Chapter 436 - Through The Looking Glass

The bathroom had already been occupied by the time we got there, so for a good solid minute, we were just shuffling awkwardly outside in the narrow corridor 'cause I refused to look for another one. This soul-sucker had already put me into enough distress walking into random compartments, going, "Toilet?".

Then that awkwardness made a great resurgence when the guy inside finally opened the door only for Harry to immediately impel him back in by charging straight forward without giving the poor bastard right of way first, then reaching a peak, when the guy made eye contact with me as he befuddling squeezed his way out, no doubt asking why two grown men just entered the stall together.

"Make it quick, and that's not a request," I said, snapping the lock shut, and turning my eyes immediately to the country view outside the window for some stress relief. 

Would have loved nothing more than to leave him to it, then from my peripheral view, I saw him attempting to pull down his entire pants, instead of y'know… the bloody zipper. 

"The belt is tight," He waddled around to face me, pants tight on his thighs, and his boxers peeking out. "How do you use this?"

"Why do you have to sit?" I asked, simultaneously taking in the sight of and also trying to scrub it clean from my mind. "Just aim and shoot." 

"Aim and shoot?" 

With that tone, with that clueless look, alright. "She didn't teach you…"

"Shoot what?" He asked cheerily.

I sighed, knowing already the inevitable of the task before me, and resigning myself to fate, dove right into the down and dirty. "I'm never having kids…"

Let's not ever mention what happened next, I'm more than happy to move on, which I will promptly do so… in summary, mission accomplished. He got his belt unbuckled, his pants around his ankles, and his ass on the toilet seat. 

Now if he'd only stop staring at me as he does his business, I'd be a happy caretaker. I'm just trying to enjoy the goddamn view outside the window here… and that smile, why was he always smiling, and why always in that way? Not happy, not provocate, just… downright sinister. 

"You never told me your name, so I don't know - "

"Stop talking," I interrupted. "I don't want to talk." 

"Why not?" 

God, learn to read a room… and please learn how quick. 

I kept my mouth shut, gluing my eyes to the afternoon sky. If I didn't engage him, he'd stop engaging me. That's the idea, at least. 

"You're frowning, that means you're upset, right? Did I do something wrong?" 

What a shitty idea it turned out to be.

"If my existence makes you upset, then you already know how to make yourself happy again," He said. "But instead, you're going to stay upset, aren't you?" 

Ignore him, just keep ignoring him.

"I don't know how long it'll take for me to fully consume this person's soul, but I think it'll be pretty soon… and once that happens, you'll be even more upset, won't you?" 

What a long piss, how big is this bastard's bladder, my God…

"I never told anybody this, but that's because nobody asked, but I think you'd like to know… this piece of me, what I am… well, I'm here now more than ever." 

I felt something heavy plunge somewhere inside hard. Instinct shifted my gaze, and when I turned to look at him, I was seeing someone different, that shift of expression, the way he stared back… not a stranger, but certainly not a friend either.

"Memories, bits and pieces, it's funneling in," Harry went on to explain unprompted. "I remember my mother. She was my first memory. I remember her name was Julia.  I remember I loved her, I remember how that felt… and I remember when she died saving me… and I remember that moment the most because… it was actually your mother that killed her when she came to our village and destroyed it." 

Slowly, subtly, silently, I slinked a hand into my pocket, feeling as the vial slithered between my fingers. 

"If Jay… if the whole of me knew that I was talking to her son right now… I don't even know how I'd respond," Suddenly, he began to stare at me differently than all other instances, like he was truly seeing me for the first time. "Would I be angry? Would I be sad? Would I want to kill you right away? Or would I choose to spare you? Maybe I'd try to convince you instead."

I couldn't help myself, without thinking it through at all, I spoke, "Convince me to do what?"

Harry didn't answer me, he blinked, and just like that, he broke his stare, looking, whirling around, trying to find the handle, never once realizing it was the push type of toilet.

Cautiously, I crept my way over, a hand still in my pocket, and stood as far back as I could, before leaning over and flushing it for him. But he didn't get up. Even when I leaned back, gave him plenty of space to maneuver, he stayed on the seat, pants unworn, just peering at the landscape outside whizzing on by. 

"Hey," I began, then - 

"I don't think you should ask her for help," He snapped his eyes at me again, his smile unchanging. "I do not think it is a good idea." 

"Didn't ask," I said. "Put your pants on." 

"If you want to get rid of me, you should just kill me now. I do not want to meet her. I do not want her to touch me." 

"She's not touching you, because you're not you," I hissed, irritated now. "This body isn't yours, you just crept inside it so stop talking like it is."

"She is evil."

"And so are you!" I jutted my finger at him. "Look, I don't care what - !"

"You don't care…" He cut me off, suddenly rising from his seat, the smile on his face fading slightly. "You don't care. That she's evil, that she's killed millions, billions, that she's the reason an entire realm is gone, you don't care at all, really?"

I could hear him now more than ever, through Harry's voice, through Harry's expression, Jay staring right back at me through the emptiness of his gaze. 

"Or is it, that you've chosen not to care? I think, it makes you feel better, doesn't it? What… what do you call it? The detective said it once it's, ah - ignorance is bliss. I don't think I agree with that. To me, it's wrong to ignore it. You shouldn't ignore it. You should know. You're asking for her aid, so you have the obligations to know just who you're really asking it from." 

Then before I could say anything, do anything - he clumsily waddled about, swiping out a long piece of toilet paper from the roll. Before my eyes, I saw him clamp his teeth, tearing the skin off his bottom lip, drawing blood, and that's when I moved - the vial no longer in my pocket.

Harry saw me, saw the swirl of red in my hands, and tried to back away, but forgetting the chain of fabric around his ankles, instead fell back onto the toilet. I took my chance then, and started to unscrew the vial.

And that's when he shouted, and for the first time, I heard him plead. "I am not trying to hurt you! I will not hurt you, I cannot hurt you! Please! I just want to show you! Please allow me to show you." 

The blood started to ooze and trickle down his chin, and seeing the toilet paper in his hand. It didn't take much to put two and two together.

"You know how to do magic…" I said, continuing to unscrew the cap. "Like hell I'm going to - "

"Harmless! I promise!"

"I don't care!" I tried to grab the roll, and he shrank back.

"You must care!" He shouted, letting the blood fall onto a finger, and I couldn't stop him, he scribbled hastily onto the ply, soaking it with red. "You are simply obligated to…"

Or maybe perhaps, I chose not to stop him. Maybe inside, I wanted to know. I wanted to care.

He stopped scribbling, and the next thing I knew, the entire room was plunged into darkness. A red darkness. As far as I knew, from the gap in the door that led outside… it wasn't limited to just this room either.

I felt my mouth go dry. "What did you - ?"

"Look out the window," Harry said, trying to wipe the blood from his chin, but instead smearing more onto his skin. "See for yourself just what kind of help you can expect."

From where I was standing, it was barely possible to even make out anything outside - it was just a blur of red as the train kept speeding ever onwards, so like he said, I slowly crept closer to the glass pane, seeing the trepidation in my reflection staring back at me.

At first, it was still only a blur… but then it eventually cleared, and all was finally clear. The trees had gone, the hills no longer there, and the clear afternoon sky had completely disappeared. 

There was just red… red and fire, scorching the skies, the earth, the view. The train kept moving, and more kept being unveiled. 

I saw the land cracked, chasms of darkness where everything above would fall and be swallowed by the abyss. In the distance, I saw a castle, I saw a kingdom, crumbling in a mist of dust and blood. I could hear the cries, the wails. Endless bodies, a sea of corpses, in a blur whizzing by us, and it wouldn't stop, the dead, they didn't dwindle, just multiplied… tenfold… hundredfold, piling high like hills beside the track.

"The final days," Harry said, back again to his normal, calm self. "This wasn't the end yet. This was Kronocia, as I remembered it. Before I left it to its fate."

Wordlessly, I clicked open the lock, stumbled outside, only to see more - the corridor windows, casting shadows all over - malformed creatures, wretched beings - their outlines painting the halls of the train. And the screams, the wails, they wouldn't stop. 

"Nothing to be done, nobody to save us. I don't remember yet how I survived everything, but I know I survived alone. I know no one else I love made it. Only me. And I couldn't do anything about it."

I could hear people running, I could hear them begging to be saved, I heard their cries of agony, and I heard their deaths - the squelch of flesh, the crack of bones.

And then I heard the laughter, her laughter - resounding above it all. Mom…

"This is who you're going to bring me to," Harry said, following after me outside, looming under the doorway. "The person you're asking for help, the person you think would save this man. Now that you've seen this, do you really think someone who could do this, would ever be able to save anything?" 

Quietly, I just stood there, taking in everything, the world beyond this train, the horrors I've been blind to, the story I chose not to let unfold. 

"Everything she touches, she kills, she destroys, she makes suffer," He continued. "She has not changed. She would never have changed. This is her, this is how she is. Well? Do you still think asking for her help is a good idea? Do you still… you still… s-still…"

Harry's words began to slur, and his eyes slowly began to droop, a second after his knees buckled - and I caught him before he fell, nearly dropping the opened vial in my hand as I did.

When he fell, that's when the red had gone, the screams disappearing, and out the window, shone the light of a bright afternoon sky once more. 

For a moment, I just stood there, frozen, apart from keeping Harry upright. I was glued to the view… the lush greens in the endless plains, the clouded peaks of the distant mountains. 

How beautiful, peaceful they were here.

How beautiful, peaceful they had to be there… except now, no longer… never any longer… gone.

And all she could do was laugh.

Sammy, was this… when she dreamt, was this what she saw? Every night, did she have to see this? Did she have to hear that laugh profoundly resound in her head all the ltime? If so…

Then now I can understand her more than I ever did before.

As for Jay…

Yeah, I think I could too…