Chapter 470 - So Close, So Far

We've moved quite a ways away from the shoreline. Here, Ash was a blue-white smidgen unmoving in the distance, that's just how far we've traveled. 

"This is… far…" Adalia muttered, and I felt her body drifting just a little closer towards mine. "I have never… been… so far… before…"

"Nervous now?" I asked.

"No…" She looked around her, the clear skies above, the lush forest greens all around, and the deep blue reflecting every bit of her wonder as she starred. "Far is… nice…" 

"Good to hear." 

Y'know, it was rare to ever see her ever truly in the moment. When she talked, when she looked at you, it always felt as if you never had her full attention, maybe partially, maybe even less, like she was always busy tending to another thought, even when she really wasn't - that's just how she was. 

But now it was different. Her clouded eyes, like wisps of white smoke ever swirling, they weren't as misty as they once were before, within her gaze, I saw clouds, clear, still, as serene as the slightest ripple in the tides.

The shimmering lake reflected and refracted, the clear sky above shone, and she reflected and refracted along with it, her pale, white skin, glowed with light, with life. the darkness hid it, the shadows obscured it, and the light unveiled it and she was just simply… radiating. Her enthralling beauty, unadulterated. 

"You are… staring again…" 

Her gaze met mine, really met mine, closer, more present than ever before, and I just smiled.

"Yes, I am." 

Usually, alone, this was where I let my impulses reign free - I'd be diving, barrel-rolling, going laps until I couldn't anymore - but I took it slow and steady now, yet I still think it's better to loosen the reins a bit here, that's why inch by inch, I let my hands drift away from Adalia's grasp.

Something she almost readily noticed. 

"You are … letting… go…" I heard the quiet confusion in her voice say. 

"Yes, I am." 

Then I drifted a little further, retracting my arms slightly from her attempt to seize them back. 

"Don't… let go…" She said, a quiet confusion transforming into even quieter concern. "I need… to hold you… don't I…?" 

Adorable, but…

"Not forever," I refuted. "You're learning how to swim, remember?" 

More of her hair started to get submerged into the water, and the ripples in the lake began forming a little more, also a little rougher, I saw and heard a splash, and Adalia was starting to get a little too energetic for her own good. 

"Calm down, listen, listen - you've felt what I've been doing, you've been doing it too - just kick with your legs, let them do the work,' I told her, trying to calm her. "You struggle, you're just wasting energy. Try swimming towards me." 

Her face didn't express much, but the panic in her silence was very deafening, especially since she didn't actually seem to be listening. More ripples, more splashes, I think she even splashed back at herself at one point, and she was drifting even further away somehow.

I wasn't cruel, if I saw a red flag, if I caught sight of an actual genuine struggle, I'm swimming back to her so quick and so fast, freaking Poseidon is gonna have to step down from his position. 

"Far is… not so nice…" She muttered fast and doubling back on her words just as fast. "This is not… nice…" 

"Come on, Adalia, keep trying, you got it," I said, cheering her on, even shifting a little closer just to make it easier on her. "Lean forward, arms out, move, just move, and… oh…" 

She stopped struggling, no more kicking and flailing, and the tide reverted back to its serene, stagnant blue - how? Well, because Adalia wasn't swimming any longer. 

In fact, she was actually standing… on water.

Her soaking, wet body rippled droplets into the lake like rain, and yet her feet stood atop the same ripples like it was a platform of sorts. Then she proceeded to move, on air, her quiet calm somehow even more deafening. 

"Ah, Jesus…" I said with a sigh, watching her stroll ever closer towards me. "Literally…" 

And with one final step shattering a thousand-year faith, Adalia sank herself back down into the depths below, still in that quiet, calmly taking my hands back into hers. 

"Better…"  She said, clinging tighter. If anything, she actually looked quite pleased with herself. "This is… better…"

Me, however, not so much…

"Mmm, could be better," I said, narrowed-lipped. "We go again, except when I say use your legs, try not to take it too literally, alright?" 

Adalia didn't look too enthused about the prospect. "It's not… pleasant…" 

"We'll make it pleasant," I assured her.

"How…?" 

"You trust me, don't you?"

There was a pause before her answer, I felt her fingers moving in-between mine, then, "I… do…"  slowly, gradually, she began to pull away from her hold. "I trust… you…" 

In turn, I drifted myself further, beaming back at her. "We'll go a little easier, ready?" 

Still rippling, still splashing, she nodded. "Ready…" 

We moved about everywhere in our attempts, and without understating it, there were many attempts. It's no wonder I've never actually seen a vampire swimming much in media, they just weren't really good at it, it seems. Adalia took to the water like a fish that was out of it. I always ended up having to swim back to her to keep her afloat. 

But I didn't let that dissuade me, and I didn't let that dissuade her either. After a quick bout of encouragement, she was always eager to try again - and I don't know if it was just me, but it feels like her sluggishness had just suddenly dissipated.

Before she was always so tired, always so inert, to the point where even walking was a struggle, even with that magical sunscreen of hers… is one of the side effects having an extra spurt of adrenaline or something?

"Well?" I called out, watching her keep afloat her longest yet. "Is it still unpleasant?" 

She kicked, she swiped, and glistening, frolicking, she smiled. "It's… better…"

"You haven't reached me yet, though," I said, swimming a bit further back. "Think you got it this time?" 

"You are quite… far…" She muttered. "Very… far…" 

"Far is nice, right?" I extended my arms forward. "You said so yourself." 

There was an expression on her face. From afar, it didn't look like anything I recognized, but it was a nice expression anyway… those curling lips, those wide eyes… she should show it more. 

"Yes…" I heard her say, heaving, breathing, new life in her veins. "Far… is… very nice…" 

Slowly but surely, she spurred forward with practiced movements, there was still struggle, there was still strain, but there was also effort, there was also progress. 

She was getting close, closer than she's ever been, and I felt a sort of swelling pride. The finish line was also inches, the tip of her fingers grazing the finish line.

"Look at that! See you can do it!" I cheered, stretching my hand a slight inch forward, at ready to grab hers. "Twenty minutes, that's all you needed! Now you don't even need me to - " 

I gasped instead of speaking, a sharp hiss through my lips where words would have been. 

A jolt shot through my fingers, my wrist. It was a familiar jolt, a familiar pain, then I felt something dribbling between my fingers, something that wasn't water… red.

Blood dripped into the blue, staining it, murking it, then more began to drop, to muddle, from the bleeding gashes at the side of my fingers. 

Adalia grabbed me too fast, too eagerly, carelessly - she hadn't noticed, not yet - then she raised her eyes, that joyous, faintly smiling expression looking up at mine in satisfaction. 

"I… did it…" She whispered, breathing hard and heavy. "You said… it… and I did… it…" 

I tried to smile back, but it faltered, flickered, the stinging pain was just too great to ignore. 

Her smile then froze, that's when I think she felt it too, the deep red coating over hand, to her wrist. Her eyes slowly shifted over, then froze.

"Oh…" Another expression, another I've never seen, and one I never want to see again. "Oh… no… I…" 

In an instant, she lost her smile, her gaze, that mesmerizing glow about her. She was dimming, darkening… 

"I'm sorry… I… I forgot… I… did it… again… I… hurt you… again…" Her voice quivered, as did her blood-coated fingers. "I touched… you… I… I shouldn't… touch you… I will… hurt you… I always…"

She wanted to pull away, I could feel her trying to pull away, but I knew if she did now, she'll stay away, far away, and in that case… far wasn't nice. 

I gripped tighter, feeling the searing pain flare as I did, and more droplets fell into a cloud of red, and when she tried prying loose, I squeezed. I already let her go once, already made her stay away once… not again.

"Don't let go," I said, when her gaze looked up at me in question. "Stay, it's alright. I want you to stay." 

She shook her head frantically. "You are… bleeding… I made you… bleed…" 

"You didn't mean it," I shook my head back at her. "Accidents happen. It happens." 

"That's why… I mustn't… touch you…" She said, her eyes trembling too. "It will just… keep happening… I don't want… to hurt you…" 

"And if you do then, it'll also be okay then," I quickly said. "It'll always be okay, you didn't mean it, you couldn't help it. Why should that be your fault? Why should that mean you must stay away?" 

She looked a little lost, a little confused. "Doesn't it… hurt… you…?"

"It does," I said, as I felt another searing pain surging. "But if you let go, Adalia… it'll hurt me even more." 

"But…" 

"No buts, no more of this," I quickly interjected. "Why, why let go? Is it because you want to? Do you really want to stay away? Keep away? Do you really want that?" 

Adalia dropped her eyes, and after a moment, I felt her fingers cease their struggle. 

"No…" She said. "I want to… stay close… with you…"

"Then, don't let go," I replied, giving another smile, not forced, not strained this time. "You said it yourself, you need me to hold you, don't I? Otherwise you'll drown." "

Meekly, she tried to smile, she looked reluctant, unsure, but in spite all that, she still didn't let go. "Not… forever…"