Chapter 1397

When my body fell heavily on the bed, I suddenly woke up.

I thought about it seriously and calmly. Thinking of Haizhu's performance and expression today, I suddenly realized that she didn't seem to hear these words. Otherwise, she would not behave so normally when she left in the morning.

I suddenly feel lucky and scared.

No doubt, it was the sound I made last night when I was sleeping.

No doubt, it was recorded last night.

However, there is no doubt that Haizhu did not have time to hear it.

Obviously, Haizhu left here in a hurry last night and forgot to put it away in the morning.

She was negligent.

She didn't have time to listen to the voice.

Thank God for her negligence.

Harulia, thank God.

Without hesitation, I deleted the sound and put the recorder back in place.

Suddenly I didn't feel sleepy. I sat on the bed in a daze

Light a cigarette and smoke silently in the dark

If it goes on like this, as long as Haizhu perseveres in keeping a close watch on me, sooner or later I will show my true feelings, and sooner or later something big will happen.

Once there is an accident, it will be extremely terrible and irreparable. It will be a storm, a storm, a lightning, thunder and a thunderbolt.

However, I can not stop Haizhu, not only can not stop, but also pretend not to know, pretend nothing happened.

Two people, two people who are together every day, two people who are about to get married, have reached this level between each other. Is this a kind of sadness? Whose sorrow is this? Whose responsibility is this sorrow?

At the beginning, my heart was full of dissatisfaction with Haizhu, but think carefully, why should I be dissatisfied with her? She is so loving me, so attached to me, so dependent on me, what is her fault? When things come to this point, don't they all come from my own death? Isn't I the cause of all this? I feel sorry for Haizhu and Qiutong, too. I feel sorry for too many people

So far, have I experienced fewer women? From clouds to Donger, from Haizhu to Qiutong, from summer rain to I don't know if I'm sure

I've crossed so many women's rivers of life and soul, so many.

How come there are so many unknowingly? I was suddenly very surprised, not surprised.

Not only has she gone through so many women, but also there are Qin Lu and Kong Kun in the reserve, and even Cao Li, who is waiting there.

I don't feel some fear in my heart. Am I amorous? I'm almost a stallion.

Thinking like this, I can't help but blame myself and myself deeply

Thinking like this, I don't feel deeply sorry for Haizhu, Qiutong, clouds, Xiayu. Even I feel sorry for my elder martial sister, my leader's wife, Xie Fei

It's a heavy psychological burden and unbearable burden to feel sorry for so many women in my life.

I don't want to be like this, but it's like this again, it's like this again.

I can't help feeling like an asshole. I'm in a bad mood. I feel like a gambler, gambling hysterically, gambling on life, gambling on love, gambling on life It seems that I'm going to put all my capital into it, and I'm not going to take it back.

Of course, I don't know what my capital is.

Even, I doubt whether I have the capital of life, whether I am qualified to have the capital of life.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt sleepless. I got out of bed, got out of the bedroom, stood in the living room for a long time, and went into the study.

Sitting in front of the desk staring at the laptop, unconsciously boot, unconsciously log in button.

It's been a long time since we landed.

At this time, it was ten minutes past midnight, and the whole city began to fall asleep.

And I, it seems to insomnia, not sleepy.

Floating life like a dream online, she is online.

My heart trembles slightly. Is she just met by me today, or is she hanging here alone every silent night?

Is she waiting here alone and silently for the lost time, or do you want to miss something, or are you waiting for something?

I took a deep breath, reached out and hit the keyboard: "why don't you sleep?"

After a moment, she replied, "you What are you doing

"Nonsense." I said, "I just came up, why don't you sleep?"

"I I'm not sleepy. " She said.

"Not sleepy What are you doing here? " I said.

"I I'll sit alone for a while and be quiet for a while. " She said.

"Do you often stay here like this every day? I came here occasionally today. " I said.

"I Only occasionally today. " She said.

"You lied." I said.

She did not answer.

I see. So many days, so many days I didn't come here, she must be alone here, she is lonely and lonely here, maybe she is not to wait for my arrival, just want to watch the past time here, looking for the past memory, filling her lonely heart with those beautiful fragments in the air, to spend the long night of melancholySo think of me, my heart can not help but very painful.

"Why aren't you asleep? Why are you here in the middle of the night? " She spoke again.

I said, "I can't sleep, I'm upset Come and have a look. I didn't expect you to be here. "

"Why are you upset? Because of work arrangements? " She said.

"Work is nothing! No I said.

"What's that for?" She said.

I was silent for a long time and said, "I ask you -"

"um..."

"You say, what's the biggest capital of a person's life I said.

She replied: "the biggest capital In my opinion, if it is tangible, it is undoubtedly health. Health is the capital of revolution Nothing can be said without a healthy body. "

"Invisible?" I said.

"Invisible capital, I think, is mentality Mentality is the greatest capital of life She said.

"Oh Mentality Why do you say that? " I said.

She said: "your real master's mentality. A great man said: either you control life, or life controls you. Your mentality determines who is the rider and who is the jockey. An artist said: you can't extend the length of life, but you can expand its width; you can't change the weather, but you can control your mood; you can't control the environment, but you can adjust your mind. Buddha said: things turn at will, the state is created by the heart, and troubles are born by the heart.

"Dickens said: a sound mind is more powerful than a hundred kinds of wisdom. Emerson said: a person who always advances towards his goal, the whole world makes way for him Although these words are simple, they are classic and incisive. There is no doubt that what kind of mental state a person has will produce what kind of life reality. Just like doing business, the more capital you put in, the more profits you will make in the future. "

"Oh..." I pondered over the passage and began to ponder.

She seems to be able to see through my mood at the moment, and then said: "in life, a good attitude can make you optimistic and open-minded; a good attitude can make you overcome the suffering you face; a good attitude can make you indifferent to fame and wealth, and live a really happy life. Thousands of years of human civilization tells us that a positive attitude can help us get health, happiness and wealth

"In real life, we can't control our own experience, but we can control our own mentality; we can't change others, but we can change ourselves. In fact, there is not much difference between people. The real difference lies in mentality. Therefore, a person's success or failure mainly depends on his mentality. "

"Actually Sometimes, my mentality is not good, not because of others, but because of myself Even, I'm often angry with myself. " I said.

"It's better to be angry. There are both favorable and unfavorable situations in life, and adversity is impossible everywhere; there are peaks and bottoms in life, and bottoms are impossible everywhere. It's a shallow life to be arrogant because of prosperity or peak, and downcast because of adversity or trough. In the face of setbacks, if you just complain and get angry, you are doomed to be a weak person forever. " She said.

"I don't want to be weak, but sometimes I lose my self-confidence inexplicably!" I said.

"Self confidence is the direct expression of mentality. No matter what you do, you can win only if you have self-confidence. Since ancient times, many people have failed, not because of incompetence, but because of lack of self-confidence. Self confidence is not only a kind of strength, but also a kind of motivation. When you are not confident, it is difficult for you to do well; when you are not good at nothing, you are even less confident. It's a vicious circle. If you want to get out of this vicious circle, you have to fight against failure and build up solid self-confidence. " She said.

My heart moved slightly.

She went on: "action is more important than heart. Heart is not as good as action. Although action may not be successful, it will not be successful without action. Life doesn't pay you for what you want to do, it doesn't pay you for what you know, it pays you for what you do. A person's goal starts from a dream, a person's happiness is grasped from the mentality, and a person's success is achieved in action. Because only action can nourish the food and water of your success. "

She seems to know what I'm thinking at the moment. Is that the heart?

I said: "you're right. Maybe my mind is impetuous. I lack a common heart Although I keep telling myself to look at everything with an ordinary heart, it's very difficult to do so many times. "

"Yes, it's normal. A lot of people do, and I will do the same So, I think, common heart is indispensable. Life can not be plain sailing, there are successes and failures; there are happiness and loss. If we pay too much attention to the ups and downs of life, then life will never be calm and there will never be laughter for us. There should be something to pursue in life, but the temporary absence of it will not hinder the happiness of daily life. Therefore, having an ordinary heart is an essential lubricant in life. "

"Well Perhaps, I really should let myself calm down and really let myself learn to give up. " I said."If you give up at the right time, you will get something Sometimes in life there must be, but never in life. Don't force those things that don't belong to you. Learn to give up in time. Maybe when you work hard, you will get what you wanted but didn't get, and there will be unexpected harvest at this time.

"Giving up at the right time is a kind of wisdom. It will let you more soberly examine your inner potential and external factors, and make your tired body and mind adjust to become a happy and wise person. Blind persistence is better than rational abandonment. He who keeps the sunset is a fool, and he who mourns the spring for a long time is a fool. People who are reluctant to give up often lose more precious things. At the right time, give yourself a chance and learn to give up, then you can get it. " She said.

"Sometimes, some things, can you really give up completely?" I said.

She was silent.

I was silent, too.

It seemed that she understood what I was saying, and I could guess what she was thinking.