Chapter 386 - Couple (of) Pointers

The last time I think I walked through these automatic sliding doors, felt the gust of cool filtered air breezing down my hair, was probably with my first official date with Ash. 

Oh yes, our date… racing on bumper cars, and having dinner with the mob. Felt so long ago now looking back, and as bizarre as it sounds, it was probably the least bizarre thing to ever happen to me especially when accounting for what other hijinks I've been intrinsically involved with immediately right after.

Being here with Ash, simply just browsing through endless catalogs of stuff, and answering her curiosity-coated questions about those said stuff was like a huge blast to the past where it was just her and I together. Fun times, those times…

That's actually one of the only things that haven't changed between the then and the now - Ash's endless fascination and awe of the modern world's vast array of commodities. 

Still so awfully keen to be the one who'd call for the elevator with a push of a button. Scouring through the shelves of every outlet we visit trying to surmise each item's intended purpose, and always smiling satisfied every time I'd affirm her right. 

Then every so often, her focus would go astray towards the nearest window, and she'd just silently watch the ever-constant ebb and flow of the city roads until I would eventually call out to her before she could stray any further all the way to the lost and found booth.

All in all, it was shaping out to be a pretty wholesome, relaxing time in each other's company. But of course, it couldn't be just that, can it? Every once in a while, like a bulldozer wreaking havoc in the world's most silent library, there that braided devil would chime in with her light blue-white dress to remind me that there's a reason why three was a crowd.

And Sammy was a very rowdy number three.

"It's just a figurine, basically just molded plastic!" Sammy exclaimed to the poor cashier who was at his wit's end already. "Is it really, really worth that four hundred dollar price tag?" 

Like one out of three times, we'd leave an outlet empty-handed because my little sister apparently can't grasp the concept that city life might just be a tad bit more demanding of your wallet's content than life out in the county.

"Hey, um, question," She pulled me aside at one point, away from the public's eye, cameras too. "Does it still count as shoplifting if somehow, inexplicably, out of thin air, the things I need just magically, spontaneously appear inside my bag? I didn't steal it, right?"

I'm telling you, society's vicious. Not even a full two days in, and this city's iron grip was about to corrupt my diligent little sister into a full-time crook right here and now. 

If anything at least, it was the perfect segue into introducing her to a certain demoness working as a detective, and painted an image in her head of a boogeywoman that would not at all hesitate to bring out the cuffs at the slightest whiff of magic being used with ill intent… which wasn't exactly far from the truth.

Needless to say, Sammy sobered up to the straight and narrow really quick after that.

"Seriously, why, why is everything so expensive around here?" She wondered out loud for the umpteenth time, as she reluctantly ate her serving of ice cream for which she also just as reluctantly forked over the dollars for. "And why won't you treat me?! It's just ice cream! Aren't you supposed to be my brother?" 

It's precisely because I am her brother that I didn't treat her. If you're gonna go for a triple-scoop, chocolate sprinkled, marshmallow topping ultra-deluxe choice, then that's your own personal road to bankruptcy to walk on, not mine. Ash and I are just fine with a scoop of vanilla, thank you.

Once in a while, when she's not over groaning over her dwindling dollars in the little pack she had slung over her shoulders, she'd be hovering like a bee around Ash, filling her wriggling, heeding ears with her incessant buzzing. 

"How come you two aren't even holding hands with each other?" I caught Sammy asking her in one instance. "You love him, don't you? He loves you, doesn't he? Surely in your world, loving couples holding hands is a custom there too right?" 

"Why, yes, of course, it is," Ash said, too nice, and way too innocent, to not go without a reply. 

"Then what are you waiting for?" Sammy asked, flashing a smile that was all too well-practiced. "Oh no, I get it - you don't like his sweaty hands, right? Yuck, I know right? I can understand that."

"No, no, that is truly not the case, you misunderstand!" Ash spoke at once, trying to keep her composure. "Master's hands are warm, soft… supple. They're very big and yet so very gentle when holding mine. So really, it is not a matter of reluctance to which I abstained myself from doing as you suggest."

"That so, huh?" Sammy said in a dull baritone that didn't sound too pleased hearing what she heard from her. "Still though, if you were a real couple, you'd have no problems holding hands unless you aren't actually - "

Before any more could be said, I promptly inserted myself between them, wedging them apart, and even more promptly, took Ash's hand into my own. 

"Next on the list is painting supplies for your artist friend, yeah?" I casually said to a slightly miffed Sammy. "To the fifth floor we go now, keep up."

However, if I thought that enough to keep this buzzing bee at bay, then clearly I was more of a fool than I ever thought I was. 

An escalator ride or two later, Sammy was back at it again… noticing while I was a distance away, Ash practicing her texting skills on her phone.

"Your wallpaper," She muttered.

Ash paused, looked up, and glanced over at the pair of intrusive blue eyes peering over at her side. "My - pardon?" 

"Your wallpaper, it's blank," Sammy swiped over to the home screen. "Why don't you have it set to anything else? Like a picture of you two together, for example?"

All these talks about settings, pictures, and wallpapers proved too much for poor Ash. "Pictures, as in… portraits, you mean? I… I fear I've no picture at hand, unfortunately."

"No!" Sammy feigned shock, pouncing on her chance, hands on her face looking like that bald guy screaming painting or something. "You don't have a single picture? Not even one that's just of him?! Oh, that's simply no good! Y'know in this era, it's basically a requirement that you must have a photo of you two together otherwise, it isn't official at all. I mean, can you say you really love someone without even having a memento affirming that you do? Think about it." 

Upon hearing that, Ash's expression became slightly troubled, contrasting starkly with the smarmy smile right beside her. 

"Yep, I guess… unless you figure out how to accomplish that, I'm afraid there's no way you can truly call him your - "

Ash's shutter click was quite loud. Didn't realize the flash was on too. Nearly blinded myself staring up at the camera lens, but thankfully not blind enough to be unable to navigate into her settings and change the wallpaper in record time.

When I gave Ash her phone back, now the home screen showed an image of me giving my best smile, while Ash was turning towards me mildly surprise, having her phone whisked away from her so suddenly… and somewhere in like the corner there, you can see a little smudge of blue and white behind us, frowning silently away in the background.

"There we go," I said, dusting my hands clean of a sabotage foiled. "A memento." 

Sammy folded her arms, brushing past me with her nose in the air, as she entered the art and crafts store, muttering under a simmering breath, "Not even a good one, even."

She says that, and yet was Ash, slowly coming up from behind,  both hands as if treating her phone as the most fragile thing in existence, unable to at all tear her gaze away from the display. 

"Master…" She called out to me, glancing up at me with a tender expression, her ears squirming uncontrollably and poking through the hood of her jacket. "May you teach me how to do as you just did? I, I wish to take more… mementos, if it's not too much trouble." 

Smile like that, how could I say no? Might as well show her how while we wait outside for Sammy to be done haggling this poor outlet's cashier. 

It didn't take too long before Ash knew the correct button to press, and the proper way to take a picture. In fact, I wager she can even go pro with steady hands like hers - she swayed seamlessly from left to right no different than if it was set on a tripod.

For a while, I just took a step back and watched her from behind like a proud master watching his student excel, and then, abruptly from out of the blue - 

"Is that… Lady Amanda over there?" 

Ash glanced back at me, and I strode forward over her shoulder, looking through the camera display myself. 

"Oh," I swallowed the air. "Yes, it is." 

That bright bobble of yellow hair drifting through aisles and shelves was not something you could miss unless you were really blind. Normally, bumping into her was not a cause for any concern, and truly it wouldn't be… if only she wasn't browsing in the same store as we were, and also wasn't about to be heading into an imminent head-on collision with Sammy in the next aisle over.

Valiantly, I tried taking a step forward. Hopelessly, I attempted to defy the cruel strings of fate, yet alas… all was in vain. 

Sammy froze at the spot, catching sight of her. Amanda did too, recognizing her face in an instant from all the photos she made me show of her. 

Almost as if of one mind, they both immediately spun their heads to the store window - and there I was, resigning myself to fate's dastardly whims, waving back at them, ready to die.

Amanda was staring back at me wide-eyed, petrified, whilst Sammy was fidgeting, bursting at the seams with glee. Glee for what though, I really do not want to know.

Well, well, this is gonna be a fun time…