Chapter 32 - Between The Lines

I and JJ walked back towards my store in silence that was heavy with the weight of my emotions and thoughts. I imagined I should have been thinking about Andrey in this moment, but all I could concentrate on was the vampire who walked next to me now.

He had his sky-blue umbrella lying over his shoulder, shielding him from the sun. JJ was really deft with it. Not a bit of sunlight fell on his unprotected face or fingers. He was the only one with an umbrella on this sunny day, but not a single passerby looked surprised at the sight of him. Glamour at its finest.

A slight smile danced on the edge of his lips, showing his good mood. The lips that had almost touched mine earlier.

I would've let JJ kiss me! And I knew he knew it. I wondered why did he stop. Was it some sort of luring tactics? To deny the kiss so I would long for it more? Or was he simply being a gentleman, unwilling to abuse the situation and knowing that I would regret the kiss if it happened?

The man was a mystery. I took him for the face value, but the distance between the lines he showed me was so great that it was impossible for it to be empty. There laid hidden messages that only brought me more questions and more doubts.

Two things were clear to me, though.

First, I really liked to have JJ around. The easy banter we had was something rare for me, and the care he had shown for my wellbeing was something I severely lacked since my dad's death. Besides that, he opened my eyes to the world of things I considered impossible before… the world of powers and possibilities that thrilled me to the core.

Without JJ to guide me though it I would be completely lost within. If not worse. It was a dangerous place.

Second, if I were to give in to the temptation that JJ was to my hormones, I will lose all of that like a bird from my hand. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even soon, but it will happen.

'But think about it, Diana. He told that he owes you his life. Maybe he will stay around to repay for it. He might even wait until you die from old age, until you move on. What, some sixty more years for someone who already lived for several centuries?' I thought to myself.

The perspective was even worse than him just leaving. I sighed, shaking away the feeling of my mortality. This was so far away in the future that I had no reason to think about such things now. Still, the idea of JJ staying against his own wishes didn't make me any happier.

"Hey, JJ," I said, urged on by a sudden desire to put at least some of my doubts to rest. "Say, if you were to seduce me—theoretically, I mean—what will you do next?"

I watched him expectantly as JJ shifted his umbrella so he had an unobstructed view of my face, careful to keep his hands in the shadow. He gave me a contemplative look before his mouth curved into a teasing smirk. A hint of a fang peeked between his lips.

"Are you afraid that I will leave you, ma chèrie? Don't forget, I promised I will help you build your trade empire."

I pursed my lips and turned away from his way too knowledgeable eyes. Was I so transparent, or was JJ so experienced that he could read me so well already? Gods, he probably had dozens of people falling in love with him.

Something that I wasn't doing, of course. Friendship was close to love, but not love, so it didn't count. Yep. Friendship and hormones. After all, what hot-blooded woman wouldn't be affected by someone like him? That didn't make me feel much less stupid, though.

"Well, then what will you do after you have it done, too?" I grumbled.

When JJ didn't answer immediately, I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. He was looking ahead of him, a strange expression on his face. Thoughtful, amused, but with some sadness or bitterness within.

For several seconds I just studied his features, tried to understand what was going on in his head, marvelled at the recent changes at his skin tone. Then his eyes shifted to me and I hurried to look away again.

"I wish I could say that I would leave you the day that will happen, never to return, but somehow I don't think I will have the heart for it, ma chèrie," JJ said after several more seconds of silence. "It will distraught you greatly, I can tell."

My traitorous heart skipped a beat, but I ignored it, as if ignoring something will make it not happen. It could feel good to hear that he cared, but who knew how deep or personal it was? My mind kept telling me I couldn't be burned by the dream of love again if I stayed far away from it. JJ was just chivalrous like that. At most, he probably thought of me as a friend, too. Friend with benefits, hah.

Then my brows furrowed as I mulled over the first part of JJ's words. It took me a second to get what he was talking about, and then I could only roll my eyes. That… hardcore-fanatic.

"You know, if you told me that, JJ, I would've been hurt too." I scowled at him, but there wasn't any real bite to my words.

He grinned at me. "But if I could honestly tell you that, why would some more of your pain stop me?"

I couldn't argue with that logic. Sighing again, I turned to the cracked asphalt of the sidewalk under my feet.

"I still don't get it, JJ. Why are you so nice to me? And so honest, too."

"Why should I lie and pretend to be someone I'm not, when I have power to achieve things I want without it? If you wear a mask long enough, it becomes your face and I, ma chèrie, like my face as it is now. It would've been a shame to ruin such beauty, wouldn't it?"

I burst in chuckles at his joke and sneaked another glance at JJ's face. Beautiful, indeed.

"That doesn't answer my other question," I said, biting back my grin.

"Oh, I think it does, ma chèrie." JJ slowly shook his head, a small, tight-lipped smile on his lips.. "I think it actually does."