Chapter 448 - Retrying Reunions

Our family had a routine, a schedule we'd follow each and every day that starts the moment we opened our eyes, much like everyone else on the planet. Usually, I'd be a part of it too, but I've already strayed too far from what's considered the status-quo to even keep up with it now. 

One by one, I could see and hear the schedule being adhered to by everyone else inside the house. The clamoring in the kitchen, the creaking of the floorboards. By now, as well, I rightly should be making my way to the sheep pen, and letting them all out to graze. 

Instead, I lingered there still, exploring the nippy air around my house with searching hands. My joints sore, my arms heavy, feeling and failing to even dig an inch through the rippling, shifting invisible wall in front of me. 

I wasn't sure just where exactly I was going wrong, I could feel myself exerting my magic - I was on the brink of exhaustion here - but it's just, where was it even going? Nothing I did to the barrier had any visible or glaring effect… 

Now, I could simply chalk up my continued failure to my inexperience, but really, I think a lack of focus was playing a big role here in my lack of any headway. I try not to be, I tell myself that I'm more focused than any cultivating monk out there, but how the hell could that be when both my eyes and mind kept drifting away elsewhere? It's like just when I think I've gained a grasp, I let the feeling slip between my fingers. 

It's because she's here, wasn't it? 'Cause she's watching me non-stop… like stage fright, but I don't think cultivating monks get stage fright. 

Ash, her presence, her figure, so ridiculously hard to ignore… keeping so close to me, while also simultaneously keeping a fair distance from me. I could feel the intensity of her stare on me, but the moment I try and look back, her bright green eyes would spontaneously find the dirt, or the trees, hell, or even the skies suddenly so fascinating to stare at.

So… she's twitchy, she's sensitive, and practically turns into a panicked deer in headlights at my slightest touch. Any guesses why, anyone? Well, l think I got an idea, I've assembled all the puzzle pieces and I've never seen a clearer picture. Except… I don't think this was something she'd felt ready to share just yet. Huge fucking elephant in the room right here, but if she doesn't see it, then hell, neither could I. Let's leave it at there for now. 

"Master," Suddenly, she called out, just as I was prepping for another attempt. I whirled around and saw her stare tilted slightly upwards. "It seems you may have an audience before you…" 

I followed her eyes - and Sammy's blinds, usually kept shut, were parted wide open. Normally, as per everyday schedule, I wouldn't see her up for at least another hour or two, and yet, there she was… tousled brown hair, bleary blue eyes, staring down at me from her bedroom window. 

No doubt, she must have heard the commotion from yesterday evening. There's no way that she didn't. If she hadn't, I'm sure she would have a more confused expression on her face as to why I was flailing my arms around for no discernible reason.

I waved at her, but she didn't wave back… and the next thing I knew, she drew herself away from sight. Someone's a little grumpy, I guess. 

Slowly, I dropped my gaze, only then to realize that Sammy wasn't the only one in the audience. The kitchen window, silent, smiling, Mom's tender stare through glass panes… when I caught her eye, she smiled even more and waved. 

I didn't wave back.

Shortly after, The front door swung open, and a large, lumbering figure emerged from within - Dad. If there was one person here I could count on to stick to schedule, it was him… and judging by his attire, he's off to work on the fields it seems.

He saw me, saw Ash too. I was too busy trying to regain my focus to pay any attention, and so when I heard the crunch of dirt close by, it briefly left my mind that he was even around… until he was already looming above me.

Last night, he was awfully quick to leave once we arrived. He knew what was going to happen, didn't he? Obviously, he must have known about the barrier, and he definitely knew what would have happened if Harry had walked through… and yet he never bothered to even warn me about it at all. 

Meaning to say, Irene was right all along. Dad only agreed to placate me, he had no intentions of actually helping me. Fine, sure… he could have just told me outright… But I guess, he already did, didn't he? I just refused to hear him.

Still, he didn't have to pretend, and the fact that he had to, the fact that he even thought to… I trusted him too…

For a short while he stood there close, unmoving, steady unblinking eyes, just watching. I pretended he wasn't there, ignoring him, which was working quite alright honestly… until he upped his presence with a noise - his voice.

"You shouldn't waste so much of yourself so early," He said, slowly shuffling beside me. "It's not inefficient." 

I didn't say anything, I kept pretending - keeping my hands steady in front of me, wanting to show no weakness, despite how much they were trembling. 

"The key is consistency," Dad continued, looking to where my fingers were spread out, wavering. "A steady uninterrupted flow. Not too little, not too much, you must keep and channel a fine balance. That's how you will - "

"I know already," I flexed my fingers, and they steadied themselves, I steadied myself. "I figured that out five hours ago…" 

His expression blank, he slightly nodded his head. "By yourself?"

"Yes, by myself," I drearily responded. "Screw up enough times, you're bound to get something right…"

"But never that quick," He remarked, sounding more than his usual stoic self. "Anybody else… weeks, maybe. Months, definitely. But, hours? That's an impressive feat. Now all you need to do is refine the method, and eventually, you'll - "

"Oh, sorry, were you trying to help me just now?" I threw him a sharp look. "My bad, I couldn't tell at all."

Dad didn't bat an eye, his face frozen in that empty look. He was the polar opposite of Mom. Whereas she practically wore her heart on her sleeve, Dad took his and slammed it shut behind the thickest, tightest vault there ever was. 

But that doesn't mean he was outright made of stone, in some ways, in his own ways, he can be even more of an emotional person than Mom.

"I betrayed your trust," He paused, slanting his head slightly forward. "You have every right to be upset with me. You don't have to forgive me." 

"But I will," I said, feeling my weary arms droop. "Eventually, I will. There's no way I can stay mad at you forever. That's just how it is. But yeah, you're also right," then they finally dropped, my focus, my energy, I expended, crumbling to waste. "Right now, I'm not exactly in a forgiving mood. You, the both of you… it's like I don't even know who you both are anymore." 

"Given the circumstances, it was the simplest way," He explained. "What we did, tried to do, we were only doing what we thought was best for you." 

"Yeah, you always are, I know," I muttered, heaving heavily. "But has it ever occurred to you can't always be fucking right?" 

My knees were buckling, luckily, I managed to catch myself in time… and he almost did too, reaching out his hand, but I backed off far from his reach.

"Oh, no, if you're having a change of heart, it's kinda too little too late for that now," I continued to say, continued to heave. "You want to help, you want to know the best thing you could do for me now? Why don't you open the sheep pen for me? I haven't let them out yet." 

"Master…" 

Ash came closing in quickly to my side, as I continued to wobble unsteadily. If I fell, I wasn't sure what she'd even do given her current… condition. But I managed to catch myself in time again to never find out. 

Seeing that, seeing Ash… Dad's expression almost seemed to tighten again, so discreetly, that I briefly thought I imagined it - but it was there, that locked vault of his ever so slightly ajar. 

"The sheep pen…" then just as fast it appeared, the look on his face vanished, as he slowly nodded his head. "Hmm, I knew I was forgetting something."

"You're welcome," I strained a smile, forcing down nothing but air in my parched throat. "Now if you could just go now…. I'm a little busy, in case that's not clear." 

I say that, but instead, I ended up taking a breather, before collapsing to the ground entirely, pressing my palms into the dirt, and already I felt lighter, I could breathe easier.

"Perhaps it is best if you refrain from any more attempts, Master," Ash said, slowly getting on bent knees to level her gaze with mine. "To rejuvenate, to recoup, as you are, you are much too restless now. Doing anymore would be to your own impediment."

"The Elf is right," Dad said, his gaze suddenly avoiding both of ours. "Rest a few hours. Sleep, eat. Right now, Mom is cooking - "

"That's not her name," I interrupted, keeping my wavering voice as firm as I could, and I looked up, making absolutely sure he could hear and see me speak my next words. "She introduced herself already, didn't she? Did you forget? Her name, Dad. What's her name?"

I caught a flicker in his brow, evidently, he was taken aback. But compared to Ash's reaction, that was nothing. Her eyes grew wide in panic, quickly shaking her head at me almost in a frenzy. 

"It's no worry, Master, truly, I do not mind!" She frantically whispered. "So long as I'm with you, I do not mind the slightest however else others choose to refer to me by. Y-Your father, most of all, especially… he needn't have to - "

"Eshwlyn," came a familiar commanding voice, and Ash momentarily flinched, raising her startled eyes upwards and finding the bright piercing blue of Dad's own. "Can I count on you to watch over my son for me?" 

Ash blinked, losing her voice one second, and then finding it once more in the next. "I-Indeed. I always had and always will. Rest assured, your faith in me is not misplaced, Sir Le - "

"Michael," Dad said. "Call me Michael." 

She quickly bowed. "Sir Michael, then." 

"Just Michael, actually," He muttered, and then promptly shifted his eyes towards me again. "An Elf-Knight, your mother mentioned her before. Sorry, I don't have a good history with Elves. I'm not used to them yet." 

I nodded. "Yeah, I can see that." 

"But I'll try to be," He assured. "If it helps." 

"Help you or help me?" I questioned, raising a brow at him. 

"Both, I hope," He said quietly. "I trust her so long as you do too. You do, don't you?" 

"I love her," I said at once, then there again - came that quick tense flicker from before, and in the corner of my eye, I could see Ash's pale face suddenly gushing and glowing a beet bright red. 

"Oh," He nodded, stiffly at that. "Good for you. Both of you. Yes…"

Somehow I get the sense that he doesn't actually mean that.

"Remember, consistency is the key," He whirled around, stopping once he was directly facing the house. "Like a radio, you must be tuned to the same wavelength as the barrier. In this case, your magic, its resonance, its potency, must be equal to your mother's." 

There he goes again. Just many more times must I say it before he finally gets it? It's always like this, he just can't help himself… always doing what he thinks best.

"Equal Mom's, huh…" I scoured the air. "That's going to take a while, then." 

"Yes, it will, you will," He bluntly said. "But you're right, I can never be always right. I realize that now. But for all I know I'm still right. I still think I'm right for doing what I did…"

His words trailed away, and he raised his arm again - forward, outstretched, the very air itself as if pressing firmly against his hand, then, so suddenly, so instantly, the empty space around his fingers seem to disperse, it started small, then it began to widen as he pushed further inwards, a ripple in the invisible. 

Then it stopped - he stopped, pulling his fingers, his hand, his arm, back to his side, and the air became still once more. He did it, just like that, so effortlessly, so easily, he pierced through the barrier. 

My mouth hung open, I didn't even realize it myself until I tried to speak. "Right… the Hero to equal the Demon Goddess herself, of course you can dismantle it yourself if you wanted to." 

"Yes…" Dad nonchalantly replied. "There were a few times in the past where it was necessary."

My mouth continued to stay open. "So why don't you?" 

"Because I still think I'm right," He repeated again. "I still think we're right, that we still know what's best." 

"You aren't." 

"And maybe you're right, and maybe you aren't. You'll have to prove it first, don't you?" 

That's when, after so many instances, so many attempts to shoo him away, he finally did, striding toward in the direction of the sheep pen - as always, on his own accord, and not because I told him to. 

"But in this case, however…" He spoke, so far already, so distant already, that I barely heard him.. "I hope you'll prove us both wrong."