Chapter 89 - You Are A Pimp (pt. 2)

All of a sudden a glowing magic circle with all sorts of runes appeared beneath my feet, much to the amazement of all the people in the room. I quickly jumped out of it's range.

Realm transfer, my ass. I ain't done with this server yet! I still got rainforests to create, 'aight? I planted the seeds and I'll be damned if I don't stay and see if they take root. The world's ecosystem needs me!

[Realm Transfer failed]

Yeah, that's what I f.u.c.kin' thought. Bastard gods, tryna send me away. Or bastard princesses, tryna summon me to beat their demon kings. Or bastard demon kings, trnya summon me to protect them from the big bad humans.

Whoever it is, they can go f.u.c.k right the hell off.

[WARNING. A powerful unknown force has taken notice of you. Prepare for Realm Transfer]

"Grand Summoning arrays." Chef milf, who I just now remembered, frowned. "What's going on? Those shouldn't appear here." She snapped her fingers and a circle of light expanded outward.

[Realm Transfer failed]

"There. Better," She smirked in a self-satisfied manner.

DIdn't Mira tell me once that Chef MIlf was actually her mother? Since that's the case...

"Who asked for your help?" I sneered. "Nevermind that. Let's talk custody right." I rounded on the woman with fury. "Do you have any idea what almost happened to our daughter? You shitty mother, how can you even call yourself a parent?" I berated, rounding on her dazzling face with obvious fury. " And you have some nerve claiming me as a husband without even coming to consummate the marriage. Well now you're too late, missy, cuz now I gots me a delicious bowl of oyakodon." I grabbed several doc.u.ments from one of the pockets of my spiffy blue greatcoat and handed them to the dumbfounded woman. "These are divorce papers. Please sign along the dotted line." I've been carrying them around for just this sort of occasion.

"...We were just in the middle of a life-or-death struggle." Sera looked at me strangely. Had they? I looked around and noticed that the house was in a terrible state with holes in the walls, destroyed furniture and embers everywhere. "Now we're talking about divorce and custody rights. What's even happening right now?" She finished, looking a touch disturbed. I paid her no mind.

"My house!" I screeched instead. A great pain in my chest took hold. "What the hell is wrong with you people? I don't have any goddamn insurance! It's going to cost a fortune to fix this shit and I don't get my royalties for another two months!" I grit my teeth. "I spent most of my money on Vee's engagement ring, I can't afford repairs right now!"

"Engagement ring?" Mary, who had two thick tree roots with sharpened points at her sides, raised her voice. "You two are already planning to get married?"

"This isn't the time." Vera shut down further questions. Meanwhile, I was just about to kick out the two intruders when I heard hurried footsteps from the stairs.

"Master!" Minnie rushed down. "Are you okay?! What's going on?! I heard fighting."

Next was Bubbles. She used light steps and drifted down the stairs like a fairy. "Yeah, I heard it too. Who'd you piss off this time?" Her eyes scanned the room and widened when they landed on the other blue-haired woman, "Becks? Holy cow. What're YOU doing here?" She asked. "And dammit, I called you ages ago! My city got demolished!"

As expected, it really is that woman's sister.

Becks stared at Bubbles with an odd, almost hostile look. "That doesn't matter."

Bubbles was taken aback. " Do you even know how many people died because you didn't show up?"

Becks had her lips set in a hard line. She shook her head. "The lives of strangers are meaningless to me. But you…" Her figure flickered and disappeared only to reappear in front of Bubbles a moment later. "You, I care for. I always have. Yet this is how you repay my affection, by trying to steal away my heart. Why?" She demanded.

The younger woman rolled her eyes. "Your heart? Really? Come off it, Becks. You met him, like, once."

This, apparently, was NOT the right response. "He is my Other! Once is all I need!" She snarled viciously.

Bubbles gasped. "What?!"

I nodded. "Yeah. What? Sorry girl, but I think you got the wrong dude."

"No!" She hit me with a wild look. " You're wrong. I can feel it." She insisted. "Look." The woman ignored everyone and stepped closer. Being near her was like standing in a freezer. "Here." She grabbed my arm with lightning speed and placed it over her chest.

A strong, steady heartbeat pounded against the palm of my hand. Her eyes stared deep into my own and all of a sudden this cold, mature beauty seemed incredibly vulnerable. "Can't you feel it? This is you." She squeezed my fingers firmly. "You are the warmth of my heart."

I looked over at Bubbles. "Is this that soul mate thing you were telling me about?"

The woman didn't answer right away. Instead she walked up to her sister and checked for a pulse. Her expression turned weird and awkward. That was when I remembered Darcians don't have heartbeats. Not unless they--

[Player 'Damien Claybrook' has encountered a special event! Several quests generated]

[Quest: Restoring the Godhead]

[Quest objective: Restore yourself to your former godhood by collecting the makeup of your Divinity. Acquire the Soul, the Body and Mind of the great Dragon God Okeanos.]

[Sub-quest: Restore the Soul]

[Quest details: Long ago the battle between himself and the other gods splintered Okeanos' Divine Soul. These splinters drifted from the main body and implanted themselves into various descendants of their original owner. Reclaim these fragments to restore your Divine Soul. ]

[Quest difficulty: SS+]

[Reward: Phenomenal cosmic power]

[Quest Update: You have detected a fragment of your Divine Soul within the NPC "Rebecca Morgen." Would you like to reclaim your Soul fragment? Warning, this will kill and erase the soul of Rebecca Morgen.]

"Well f.u.c.k." I couldn't help saying aloud. "You really are my soul mate."

"No wonder you had instances where your water turned to ice. You acquired that from Becks." Bubbles shook her head in wonder. Now that she mentioned it, yeah. I do remember times when I made ice instead of plain old water.

[Would you like to reclaim your Soul fragment?] A bright blue screen popped up and asked.

Are you joking? This is my wife's sister! Even if it's fake to everyone in the know, legally she's my alias' wife, which makes her my wife. I can't just kill my wife's sister, now can I? I mean I could, but that would just be in poor taste.

[Not claiming this Soul fragment means your Divine Soul will never be restored. The restoration of your Divinity through the quest 'Restoring the Godhead' will be impossible. Are you sure you do not wish to reclaim this fragment?]

I'm pretty damn sure.

[Quest "Restoring the Godhead" has failed!] The system announced.

[New quest detected: "A Different Path"]

[Quest details: You have given up restoring your former Divine Self but this does not bar your way to greatness. Your unique circ.u.mstances allow you to pave a new and unrivaled road toward power.]

[Quest Objective: Acquire the faith and devotion of 100 billion souls to birth a new Divine Soul. Further refine your body to create a new Divine Body. Meditate and achieve high enlightenment into your chosen Dao to transcend and form your Divine Mind.]

[Quest difficulty: SSS+]

[Reward: Phenomenal cosmic power]

What's the catch, though? Itty-bitty living space? Guys, come on. That's wayyyy too much work. Who needs that much power? I have completely no reason to go through so much bulls--

[Warning. A powerful force has detected the large release of energy in your vicinity and is coming to investigate.]

Huh?

[Archangel White has entered the area.]

F.u.c.k.i.n.g who?

"A touching scene." Someone commented. Chef Milf. "But don't think you can simply take away my husband." She reminded everyone of her presence.

"Shut up and sign the damn papers." I quickly shot her down.

She smiled that mesmerizing smile of her's. "As unreasonable as ever, aren't you? But your mother isn't here to stop me anymore. I will take you away today, husband, if it's the last thing I do." She sent a glance towards Rebecca, then to the other girls in the room. In particular her gaze lingered on Mary. "But first I'll kill everyone who thinks they can covet what's mine without consequence."

Becks' hand conjured a sword of ice. "He is the warmth of my heart." She began. "I will let no one take him from me. I will be cold no longer!"

Sera burst into brilliant red flames. "You can both forget about leaving with him. He is my male. Don't think you can just do as you please with him."

"You should have stayed dead." Chef Milf softly sneered. "Allow me to help you with that." Her hands started to glow with white, sparkly light.

Vera snorted. " A couple of old cows wanting to eat young grass. Pathetic."

Mary stared at the two intruders with void-like eyes. "He has given me many kind words. I don't feel quite ready to give that up."

"And I'm certainly not letting some Fae-bitch take my husband." Bubbles cut in.

"Master...they look ready to break out in a fight any second now….w-what do we do?" Minnie snuck up behind me and tugged at my shirt.

Now see, this is why I don't like harems. The heroines gotta treat the guy like he ain't even there and start destroying his innocent house with no regard to how much it's gonna cost to fix it.

"I'll tell you what. I'm gonna pimp-slap a bitch."

[The skill 'Pimp-slap' has been awakened.]

See? Now I gotta do it.

[Warning. Archangel Grey has arrived]

"This aura…" Chef Milf looked up. "Those annoying birds again." She tsked

And a second later my ENTIRE GODDAMN ROOF got ripped off.

"Okie…" A familiar voice wormed it's way into my ears.

I lost my shit. "My F.U.C.K.I.N.G CEILING!" I bellowed. "What did you do!? Agh! I'll kill you, I swear I'll kill you! Motherf.u.c.ker, you MOTHERF.U.C.KER!!!!" I raised my hand. " Milly, to me!"

With lightning speed a bolt of silver and red pierced the sky. "Papa~!" The sword cried, overjoyed. "Are we gonna kill, Papa, huh? Are we? Are we really?"

"That's right. We're going to f.u.c.k.i.n.g murder this evil daughter of a whore!" I gnashed my teeth and looked up.

Only to find myself staring at an even more familiar, and headache-inducing, visage.

"Isn't that cake-face?" Vera raised a brow. And it was.

"Some powerful entity has taken hold of the girl's body." Mary examined the girl carefully. I did, too. She looked like Yesmina exactly, except her hair was different. It was the color of freshly fallen ash paired with eyes of bright, luxurious gold. At her back were two great silvery wings.

Christ. I don't see her for a couple months and she comes back as an Angel-possessed avatar

"Eh? Sister Grey?" Milly vibrated gently in excitement. "Is that you?"

And Milly knows her?

"Millenianna." Grey's golden pupils flashed.

"Milly, who is she?" Vera asked, not taking her eyes off the newcomer.

"Who, Sister Grey? She's Papa's daughter from Second Mother Alina. She really, really loves Papa, just like Milly!" Came a happy reply.

The title Daughter Diddler popped into my mind unbidden. I begged Milly silently. Please, please say Past Me didn't f.u.c.k his own daughter(s).

"She always used to sleep with him, along with Second mother Alina. Well, Papa slept with all his daughters on rotation. They also all really love Papa! "

I'm even worse than that Tomaru Sawagoe bastard!

I'm just a whore! A dirty, dirty whore!

[You are a Pimp]

**********

Author: So i know several days isn't exactly "soon"...to make up for it i'll try to get another chapter or two out within the next couple days.

Also why u no review? Alls i ask is you go to Amazon and say, "heyyyy….thats pretty good." But yall lazy cunts can't even do that TT^TT

Eh, whatever, no big deal haha.

Anyway it looks like she really IS the daughter of a whore, eh? And a mother f.u.c.ker.