Chapter 480 - A Changed Man

A little ruffled, a little disgruntled, I turned around to leave the barn, phone in hand and resisting the impulse to give it a good strong toss across the open plains. Not out of anger, I was barely even frustrated too - I don't know - after what I've heard, and after what I've said, I just needed something solid to throw around, I guess. 

I really thought Hayley was gonna call back.

Let's face it, Harry was kind of a piece of shit. But he was a piece of shit that was trying and seeing him struggle, fighting against the unbeatable, and very nearly resisting at that, spoke more than any sorry ever could… and I just thought that maybe, his kids ought to know about it. 

Still, there was no excuse for what he did, and more than likely there was no forgiving either. Or was there? What if it were me? What if I were his kid, what if I loved him? Like Nick? Could I have forgiven him? Could I have turned a blind eye to his misdeeds? 

I mean, just look at me now… I was already ignoring cold-blooded genocide and a lifetime of lies, why not also infidelity, hm? I know our situations were a million miles apart from ever being directly compared, I wasn't comparing… I just… I don't know… I just felt like we were all stuck in the same rickety boat, and it was slowly taking on water, trickle by trickle, and until I, until we find a way to patch it… we were all going to drown. 

It was thinking that, while walking at a snail's pace, that I heard the faint creak of someone else coming in… presence ushered in and made known by a ray of sunlight bleeding into the doorway hanging slightly ajar. A second later, bright emerald eyes stared at me from across the room.

It was amazing what a shower and a quick change of clothes can do to drastically alter how she looked. Went from dangerously enticing in a skimpy bikini, to soothingly serene in a long white sweater and skirt. Regardless, however, her natural beauty radiated through everything and everything either way.

"Ash," I called out, hearing, feeling my voice suddenly weightless, like I wasn't even the one speaking out. I brushed it off, tried to smile. "Got you feeling worried again, did I?" 

"Concerned, Master," She responded, pacing forward towards me with her hands clasped together around her waist, steadily, gracefully… not even a slight sway at all.

"Finally feeling more like yourself again?" I asked.

"Um, yes, indeed, as well as… r-regarding that, Master, I… I realize I may have said and acted in a less than unbecoming manner as of late," Ash stopped, blushed. "I would… sincerely appreciate it if you could perhaps… overlook all that, perchance?" 

For her, I pondered, I mused, and finally, I contemplated, before ultimately deciding.

"Request denied," I said.

She hung her head, blushing even redder. "Yes, I suppose not. Oh, the shame… it is too agonizing to bear." 

"Oh yeah, all those instances touching me and caressing me, and saying all those sweet loving words to me," I threw her a sympathetic look. "Like, just how on earth are you ever going to live all that down?" 

Unsurprisingly enough, Ash didn't exactly appreciate my sincere condolences. But putting that aside, she drifted her stare over my shoulder, eyeing the unconscious figure lying in a disheveled pile of straw and grain.

"What did he need of you?" Ash inquired. "The time you took, I suspect that whatever has transpired here, it went beyond that just being a mere simple conversation." 

"Yeah, he was… awake," I said, and judging by the slightly surprised look she gave me, I didn't need to elaborate any further on what I meant by that. "Out here, there's no one here for him… he just didn't wanna be alone, is all." 

"I see," there was a tinge of sympathy to her voice, but with it, I heard also a tinge of hope. "But I suppose that once you've rid him of his burden, that he'll be alone no longer." 

I felt my lips flatten out as I stuffed my phone back into my pocket. "We'll see about that."

For now, I just wanted to leave, go take a long hot shower and stare for eternity at the bathroom tiles. I needed a moment where I didn't have to think, where I could just… just not, y'know? 

But not just yet, apparently. I couldn't have that moment of mine just yet. I only made it an inch beneath the large barn doors, before I heard someone say, someone awake, "You really should just kill me." 

Ash was the first to turn back, her expression a cautious, quiet stare. I didn't want to move at first, I didn't want to look back at all, nevertheless, I found myself directing my gaze once more to the slumped distant figure at the back of the room. 

"I know you won't, and I don't want you to, but you really should," the figure continued on, slowly rising to his feet, staggering, wobbling, and yet his face showed no struggle, no emotion. "I would have killed me." 

Harry sounded… different. Less like a person, that goes without saying… but somehow also less of an empty slate. There was a weight to his words, a nuance to his voice. There was no other to describe it, he just sounded different. 

"I'm not you," I called out drearily, exhausted already. "And you're not him either, you're not Jay, you'll never be him. I won't give you the chance to." 

But then he laughed. He laughed at me, feebly, weakly, and choking a second after the attempt, nevertheless, I felt my exhaustion turn into apprehension. He never laughed before.

"Here's what you're not getting, you're already giving me that chance," He said, smiling that infuriating smile of his. "So long as you keep being you, then it's only just a matter of time until I'm fully me." 

He was talking differently too. Less stiff, more articulate. I really didn't like this. 

"How far along are you now?" I asked, gazing at him at the whole. "Just how much of you is in there?" 

"Bits and pieces, memories here and there, some feelings, a little more knowledge," His gaze flickered slightly, and his smile widened, softened. He wasn't looking at me anymore. "Your eyes are awfully green and bright recently, aren't they?"

Before I could say anything else, beside me, I heard Ash take in a breath. "That is none of your concern," She said quietly. 

"Eshlywn…" 

"Do not address me so casually," She said a little louder, a little firmer. "You do not know me as you think you do." 

"I don't?" He snorted in disbelief, then quickly jutted a finger at me. "And what, he does?" He sneered. "You love him, don't you? Your eyes are shining so bright. You really think that? You really love him? You don't, it's a lie. You think you love him, you don't. Because what, he's kind, he treated you nice - no, you don't love him, you just love what he did because no one else has treated you that way before, he smiles, he says nice things. Well, anybody could have done that, Eshlwyn, anybody could have. If somebody else had found you instead, you'd have loved them all the same. It's no different - he's no different."

From exhaustion, to exasperation, now to anger. It took all I had to restrain myself from wanting to lunge at him. 

"But I am different, I can treat you different," He went on, "I can do more, I can love you more, certainly more than he could ever - "

Right then, I felt a strong violent gust surging from beside me, and suddenly Ash was gone. 

In that split second, the barn doors slammed shut with an echo, the walls rattled, the stables shook, and there she was again, on the other side of the room, leaving a whirlwind of dust and hay left scattered in her wake. 

A pair of legs swayed helplessly inches above the ground, a strand of rope straining along with it. A flicker of shock momentarily breezed past Harry's expression, and Ash, her heavy breath resounding in the silence, lifted him up high even more.

"Mind. Your. Tongue." 

Venom in her words. Every syllable reverberated with her raw anger. Her hands tightly gripped at his shirt, itching, inching, wanting to do more except without any restraint.

"I will not hear anymore of this," even her voice, in a dangerous, frightening whisper, uneased even me. "About my Master, about myself, you do not know what you speak. Your words resound no truth, no verity, you seek only to provoke… and indeed you have provoken. I seriously, sincerely, despise you."

It took me a moment to find my voice, but once I had, "Ash…"

"If you really believe yourself completely infatuated over me - then so be it. That is your sentiments, emotions only fiction, only yours alone. Affirm it in your mind that it'll never come to fruition. Who I love, and who I chose to love… just be forewarned, that you have no say, you have no bearings over it."

And her last few words, spoken bitter, spoken vehement, teeth grinding teeth.

"So do not… ever again dare.. speak of it… speak of me… as if you do…"

Anybody else, and submission, total compliance would have been a guarantee. Anybody else, surely, but…

"No, you'll love me more," He smiled at her, nothing but tenderness, a gentleness in his expression showing so sincerely. "I know you'll love me more."

"Put him down, Ash," I found my voice again. "Don't listen to him, it's okay."

In actuality, this was far from being okay. At that moment I never wanted so much to kick someone's teeth in. But as much as I wanted to, as much of an annoyance he was being, I have to remind myself - he wasn't Jay.

Not really.

After a long and tense moment, Ash eventually complied and put him down - hard. A loud aching thud resounding as she dropped him into the thin pile of straw. Then turning heavy, she began to march away from him, and even further beyond, went straight out the door, flashing me a fleeting look… slightly apologetic… not that it was necessary. 

I don't blame her for losing her patience. If she didn't, then I probably would have… in fact, I still just might if I continue to linger around here.

Before leaving finally, I turned towards him for the last time.

"Can you do magic?" 

Harry took a moment to collect the air that left his lungs, before responding, in a wispy, breathy, voice.

"To… escape, you mean?" He said, before shaking his head. "No magic that substantial until I'm fully me."

I wasn't done inquiring yet. "How long until you're you?"

"I don't know, depends, really. But I wager not for a little while longer, longer than I hope. You did ward me off, after all."

"What the hell are you even going to do with two of you?"

"I don't know," He said, shrugging. "I'm not me yet."

"Right," I nodded. "Can you lie?"

At that, he managed another chuckle, even a little smile.

"Why must I? I don't see any need to," He replied, shifting himself comfortably in place. "You won't dare kill me, after all. Whatever's gonna happen, you'll just let it happen."

Ash was right about provocating. He really knows how to rile a guy.

Satisfied, I turned away, one foot over the threshold into the warm sunlight, and the other… the other froze.

"You enjoy her while you still have the chance to, alright?" He called out to me, so polite, so confidently. "When this is all over, at the end of this, she'll be right with who she truly belongs to."

"Who she truly belongs to," I repeated, lifting my foot over, and crossing to the outside, "So me, then, right?"

"If that's what you think."

"It's what I believe, and from the sound and look of it, it's what Ash does too," I said, turning to lock the barn, and in that dimming, darkening interior, I saw his smiling expression briefly falter, as I spoke. "And that's more than what you can ever hope to claim now, isn't that right?"

Then before he could say or do anymore, creak went the door, and click went the lock.

Fuck you, Jay.. No last laughs.