuckled and said, " Mr. Han, you know, you're being too obvious with your feelings? Let me give you a piece of friendly advice since you have helped me so much."
She also stood up and walked towards him. She looked at him and took the frame from him. She grazed her cold fingers on the frame and smiled, however, her smile was filled with sadness and longing.
She suddenly feels regretful that she didn't get to live for more as Jiang Yue. Maybe she had met this man and might have got into a relationship with him being Jiang Yue and was living her life happily. But in that life, she didn't get to experience true love but met that bastard Qin Ju who made her feel miserable and doubt herself as a woman.
Before coming to his office, she was thinking that from now on, she will feel more comfortable around him since she knows that he was her Brother Han Zihao of her past life. But seeing his unstable moods, she could see the sadness, pain, and longing in those deep eyes, she felt very strange. The strange feelings were making her confused about her feelings. Does she want to be his friend or something else?
She bit her lower lip and said, " Mr. Han, you know, people who hold onto their past so much, will not be able to live in the present. Things happen and people..they are not immortal, they are bound to die. You have to accept that and move forward. It will be better if you soon resolve your feelings for her, otherwise by the time...it will get worse if you don't gather yourself." she looked into his eyes and said those words with a heavy heart.
She needs to remove Jiang Yue from his memories...to make her place in his heart. Is she falling for him? Maybe. Is it an attraction? Maybe. Does she love him? Not sure.
She doesn't have a definite answer to any of her questions. She just..don't want to lose this man in this life. If they haven't shifted to another place, she might have grown up with him and they might have fallen in love earlier than she had expected. However, she is not blaming what happened in the past. She can't change that, can she?
What she needs to do is, move forward. Just how she chased him back then and became friends with him, she needs to do the same again. But this time, she doesn't want to befriend him but what she has to do is to make him fall for her.
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