Chapter 1505

Zhang Mei continued: "to tell you the truth, although I dream to see him, although you said you would try to help me see him, I still didn't expect that this day would come so fast, so fast that I feel like I'm dreaming now."

"About me and him, maybe you will despise and despise him in your heart. You will think that he and I are just a pair of dogs, men and women, and a pair of social scum. I know that although you work with him, you are obviously not the same kind of people as him You and we are not the same people in the world, you will see us like this But I don't blame you. I understand your opinion. In your world, it's right to look at people like us. "

"You Maybe I think too much. " As I said this, I looked at Li Shun in the car not far away. He was sitting there with his eyes closed.

Zhang Mei gave a bitter smile: "I didn't think much Maybe I won't think about it before I get rid of drugs, but I think about it a lot during these days in the drug treatment center. At last, I want to see the sunshine of life, get in touch with the beauty of life, and realize that there is truth, goodness and beauty in the world I finally want to look at myself from the perspective of the public It's just that I'm going to go with him when it's just effective and going smoothly. "

I said, "would you like to go with him?"

"Yes, of course This time, I will never leave him, I will follow him in life and death No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I will follow him and never leave again My life is destined to be closely connected with him. I can't leave him. In fact, he can't leave me... " She said simply and confidently.

"But, you're just halfway through it." I said.

"No way That's all I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations. " She said.

My heart sank, and her words seemed to mean something else.

"However, you can rest assured that I will consciously continue to detoxify. The biggest obstacle I need to overcome now is addiction. I will try my best to overcome it." She seems to see my face is not good, said hastily.

I smile bitterly in my heart. When I get to the golden triangle, I spend all day with Li Shun, who has been skating. How can she overcome her addiction? Although she made a vow, it seems to me that she was just trying to reassure me. It seems that she was not detoxifying, but I was detoxifying. It seems that she was detoxifying not for herself, but for me.

I can't help but think that her achievements in drug treatment some time ago are likely to be in vain, and her efforts in these days are half done.

I can't help feeling a burst of sadness and sadness in my heart. If this woman and I don't know each other, I won't have such a feeling, but the key is that she is Xiaoxue's mother, Xiaoxue's mother! In any case, I can't let myself accept that Xiaoxue's parents are addicts who can't extricate themselves. How can Xiaoxue face it when she grows up in the future? How will they face the light snow?

Of course, Zhang Mei would never know that she would never return to Xinghai or see her own daughter when she followed Li Shun. Even Li Shungen would never let her know that her daughter was still alive.

Zhang Mei looked at me and said, "in fact, my biggest wish now is to be an ordinary person, an ordinary and peaceful person, and live a quiet and plain life. But now, it seems that this is impossible Maybe everything is predestined. I'm predestined to have him, and I'm predestined to follow him to die in the Jianghu.

"I believe in fate. I will not resist fate. Now that he has reached this point, I have no other choice but to follow him. I will accept life and death Now I have nothing to worry about, the only thing I want is him Alas It's a pity that I didn't keep that poor child for him, my hard-working daughter Do evil, I do evil myself. "

Zhang Mei's voice is sour. After so many years, she is still struggling with it.

As soon as I heard her say this, I couldn't bear it. I couldn't help telling her that Xiaoxue is still alive and happy. However, I'm not impulsive to that point. I still have reason. I know that I can't reveal a little bit about Xiaoxue in front of her. Otherwise, Li Shun will go crazy and really kill me.

What's more, I also think that it may not be a bad thing for Zhang Mei that she doesn't know her daughter is still alive. Otherwise, Li Shun may take some unfavorable measures for her out of his overall consideration

I understand that in Li Shun's mind, this is all decided by Li Shun. He is treating people around him according to his rules.

Of course, from another point of view, Zhang Mei may also be able to rank, and the ranking is not necessarily behind.

"Life has to go on, life has to go on." I said.

Zhang Mei wiped her eyes and said, "although I'm with him again, I can't give birth to any more children for him. He takes drugs, I skate and I have no hope of having a child. The more hopeless I am, the more I miss that child Alas... "

Zhang Mei sighed again.

I can't help feeling a little bit bandit Yi in my heart. Zhang Mei thought that if Li Shun wanted to take her away, she would be together with Li Shun again. She thought so naively. She didn't know that Li Shun was disgusted with almost all women, and his idea was born because of her.Now Li Shun's disgust and rejection of women even makes me suspect that his sexual orientation has changed. Of course, I don't have enough evidence to confirm this. I just guess. But although it's just a guess, it makes me feel unrealistic and unrealistic about Zhang Mei's idea.

Of course, Li Shun doesn't exclude all women. He is very close to his mother and daughter. At the same time, he doesn't hate and exclude Qiu Tong. He even cares about Qiu Tong. He has always vowed that Qiutong is his fiancee and his daughter-in-law of the Li family. Qiutong can only be his. No one can touch Qiutong except him. Absolutely not.

His psychology of dominating Qiu Tong makes me always be a fearless underground worker. But it's his attitude towards Qiu Tong that makes me not sure that he has a problem with his sexual orientation. I just think that he rejected most women because of Zhang Mei's stimulation, but not Qiu Tong.

Similarly, I don't think that even if Zhang Mei follows Li Shun to the golden triangle, Li Shun will sleep with her. The main purpose of Li Shun Taking Zhang Mei away is for Xiaoxue and her family. Of course, it also implies something that Zhang Mei can't give up. But after so many years of precipitation and resentment, it may be difficult to change Li Shun's mentality.

I'm thinking and analyzing

In fact, I don't know what Li Shun was thinking in his heart at this time, and I don't know what Zhang Mei thought.

I can only make a reasonable guess from my point of view.

"When I saw him, I felt that I had hope in my life and that my heart began to revive." Zhang Mei said: "of course, I know that time is the most merciless thing in the world. No matter how deep the feelings, kindness and sincere feelings are, they will fade away because of the loss of time. It's not that the world is hot and cold, and it's not that people are indifferent. It's because the joys and sorrows of each other can't be shared. The wind of years and the hand of time have weakened you and me in my heart. But I will remember that no matter how familiar the road is, it will be strange if I don't walk, and no matter how deep the feeling is, it will pass like smoke if I don't care. The origin and the end, the world is changeable I want to face the changeable world with a constant heart. "

Zhang Mei seems to be optimistic about the future of herself and Li Shun, but Li Shun does not intend to let her know that there is Xiaoxue. How optimistic can she be?

I didn't feel a bitter smile in my heart.

Zhang Mei then said, "by the way, yi Ke, do you remember that girl?"

"Which one?" I said.

"That's the beautiful girl I saw when you drove me to the green space of the detoxification center to stop and smoke." Zhang Mei said.

I pretended to think about it and said, "Oh, I seem to remember."

"That girl is so beautiful. Her mother is so beautiful. What a happy mother and daughter they are. I can't forget them after I met her that day I always think that if my daughter were alive, she would be as old as her, and she would be so lovely and beautiful: "Zhang Mei said with a dreamlike expression:" these days, in the days of drug treatment center, I often have a dream at night, a dream with the same content. "

"What dream?" I said.

"I dream that my daughter still lives in the world, and lives happily and healthily:" Zhang Mei continues to say with a dreamy tone: "I also dream that our mother and daughter are reunited, and I am very happy. I take my daughter to play games on the lawn of the square like the mother and daughter, and her daughter runs happily, pounces on my arms and calls my mother Mom I feel so happy But when I wake up, it's just nothing. "

I feel a pain in my heart, and I can't help thinking of Xiaoxue.

"Do you think it's strange? As like as two peas I saw, I dream of my daughter every time. It's as like as two peas. " Zhang Mei suddenly said.

"Ah..." I couldn't help crying out, and I was shocked.

"Of course, I know it's just a dream, but even if it's a dream, I think it's a bit strange. Why do I dream that my daughter looks like that girl every time In other words, why is it that girl every time I dream about my daughter? " Zhang Mei said.

"I don't know." I said in dismay.

"Of course, maybe I'm crazy to think about my children. I think about my dreams every day. A woman like me is not qualified to be the mother of that beautiful girl. Other people's mothers are so gentle, kind and beautiful. I'm not qualified to be compared with her A woman like me doesn't deserve to be anyone's mother. I don't deserve to be a mother. " Zhang Mei's voice sounds depressed, too.

I'm almost crazy in my heart. I can't stand the pain of facing the fact but can't say it frankly. I can't make my heart so cruel. No matter what kind of woman Zhang Mei is, after all, she is Xiaoxue's mother! After all, she is also a woman, a mother! Maternal love is still flowing in her blood infiltrated by virus

But I know clearly that I can't tell Zhang Mei anything, I must do this, otherwise, I may harm Zhang Mei, Xiao Xue and even everyone.

I forcibly suppressed my inner impulse and excitement, and tried to say in a calm tone: "it's time for you to leave. It's not short, it's not early."Zhang Mei nodded and suddenly said, "brother, I want to hold you..."