Chapter 183: A Little Faith

We broke apart only a few moments later, and with how loud our lips smack as she drew away, Irene must have really reeled her head back at lightspeed. Kiss didn't even last that long at all, just a couple of seconds and I doubt we've even exceeded past the double digits.

It was the build-up part that felt like an eternity… the act itself, though? Gone in a literal blink of an eye… not that I even had the chance to blink if I wanted to anyway.

I slowly opened my eyes again. 

"Say what you want to say, go on..." 

The first thing I saw was the quiver of her narrow lips, on either side were her cheeks flushed to a bright rosy-red. Overall, It was a very stony-faced expression that I was being greeted by, especially with how rigid her stare was, but it was also one so badly worn.

"I'm waiting for it."

At any moment, she looked ready to bury herself underneath a mountain of rubble. There was also a hint of red glinting in the shadows of her hazel browns. 

Could still feel her on me… the warmth, the weight of her lips trickling, dispersing all around mine. Before, I didn't really get the chance to realize it considering the circumstances, but what she said really was true, after all…

"You really are a great kisser, aren't you?" I said.

Irene just rolled her eyes, and stalked out the room in typical Irene fashion… still trying to play it cool, I suppose. Can't fool me though, I saw that blush you're trying to hide…

I saw that smile. 

Had a smile of my own too as I chased off after her. Guess embracement takes precedence over common courtesy. Didn't even wait up for me, and by the time I even caught up to her, she was already finished making her way back up onto the fourth floor.

Together we headed back to my temporary homestay, where once more the offset of colors working in tandem with my giddiness had me nearly tripping on my own two feet, and it was in there when Irene regained back her cold, aloof composure.

She turned to face me, her cheeks no longer flushed, her eyes gone with their red, presenting herself as always with her arms across her waist.

"So did the… did the kiss do its job?" She asked, keeping her tone as blank as can be. "Are you feeling any better?"

Well, I feel a little lightheaded, every step I took was like mushing my feet on cotton candy clouds… don't know for sure, though.

"Yeah, I think I'm good," I said.

"Still frustrated?"

I shook my head.

"You sure?"

"Well, we could kiss again just to be extra safe," I replied, raising both my eyebrows. "What say you?"

Okay, that remark was so wasn't worth the elbow in the gut. Ow.

"Remember, once more then no more," Her eyes drifted to the slumbering phoenix lying center. "If you fail the one after that, you better make sure you reverse the spell entirely and not have it break midway through."

I heard the somberness in her voice, and I responded in kind. "And if it does break?"

"If it does…" She drew her gaze back onto me. "Then you better make sure it kills her instantly. Don't let her suffer."

Knew she'd say that…

"Understood." 

The giddiness evaporated, the gravity of the predicament sobered me up right quick. I just have to do it, don't even think about it - that's the problem with me, I think too much.

And when I think, I worry, and when I worry, I hesitate… and from there I snowball hard and fast striking headfirst into the brick wall of fuckups. 

So the solution? Stop going to that little voice in your head with all your woes and turmoils, that guy's a bad influence. You don't need him in your life.

Instead, just listen to everybody else, listen to what they're telling you, and hear the sincerity in their voices when they say, "You can do it."

Listen to Ash's, Amanda's, Irene now… how their eyes looked back at you with absolute certainty.

Hell, Mom herself even said it best. 

I know you will

Such much faith, never even the slightest doubt.

"Alright," Irene said, walking off, her words funneling through a heavy breath. "I'll guess I'll see you upstairs soon… her too, hopefully."

"You will," I assured her, going back to my kneeling, my aching, for the first time ever, with a smile on my face. "After a kiss like that… what man would shy away from a challenge?"

Her shadow on the ground slowly shook its head. "You pull this off, there'll be plenty more where that came from."

"Now, now," I said, staring at her figure in the doorway from the corner of my eyes. "I never said I'd be the one wanting..."

There it was again, trying to hide away with her footsteps stalking off into the night, a tiny smirk curving the ends of her lips. "You're so annoying."

I listened to the clack of her heels fade into silence before I started again. This time, I didn't a second to prep. The moment I hovered my hands above the warmth of Ria's flames, I was already focused, determined… and brimming fully with intent.

"Disappear."

Time ticked away. I didn't know long it took before the blacks and whites started to pulse again, rings of light converging, shimmering… but I definitely knew it happened a lot quicker than any other instance. 

This was it.

That invisible muscle, I strained even harder. Like tennis balls in both hands, the pressure in palms… I squeezed then harder, weaving those strings at the tip of my fingers, encasing her fingers, her hands… arms, every lock of hair, every stray ember swaying loftily about.

Y'know Ria, awake, you were always such a pain in my ass. Every time I'd hear you snigger, every time I'd see that mischievous twinkle in your crimson eyes… I just wanna drift away as well into an unending slumber.

But despite all the grievances I'd face, I really much prefer you up and smiling, teasing me with that snigger… staring at me with that twinkle, because asleep, it turns out, you're an even bigger pain in the ass. 

I swear I'm going to wake you up, Ria. 

Like it or not.

Master's orders.

Her feet first, translucent like a murky window on a rainy day. I watched it gradually spread across her body, like I always have time and time again, to her calves, her thighs, past her hips, to her waist. 

Half of her body had faded, just like the first time, the second time - but unlike those two attempts, I didn't let it stop there, I refuse to let it stop there. I kept going further, my breathing coming and going in rapid succession. 

Towards her chest, momentum had slowed drastically… it always slowed three-fourths of the way. Inch by inch now, it's okay - it hadn't broken, I can still continue.

It was an uphill battle, but I've conquered it once, twice, thrice even… and eventually, I've conquered it again. Hands, arms, shoulders… she was but a smoky outline all the way up to her collarbone. 

The neck now. 

I couldn't do it then.

I will do it now.

My fingers were cramping, I could feel my head pounding from the effort… that painful throbbing from all around… it'd always happened here, it'd always break me here.

Not anymore.

Come on, don't let it break, don't snap the strings, don't cramp the muscle, don't lose the focus. 

Stop worrying! Stop thinking!

Just do it.

Do it!

I couldn't… it won't budge, it won't move again - it's stuck to her neck… her head. It'd slice, I can't let it slice. 

Stop it. Reverse it. Don't let it break. Try again.

Don't think! Don't hesitate! 

Keep going. Do it. You owe it to your friends, you owe it to their efforts - and you especially owe it to yourself.

Don't fucking stop now.

You're gonna get emotional, then don't waste it. If you're gonna get pissed, then get pissed. Use it, control it… who cares if you don't want to? Who gives a shit if you don't think it's in your nature?

If it does the job, then use it.

Whatever it takes.

Push past it. Just one more spurt, you can do it. 

You will do it.

I could hear the gnashing in my teeth, feel the drool trickling from the corner of my lips, dripping with the sweat dripping from my chin. My breathing into growls, my gaze into maddened glares - pushing, pushing!

Gone.

I keeled over, my vision briefly blacking, breathing in deep gulps of air. I was on the verge of passing out - I didn't care, wasn't the concern, I looked up, I looked straight - expecting blood, bracing for failure.

A blanket. Just the blanket.

Nothing was there. 

A second passed… two seconds… three.

Just the blanket.

It was still just the blanket.

I… I did it.

Ria. I made Ria disappear. 

There was a buzz. My pocket, my phone. 

I scrambled around, a trembling hand burrowing into my pocket - two hands trying to steady the phone in my grasp.

A message from Amanda.

I tapped on it… my eyes, blurring, blackening, I read her message once, then again, and again, and again. I didn't want to stop rereading it. 

[[SHE'S HERE!]]

It fucking hurts to smile, it fucking hurts to do anything at all. 

[[YOU DID IT]]

But I still smiled, I still laughed, I still cheered - collapsing to the ground, with trembling arms raised up high, just in time to meet the first rays of sunrise shining down on my face.

"See, you did it..." I heard myself say, meeting the bleary-eyed gaze in the reflection of my phone screen. "What did I tell ya?" 

Yeah… you did tell me.

Easy peasy.