Chapter 64 - Boomerang Thoughts

A silence stretched between us as I looked into JJ's charred face. I must've got used to it a little, because the sight only made me uncomfortable now. It didn't feel quite real. Which was for the best. I should've given my stomach a medal for not forcing me to puke anywhere today.

JJ's only remaining eye was green and sad. I hoped that his lack of concern over his injuries meant that the other one will grow back, while at the same time bitterly thinking that better him than me. The thoughts like the latter one were the thing that pushed me to ask JJ to disappear until I cool off.

"As you wish, Diana." JJ gave me a deep nod, almost a bow. Then he straightened up and frowned. "To recover faster from the blood loss, drink something now and eat more red meat and tomatoes in the next week."

He left saying nothing else, and I sighed, slumping in my chair. That man… he just had to say something that sounded caring, did he? But I WAS thirsty, and maybe some water would wash away the ashen taste from my mouth. Then, a shower would cleanse my skin.

I swallowed and felt a cold lump forming in my throat as my emotions crashed from the high of anger and adrenaline to the low of self-pity. Tears burned my eyes. Yes, a shower to cleanse my skin and tears to cleanse my soul. Sounded just perfect.

This time, JJ didn't appear to the sound of my crying as I let the currents of hot water mask my tears. I cried until I was too tired for it—and with how tired I was, that wasn't very long—and then soon left. My bed called to me and I imagined JJ wanted to shower as much as I did.

On my bed, I pulled my phone to tell Panda and Kirill that they will have an unexpected day off. It wasn't for them; it was for me. Panda didn't ask for a reason; Kirill did, but I avoided the answer. As I typed the messages, I heard the sound of running shower resume and knew that even if he avoided my sight, JJ was still around.

It was comforting and irksome at once. Mostly irksome. But JJ needed a shower much more than me, and I soon felt guilty for making him wait for it; then angry because I felt guilty for someone because of whom I almost died.

I curled more comfortably on my bed and wished, for once, the opposite of what I often dreamed about as a child: that magic wasn't real and witches, vampires and werewolves were just tales.

⠀⠀ ⠀

I woke up with cold sweat on my skin and a gasp frozen in my throat. Remnants of a nightmare clung to my mind. The vivid images brought me back into yesterday, but both worse and more absurd. Half-burned JJ hugged Christina in her harpy form and I watched them kiss before Christina happily announced that they were going to have a vampire wedding now, and I would be the cake. Then she pulled a huge knife out of nowhere and attacked me with it.

The worst part, the first part of the dream, was almost more disturbing than the second was terrifying.

I looked at the clock—it was almost ten. I had slept for twelve hours, which was quite a record, and still felt shitty, be that because of my shitty life or because of my blood loss. Well, I had a solution for that, especially since the store was closed today. I pulled out my phone and browsed my electronic library until I found a chick flick with CEOs and martial arts but, thankfully, with nothing magic-like.

It pulled me away from the world for a couple more hours, except for a bathroom break, until my stomach forced me to dress and get to the kitchen for breakfast. Thankfully, I still had some leftovers to heat, because I was neither in a mood to cook nor to go out.

I kept lazing on my bed after breakfast, content to play the avoidance game and rest my tired mind and body, but as energy returned to me, so did thoughts I didn't want to think. After realising that I read a third page without processing a single line, I gave up on reading.

My thoughts pushed me to pace over my room like a caged beast. I didn't want to think about the events of yesterday, but they kept popping into the forefront of my mind, like a boomerang that returned no matter how far away I threw it. The sight of Sergey's glazed over face appeared before my mental vision whenever I closed my eyes.

I wondered if he had a family and if he followed Christina at least somewhat willingly or was completely brainwashed by her magic. I wondered how much of the man I saw yesterday was true and how much was an act. I wondered how long it will take for me to stop thinking about him.

It took me an entire hour during which I almost paced a hole in the floor of my room, before I calmed down enough to return to reading. After lunch, I felt well enough to work a little, but on my way to the stairs, the sight of JJ's shoes standing at the door made me pause.

He had two pairs before, but now they were reduced to a single one, and its presence here signalled to me that JJ was in my apartment, in this very moment. In his—my dad's—room where he shouldn't have been living at all.

I moved my leg to kick the offending shoes out of pure spite, but my leg froze midway. These were good shoes, not an expensive brand but clean and well-cared for. What really stopped me, though, was the mental image of JJ's burnt face.

His eye. His hair, his beautiful hair… All because he protected me with his body and magic.

With a click of my tongue, I turned away and stomped towards the office. Maybe what I needed was not work, but a TV-series marathon.

As I sat down in the office chair, a sound of a message notification on my phone distracted me again. Without thinking, I went to check it out. It was from someone I didn't know, but that wasn't new—sometimes clients would write me in VKontakte.

But when I read the message itself, my blood went cold.