What foreboding words these were. Full of unspoken promises that made butterflies flutter in my stomach. There was a possibility, though, that JJ meant something else than I imagined. Maybe he just meant helping me with the shop.
I highly doubted that. It was just my old insecurities raising their ugly heads.
My arms still lied on JJ's chest, and the awareness of our proximity made me hurriedly drop them to the sides. Suddenly, I felt way too close to the magnetic man. Too close to think straight, at least. I only wanted to give him a small, almost innocent kiss… but of course, gave JJ a hand and he will bite it off.
I couldn't find in myself to regret it, not with the memory of his touch fresh in my mind, but I had to stop there before it escalated further. I had to establish boundaries. What WAS our relationship now? What it was before? I had spent too long dancing in the darkness.
"JJ," I started, gathering my words and my determination together.
He raised his brows in a silent in a silent urging to continue, but didn't interrupt and let me take my sweet time. I picked my words carefully, as the entire area wasn't something I was very experienced about.
My single relationship with Andrey… didn't include a lot of talking about feelings or boundaries. But since then I gained lots of experience… from all the romance novels I read. The same novels that made me think that what I and Andrey had was True Love. Well, not the exact same ones—better ones.
I held my chin high and my hands on my hips, the pose itself making it easier with me to meet the piercing look in JJ's scarlet eyes.
"First, the fact that I kissed you doesn't make you entitled to anything more than that."
JJ nodded and opened his mouth, but I interrupted whatever he wanted to say.
"Second, JJ, while I understand you don't do serious relationships, there should be some established relationship. I can't just do… anything like that… without one. Alright? Not to say that I'm against it, but… we should date."
All my courage began to leave me, my chest deflating. I couldn't hold JJ's gaze anymore.
"Date?" The confusion in his voice made me look at him again. The first spots of green appeared in his eyes, and a surge of amusement when I remembered comparing them to Christmas decorations made me relax a little. "You said you understood my lack of inclinations for marriage, ma chèrie. Not that I'm not flattered that you would even consider…"
I furiously shook my head and flailed my hands in the air. "What marriage? I only meant dating! Dating, like, casually!"
"Casually… dating?" JJ frowned before smirking devilishly. He raised a thumb to his lips. "I don't see how this could be casual."
I stared at him, speechless and red-faced, before hurriedly looking anywhere else. As if it could hide my embarrassment.
My eyes fell on the computer JJ worked on before I appeared. It reminded me that JJ wasn't a product of my time—he was born centuries ago, and then just recently he missed an entire cultural revolution. Now that I thought about it, I was lucky he didn't think I wanted to write calendars or eat southern fruits. I chocked on a laughter at the thought.
"This… There's certainly some miscommunication there, JJ."
"It appears to be so." JJ let out a small sigh and turned aside to move two chairs in front of each other. He sat in one of them and motioned me at another in a gesture that had a relaxed elegance that made me wonder if JJ was born a nobleman. He certainly could pose as one as he told me he did before.
"In moments like these, I understand vampires who retire into seclusion to avoid ever catching up with the times. Well, if my blunders bring a smile on your face, ma chèrie, then I can still consider myself a winner by the end of the day."
He grinned at me, and I could only grin back as I sat down. The jokes, the friendliness—it all made me breathe easier. It wasn't at all like that heat that even the coolness of JJ's skin couldn't diminish. The heat that was both alluring and scary to dive into.
"So what did you mean by dating, ma chèrie?"
I leaned back, biting my lower lip as I wondered how to explain it better. "Well, you know courtships, right? Two people interested in a marriage meet up to check if they are compatible and all."
JJ leaned forward in his seat, planting his elbows on his knees. The resulting pose was a strange mixture of relaxing and intense. Like a predator lying in ambush, comfortable but ready to strike at any moment. My heart skipped a beat.
"Of course, I'm quite familiar with the concept. This is sometimes called 'dating' as well, isn't it?"
"No, not really. I mean, in modern speech, courting and dating are very different things." I focused only on explaining, and on keeping myself from nervous rambling. "Courtship itself is an old concept. I don't think many people, if at all, use it now. Dating is what people do. The crucial difference between the two, is that dating doesn't necessarily mean a marriage, even though it can and often does include, uh…"
"Sex?" JJ asked innocently.
I had to make a double take at him, and when I did, I found him smirking with a look that revealed that he was making me squirm on purpose. Just to spite him, I squared my shoulders and pushed through the uncomfortable topic.
"Yes, this. Birth control is available for everyone, so there's little danger in it if you are careful, and people can see if they are also compatible in, uh, bed. Or they can not plan for marriage at all and date for companionship or… sex or both. Well, everything is possible. The point is that people can try to find out what and who is perfect for them. Do you get it?"
JJ nodded. "I think I do."
"Then… will you date me, JJ? Without expectations for anything, just spend time together… because we like it?"