Chapter 53

“Do I appear to be a person who moves only if there is a reason and a relationship of interest?”

Even though Chloe didn’t answer, he knew that her silence was in agreement with his question.

Eric ruffled his bangs wildly. He admitted it… the reason he refused the divorce the first time was because he did not want to lose what he had. What if he told her the truth? Would she accept it, or would she get angry like last time?

Even without thinking deeply, Eric seemed to know the answer. So, he decided to hide his reasons. Instead of giving reasons, he chose to lie.

“It’s about trying to do what you call love.”

Chloe stopped breathing. She unconsciously shook her head, she couldn’t believe what she heard though Eric didn’t back down.

“Like I said, I don’t know what love feels like. If you hadn’t mentioned it all the time by my side, love might have been a feeling that had nothing to do with my life. But now it’s different. Thanks to you, I know what love feels like.”

He took a calm breath.

“It means that I will try to love you even now.”

As soon as he said these words, Eric could feel the pain in his chest getting better. He took Chloe’s hand with a lighter face.

“Are you going to reject this effort?”

She gazed down at the hand held by Eric.

‘…I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it.’

When she looked at all the many actions Eric had shown her so far… She couldn’t believe it. Chloe didn’t believe it.

As she slowly raised her gaze, she peeked into the sincerity in Eric’s hollow eyes, staring into his unshakable eyes. Could she really be loved, Eric? This was something she’d been waiting for for a long time… For a really, really long time.

For a long time, she had longed for his love, yet the result was always the same…

A tragic abandonment and crushing hope.

In the process, Chloe gradually learned to give up. Giving up, giving up, giving up again… She had now reached a point where she could no longer hold hope.

…But, love? Eric, and her?

It didn’t feel real. Everything Eric said seemed to be a lie, and she even thought he had other plans. Oh, what kind of ugly prejudice was this? As a wife, it was only natural that she should trust her husband, but still, Chloe did not trust him.

Placing her hand on the back of Eric’s, she could feel his warm body temperature.

What if this body temperature were the temperature of the heart? Then, she could trust everything he said. Nonetheless, Chloe knew that she shouldn’t take everything he said as the truth. If she took everything he says to her heart, she would end up hurting herself…

Moreover, she would die soon. It was extremely painful to have a new hope of love in the face of self-evident death… Love was useless in the face of death. She didn’t want to be loved, and she didn’t want to love.

Chloe smiled blankly and grabbed Eric’s hand a little tighter.

“I…”

She spoke hesitantly between sighs.

“It’s okay.”

Eric’s eyes twinkled. Observing the clear agitation, she slowly shook her head.

“You don’t have to love me.”

“….”

He spread his hands wide, then curled them.

…Why?

Wasn’t she the one who wanted his love? So, he said he would give her that love. So, even though he says that, why the hell? Eric was embarrassed and angry at the same time because he never expected Chloe to act like this. It felt like his own heart had been completely ignored.

At first, he didn’t even know what his heart was.

“You asked me to love you.”

Eric closed his eyes as if trying to contain his anger and muttered.

“Now that I say I’ll love you, you don’t want it.”

“That…”

“What do you want?”

As he slowly opened his eyes, Chloe stared intently into his gray eyes before retracing her inner desires.

She was soon able to draw a conclusion.

“I don’t want anything.”

She uttered with a lighter smile on her lips.

“Really. Now, there is nothing I want.”

If it was in the past, she might have said that she wanted to get Eric’s love. However, she was now tired. The rest of her life was too short for her to hold onto an unchanging love, which she never knew how to change, and she no longer wanted to be swayed by insecurities.

Perhaps, she had become detached, unlike Eric, who actually started to burn with fire.

“You really…!”

Eric exhaled a frustrated breath, but when he saw Chloe being ill, he could barely contain his anger.

How many times has he held back his anger just today? Eric really had the thought that, as she said, they were not in a relationship, and it was a relationship that should not be continued.

Still, that wasn’t the case with them.

He had no intention of divorcing her. First, he had no intention of letting her go once it had been in his hands, and secondly, he had no intention of getting involved in the betting game of the nobles.

Therefore, the Aslan couple’s relationship had to be healthy… whether it was right or not.

“For now, focus on recovering your body. No matter what I say right now, I don’t think it will be a conversation.”

“I have said enough.”

“Are you saying you want to separate from me?”

When Chloe nodded his head without thinking, he got to the point where he couldn’t stand his anger any longer, so he jumped up.

He was annoyed. At the same time, his heart ached as something came up and irritated his throat.

What this feeling was, Eric had no idea what it was, so he was even more upset. As he was engulfed in his emotions and suffered, he suddenly wondered about Chloe’s heart. Did she still love him? Or was she acting this way because she didn’t love him anymore…?

He was torn between the desire to ask her and the resignation not to ask. But, as always, he was ahead of his desires, and he wasn’t mature enough to capture his rising emotions.

“You…”

He stood up and looked down at Chloe.

“Do you love me?”

Her parched lips twisted for a moment. Chloe bit her lower lip as if in deep thought and lowered her gaze.

How long has it passed? She grabbed her chin, clasping her hands as if she was making a vow.

“Yes.”

Eric let out a breath of relief unknowingly.

Relief? Yes. He was reassured about Chloe’s love for him!

Eric didn’t know what kind of feeling this relief was coming from, but he knew one thing… The fact that his frozen heart was melting with just one word from Chloe!

He took a deep breath and ruffled his hair. It was Chloe’s following words that made his hand stop.

“I loved you.”

“….”

Eric could not have known that her words were in the past tense. The moment he listened to it, he felt his world freeze. His heart, which had been warm, became cold again. At the same time, a corner of his chest tightened as if it had been pierced.

Not knowing what more to say here and didn’t want to know, Eric ran out of the room.

Anguish enveloped him.

Eric summarized his thoughts.

He was deeply hurt when Chloe said she didn’t love him anymore, but he never knew why he was hurt. So, he was immersed in thought for several days and was not able to say anything. Still, it was frustrating because he found no answer.

“What is love, Daniel?”

He muttered his words. Daniel, who was rummaging through the papers next to him, replied strangely.

“Does anyone know that?”

Eric looked at him as if he was wondering what that meant. Daniel continued to speak, still keeping his eyes fixed on the papers.

“Love is a feeling that no one knows in the first place. How many people know love? You fall in love just because you vaguely feel that you love that person.”

“So, what does that vague feeling mean?”

“It varies from person to person.”

Saying so, Daniel shrugged his shoulders.

“For me, the feeling came at first sight. The only one I could see among many people. The moment our eyes met, I could get the feeling that I had it all.”

He continued, recalling a feeling that had already faded after a long time. Then, as if he was about to get immersed in nostalgia, he hurriedly turned the topic to Eric.

“How was it, Your Excellency?”

“What do you mean?”

“The first time you saw Madam, how was it?”

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