Chapter 180: Recess

After a while, I wasn't able to see the sun's rays past the doorway anymore. I didn't even know when the sky cast a bright orange in its dimming horizon… and when I even noticed it was happening in the first place.

All I knew was this room, all I could see were these walls, and every sound I would hear came from me and me alone. Every weary gasp for air, ever crackle and pop of my joints as I shifted about… and every hiss, every hoarse growl through gritted teeth - I'd hear that more than any other.

Magic was like a muscle, they said. The more you use it, the more you refine it, the stronger it becomes.

It's a process of cultivation that takes years of dedication, months even… and in cases few, an entire lifetime. Trying to speed it up, any attempts made to fast-forward the process through cheeky shortcuts, like what I was doing… well, maybe you're just better of not trying.

For like all muscles, you go and push them too hard, stray away from the standard process, then you're gonna have to deal with the repercussions.

Because muscles cramp, and they cramp rather excruciatingly. 

My magic started cramping… I don't even know when, I just knew it hurt a lot. From deep within my chest, all the way to the surface of my fingertips, it was a throbbing sort of sensation, like every nerve in my body was being squeezed between closing walls. 

It was an entirely different feeling from back then, I wasn't running on empty… I was just running far too much.

Irene warned me this would happen, Irene told me that it'll hurt. Her advice? Just bear with it, it might feel like it'll kill you… but it won't kill you, so just keep going on and do not stop.

Well… I didn't stop, from dawn till dusk, there I sat in silence, tolerating utter agony in all my senses, never once lowering my arms, my hands… they stayed never moving, but unfortunately, Ria didn't too.

I was successful at least four more times after the first, yet much like the first, those successes were short-lived.

Didn't matter which part of her body started to fade first, I could never get it to fade her entirely… and when the realization hits that I was just so very nearly there, I'd choke.

I try to forget what I'd see a second later. For those times, when I'm not too late, I'd close my eyes until the smell of blood goes away. It usually always takes just a second… but I keep them close for longer, just in case…

The one time where I was too late, I was so close to pulling it off. If only I managed to do it, it was just her head left… that was all that was left. So close, so very close, a little bit more, but I couldn't… and her head was all that was left.

But I kept going even after that… I'm still going. The sun had fully gone, the sky had completely darkened, I wasted a whole day. We only had three more left. How many more botched attempts before the incantation fully wears away?

Another gasp for air, another loud crackle in my joints, another aggravated hiss, and another cramp.

With all this pain, I don't even have the time to think about those things.

I have to keep going.

Can't stop at all cause, won't be interrupted, not even for…

"Master?"

I stand corrected.

The moment I lowered my hands, I already realized too late that I had made a grave mistake. My shoulders didn't like that one bit, and their complaints were loud and achingly clear. 

My eyes were but little wincing slits as I whirled my head around to the doorway, staring through blurry sights at a figure standing tall. It was brief, but my heart kinda skipped.

I never realized how breathtakingly ethereal silver-white hair could glimmer in the moonlight, and Ash's was just… wow.

She stepped in, and I immediately stood up - another thing I'd come to regret just as fast. Seeing her approach made me forget that my knees were awfully resentful for having to support my entire body mass for hours on end, something they were sure to painfully remind me of as they completely gave out from under me.

Only had time to let out a short yelp, before I went tumbling downwards like a tree. I braced to meet the impact of a cold, hard surface. I didn't. Though I timbere-d, I didn't fall. I landed on something warm, something soft. 

Then I heard a faint chuckle sounding right from above. 

"Slowly, Master, slowly," Ash said gently, her small soothing smile meeting my eyes from up high. "Next time, I may not be here to land on, next time."

Took me about a second too late before I realize I was buried in her arms, my head leaning right up against her chest. 

Classic blunder. But not one I ever thought I'd catch myself doing. 

"My bad," I muttered, sputtered more likely, trying to pull myself away, hoping the burning in my cheeks was just my imagination.

But she didn't let go.

"You shouldn't stand."

Slowly, she lowered us both back to the ground, only releasing her hold once she and I were both sitting on the floor once more facing one another. Let me tell you, trying to pretend nothing happened was a whole lot harder when her eyes just kept staring straight forward at me.

I cleared my throat. "Did you… did you need anything, Ash?" 

The way the words came out, you'd think a monster had spouted it, that's how gravelly my voice had gotten.

Ash glanced over my shoulder towards Ria, and for a short while, said nothing... then she blinked, and her gaze returned back to mine.

"Your twenty minutes," She said gently. "it starts now." 

Oh, my break time… right. 

"Don't need it," I said, declining as politely as I could. "I… I still have some magic in the tank, I'm fine."

"Lady Irene said you'll undoubtedly claim that to be so," Ash said, her smirk growing wider. "Which is why I'll only ask for five minutes instead."

"Five minutes?" I blinked, feeling my brows slant along with it. "To do what with?"

That was when I noticed the things she was clutching on either hand. On her right, an uncapped bottle of water, and on her left, two packets of plastic-wrapped sandwiches. 

"Share in a light snack," She said, raising a sandwich towards me. "Won't you, Master?"

My heart throbbed to the beat of 'YES!', but ultimately it was the cool, collected, calm, stupid, idiotic, sorry excuse of a brain that decided what would leave through my lips instead.

"Not allowed, remember?" I said, ignoring the glowering pangs in my stomach from the sight of a piece of ham sticking out from between the slices. "Irene said it'll just interfere with how magic flows through my body or something… so I can't - wait does she know you're here?"

Ash still kept the sandwich raised, an amused sigh blowing past her smile. "Lady Irene believed I've simply wandered down to grab myself dinner. I suppose I may have neglected to mention that I'd be paying you a visit as well."

Ooo, that's poking the sleeping dragon right there.

"If she finds out you're interrupting me, she's gonna get real upset with you."

"Well," She shook her head. "If it's for you, I've deemed it a risk definitely worth taking."

And before I could protest any further, Ash plopped the sandwich onto my lap, and began uncapping the bottle with one effortlessly twist of the wrist. 

"Now…" She proclaimed, holding the ends of her sandwich with both hands. "Shall we?" 

"Wait - "

"Master, if you worry that a mere sandwich would somehow inhibit your flow of magic…" She paused momentarily, giggling a little. "Then know that it is only myth. Consumption before or after the use of magic will not hamper your abilities whatsoever. I know not where such baseless rumors originated, but it certainly has spread to many minds far and wide."

It's a myth? For real? With how sternly Irene warned me about it, I took to it like the word of God and didn't bother questioning it at all. Could Irene, a detective respected by her peers and beyond, really be hoodwinked by such a rumor?

Well, she was the same person that did an oblivious switcheroo on amulets that one time, and that's how I ended up with a fiery chicken at my beck and call… so uh, anything goes, I guess.

With a disbelieving scoff, I picked up the sandwich and started to unravel the plastic packaging.

"So it's like going for a swim after you went eating, who would have thought," I took a bite, tears nearly welling up from the explosion of flavor I didn't realize I was sorely missing. 

Ash just smiled and took a small chomp of her own, probably having absolutely no clue what I was referring to. 

So silently, with just the pale glow of the moonlight to illuminate us both, we dined and devoured, taking light sips on our shared bottle of water, all the while doing nothing but staring at one another.

I didn't really know what to make of any of this… I never took Ash for the type to go out on her way to do something like this, usually, it'd be me that'd be instigating things between us.

So this… this was certainly different, certainly new… I mean, it's no dinner over candlelight, no fancy dresses, no smooth jazz to the side… but all the same, this was just as good.

"Is it to your liking, Master?"

"Oh, more than you know."

Ash smiled so easy now. 

And seeing that basked in the moonlight flooded with more tranquility than any twenty minutes ever could. 

The things I had to see the whole day, the monotony I went through, the silence, the aches, the frustrations, and the cramps... they all seem so far away now. 

Looks like in a way, I did get my big break.

Just wish I knew what spurred it...