Chapter 93 - Reverse Vampire Failure

Judging by the time, JJ must've already closed the store (without me, which only made me feel guiltier), but wasn't yet done with his daily accounting. Which was probably one of the reasons he was here. Which meant…

"We aren't? I know you didn't put the sales in the table, because the tables are on this computer, and I was here all this time," I said, because I just had to, with that long tongue of mine. Then, with a sense of instant regret filling me, I shook my head and began rambling. Nothing better to fix a problem caused by a long tongue than a longer tongue, but it wasn't something I could control in circumstances like these, when a dialogue wasn't a mental battle. When I was speaking with friends, whom I trusted to not be too appalled. Or even worse, a boyfriend.

Words left my tongue almost without my notice.

"Ugh. I didn't mean that you should do it right now, no-no-no. I did want to tell you about my visit to Avarice's. She was totally cool about stuff. I mean, she was a bitch, but not, like, a total one? Don't even know how to explain. I can't even call it passive-aggressive." I put the computer in sleeping mode and suddenly realised how empty my stomach was. The last time I ate was seven hours ago. "Come on, let's go to a kitchen. You won't mind if I have my dinner while we talk, JJ?"

"Of course," he smiled at me indulgently, now obviously amused, and went side-by-side with me towards the stairs. "So, how many skins Avarice tried to rip from you?"

"All of them, JJ, all of them!" I flailed my hands in exasperation. "She actually wanted to hire me, can you imagine? I refused, of course. She is, like, literal vampire mafia boss. I don't wanna be a mafia! So we settled on me bringing her a new set of furniture instead of the one… The one you and Alexey broke, actually." I stopped on the threshold of the kitchen to swivel on my heels towards JJ and pin him under my scowl. My palms planted themselves on my hips. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you fought. 'Renegotiated', my ass."

He grinned at me with zero remorse. "A show of force is a vital part in most vampire negotiations, and even more so in this case, since I wasn't at my best when I and Avarice first met," he said and stalked into the kitchen past me. "What to do you think about scrambled eggs with tomatoes, ma chèrie?"

"That they are tasty, but too bothersome for me to deal with in the moment," I replied on reflex before my brain caught up with the rest of me. I hurried after JJ, only to see him already opening the fridge. "Ah. You meant, as in, you cooking for me? That would be very nice. When did you master the electric stove?"

"Soon after understanding your microwave. The principles behind the dials are very similar," JJ said, pulling out a tomato and two eggs. He set them on a counter and motioned me to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Sit. You can talk while I work. My cooking skills might be somewhat rusty with the lack of use, but I'm confident that I won't fail a dish that simple, at least."

JJ's back was to me as he went to wash the items in the sink, and for a moment I didn't move, mesmerised by a movement of muscles under his thin button-up shirt. His short hair opened me a view on his neck, the skin of which looked light and soft like… like a tissue paper. No, like a rice paper, because rice paper was edible, and so was that neck. So edible I was eligible to drool.

A sudden thought went through my mind and instead of sitting down, I made a step towards him. JJ still didn't turn towards me, instead busy with cutting the tomato and heating the stove and the frying pan and the frying oil…

I was an arm away from him when he did turn to look at me, his expression quizzical. "Ma chèrie? Is something wrong?"

Caught mid-prowl, I straightened up and smiled awkwardly. Damn, and here went my hopes of pulling reverse vampire on him. Next time, I guessed. "Nothing, nothing," I said, sitting in the appointed chair. "So, I convinced Avarice to stop extorting money from me—and it wasn't me who said that it was plain extortion, it was all her!—if I find someone willing to sell her these chairs to her. Well, chairs and a sofa, technically. Who knew she was so particular about her furniture? Is this a vampire thing to live in mansions, castles and penthouses?"

"If one has eternity before him, he would want to spend it as comfortably as he can. But in case of Avarice, I'm positive that it's mostly a show of wealth and status. She is young by vampire standards and must compensate it somehow if she wants to raise above what she has now, and I have no doubt that she wants to."

I nodded. "Makes sense. I thought something like that, too. Her house looks like it could belong to someone of your age, JJ." I grinned at his back, and just in time to catch him turning away from the stove to catch a glance at me. "Not that you are old. You are… aged. Like wine."

He leaned his head back with a laughter. "Thank you dearly, ma chèrie, for that compliment. Though I'm sure that even wine would spoil if it stood for as long as I lived."

"It totally would. I remember reading about some old sealed jar of wine found in archaeological excavation of something of… Roman era? The oldest wine in the world. Absolutely inedible, of course, by now. But the fact itself!.." I shook my head. "Anyway. And after I dealt with Avarice, I chatted with Alexey, her bodyguard, for a bit. I felt he was magic, but I couldn't bring myself to ask who he was exactly. Do you know, by chance, JJ?"