Chapter 44

Chapter 44

It was true that he did something wrong to her. It was also true that it was an unforgivable mistake. Nevertheless, didn’t he apologize several times? Still, she seemed unwilling to accept it. This treatment was not fair.

…If he bent his pride and apologized to this extent, shouldn’t she pretend to accept it at the very least? Eric couldn’t get over his impatience and had another selfish thought.

“You must take a rest. That’s great.”

Eric couldn’t contain his emotions of the moment and was sarcastic.

“Do you want me to follow the advice on a disease you didn’t even tell me its name?”

“Honey.”

“I mean, you can at least tell me a little bit about where the pain is and how to make you feel better, right? Thuogh why do you keep hiding it? It was as if you never intended to ever let me know!”

“Because you don’t like it when I’m sick.”

Chloe replied calmly to him, who was agitated. Eric’s eyes trembled.

“I don’t like it. I never did… I’m just worried.”

“You’re always busy, and you don’t want to worry about me being sick. Aren’t you annoyed because I’m sick while you’re still busy? It must be too troublesome for you to pay attention to me.”

“How could you say that…”

Eric tilted his head back with a pale complexion before he thought about it.

…Was he like that? Was it true that he didn’t like Chloe being sick?

He couldn’t completely deny that remark because deep in his heart, he was annoyed by her illness. He didn’t like seeing Chloe sick. While the reason for his dislike wasn’t clear, he didn’t like it anyway and was annoyed. He didn’t want her to get sick.

So, he couldn’t deny Chloe’s words.

Instead, he turned his head and swept his face down with his hand.

“You seem very sensitive. Any further conversation will be useless.”

Eric got up.

It was a fruitless conversation though he thought it was fortunate they didn’t fight, and he tried to yield. However, it was Chloe’s thin voice that caught him.

“I want to ask you something.”

Chloe said while clutching the blanket tightly.

“…Why did you tell my mother that our divorce will not happen?”

At first, she thought Eric was simply saying that to cover up the situation. Yet, he seemed serious when he said he wouldn’t divorce her after she thought about it again even though he was already agreed on it!

“Are you not going to divorce me? Did you lie to me…?”

Eric hesitated to answer but soon nodded in affirmation.

“That’s right. I do not intend to divorce you.”

“…Why?”

Chloe asked and clenched the blanket even more tightly.

“For what reason… why are you doing this when you don’t even love me? Why you don’t let me go? Why…? Why won’t you divorce me?”

“Do I have to be honest?”

“You should be honest, as much as you accused me of being a liar. Because I didn’t lie to you.”

While he hesitated for a moment, Chloe thought as she looked at Eric, who hesitated like that, how nice it would be if he confessed his love at this moment.

If so, all her angry feelings towards him until now would melt like snow, and a new love for him would bloom like a spring haze… Chloe was filled with the hope she had been longing for. Even though she had hoped, her hopes never came true as always.

“I can’t lose what I have.”

The words that returned were instead his possessive desire that was completely different from her expectation and something she had never imagined.

“I never intend to let go of what’s in my hand. That’s all.”

Chloe’s jaw trembled.

Although she didn’t want to… she truly didn’t mean to do this, she stared at Eric with a contempt-filled gaze.

“…Is that why you don’t want to divorce me?”

“That’s right.”

“So, there’s no love for me among them.”

Eric had gotten to the point where he was exhausted with Chloe, who kept talking about love. He gazed at Chloe as if he was saying, ‘there you go again,’ and she noticed it at once. That was right. He was tired of her.

Looking down at her scrawny hand, she was so skinny that she couldn’t find any flesh.

Chloe bit her lower lip tightly.

“Even if I’m dying in your grasp… Will you still not let me go?”

Eric paused for a moment and took a deep breath. He was so bewildered by her bad complexion and the corresponding words, and he went closer and held her arm. Her arm was so thin that he could hold it with one hand.

“Why did you… say that?”

He asked while loosening the hand that was holding her arm.

“Chloe, tell me. Where and how it hurts.”

She suddenly remembered her doctor’s words in the North.

“The Madam’s heart is slowly failing.”

“Two years.”

“I’m very sorry about this, Madam, but I have to let you know that you only have two years left.”

Excluding the time she spent here, she could survive for a year and a half more. Chloe wanted to spend the rest of her time in happiness and joy. She didn’t want to spend each day full of pain and sorrow like now.

Making a firm resolution once again, she was determined to divorce Eric.

“It’s because of you…”

So, she opened her mouth in a shaper and colder voice.

“You’re hurting me.”

Eric’s eyes shook and lost their focus. He gazed at her with empty eyes.

Seeing that, Chloe could feel her chest throb and hurt. Nonetheless, she couldn’t weaken her resolute. It was because if she stepped back from here, everything would be repeated from the beginning again.

She clenched her teeth and continued.

“So, we have to divorce.”

“Chloe.”

“If you don’t want to divorce me, I’ll leave the house.”

“Are you going to go through this snow?”

“I think there must be a place where I can take care of myself.”

“It sounds naive.”

As Eric replied firmly, she was also adamant about her choice. He soon thought of something as he looked at Chloe’s blue eyes, the only thing that still shined on her emaciated face.

‘…Ah, it’s irreversible.’

He was angry when she made this decision. Why? Why was Chloe doing this…?

“I tried.”

Eric spoke and gave strength to each word.

“I tried my best to be a kind husband to you, I tried to be a considerate husband who tried to resolve the misunderstanding between you and the Duchess, and I tried to be a good husband who reflects on his mistakes…”

He sighed deeply and wiped his face with his palm.

“Still, you’re not satisfied with anything.”

That was right.

She wasn’t satisfied with any of his efforts. Chloe had many wishes, and he was unable to satisfy them. Perhaps, they were not the right person for each other, or maybe, their lives were different in the first place. After all, they were living different lives that they didn’t understand or know each other at all…

Eric closed his eyes tightly and let out another deep sigh.

“…Okay. All right.”

She spoke with sincerity this time.

“If you say so.”

Slowly lifting his eyelids, he stared into her eyes again. The emotions in Chloe’s eyes were hard to guess, although the only thing certain was the fact that she wanted to divorce him.

He was tired now. Eric didn’t want to argue with her anymore.

“I will divorce you.”

Thus, he said something that ended their relationship.

Afterward, Chloe suffered from fever again, but Eric didn’t visit her.

03. Sospirando

Only after Chloe recovered her body and could walk around the room did she recollect her conversation with Eric.

A week had passed.

She slowly closed her eyes as she recalled her vague memories. Eric said he would divorce her…

This time, it didn’t seem like he was lying. He was truly sincere when he said that. She could be so sure of this because he had never visited her again, even though he would have already known that she had recovered from the doctor.

Chloe thought she could end her relationship with him this time.

It was lamentable, but it was also the right thing to do. In the first place, the relationship between her and Eric was already irrevocably distant. She also had a similar idea with Eric — she thought they were totally incompatible and different, and that they didn’t coincide at all.

Therefore, it would be formidable to get back into a normal relationship with him no matter how hard she tried.