Chapter 76: Human Flesh Buns

I picked up Xiaotao’s bag, looked at it, and shouted, “You can come out now! I know you’re behind the bushes!”

A bush nearby rustled, and out came Xiaotao wiping her butt with her hands.

“Geez!” she exclaimed with a playful grin. “How did you figure it out? I was sure you’d fall for it.”

“Well,” I began to explain, “first of all, you carry your handbag by slinging it across your body, but the strap is very thin, so it definitely won’t still be intact if it had been forcefully pulled down. Besides, you’re a police officer. With your instinct and strength, there’s no way you’d get kidnapped without putting up a fight. And lastly, the most important clue is your…”

I paused, realizing what I was about to say.

“Um… your fragrance from behind the bushes.”

“Fragrance?” Xiaotao sniffed her own body. “But I never used any perfume. What fragrance are you talking about?”

“Your scent! I meant your scent!” I hurriedly explained.

While Xiaotao teased and mocked me, we found a bench in the park to sit down and take a rest. After a few minutes, Xiaotao yawned and stretched and said, “This past week has been so exhausting! We’re honing in on a black underground organization, and I’ve been on stakeout for four nights in a row! I probably had less than twenty hours of sleep in the last week!”

“But you’re a captain in the criminal division now,” I pointed out. “Do you still need to do all that?”

“That’s exactly what police officers do most of the time,” she replied. “The life of a police officer mainly consists trivial cases and paperwork, not high-profile murder mysteries. I do envy a special consultant like you. It’s only when there’s a big case going on that you’ll be invited out of your cave to help us. You know, when you asked me out last night, I’d planned to catch up on sleep today. But it’s my fault for saying yes to you!”

No wonder she seemed a little weak and out of spirits today. I noticed that she was even wearing some light makeup too, probably to conceal her tiredness. With a very heavy heart, I suggested, “Why don’t you go home and rest up?”

“Idiot! How dare you ask me out and then tell me to go home like that!” she jeered with a smile. “A more cunning man would’ve said, ‘Why don’t we book a room and rest for a while?’”

Color rose to my cheeks even though I knew full well that she was just teasing me again.

Xiaotao waved her hand and said, “Ah, forget it. I’ll just take a nap here.”

“Right here?” I asked with alarm. “But you might catch a cold…”

But before I could finish my sentence, Xiaotao was already lying down on the bench. She then rested her head on my lap. I was so shocked I didn’t know how to react—this was all too sudden!

“Don’t you dare take advantage of me while I sleep, okay?” she said with her eyes closed.

“I-I’d never do that!”

In no time at all, Xiaotao began to snore lightly. It was obvious that she was considerably fatigued.

Just as Xiaotao fell asleep, my legs which she used as a pillow soon went to sleep too. Still, she looked so peaceful and precious that I dared not move at all, for fear of waking her up. It was incredibly boring, though, since I couldn’t even play with my phone since it was in the pocket of my jeans. All I could do was sit there and admire the birdsongs and the flowers in the park.

Xiaotao slept for two whole hours. During that time, an old geezer who went to the park to jog passed by and saw us. He smiled knowingly and even raised a thumb at me. I had to restrain myself from cursing at him.

At about four o’clock, Xiaotao woke up and stretched her whole body out.

“Ahh, that was the most restful sleep I’ve had in weeks! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” I replied, barely able to move my numb legs.

Xiaotao checked her clothes then smiled and said, “You really are a trustable gentleman. It reminds me of an old joke.”

“What joke?” I asked.

Xiaotao said there was a man and a woman sleeping on the same bed. The woman drew a line in the middle and said to the man, “If you dare to cross the line at night, you are an animal. Then the next morning, the woman found that the man didn’t cross the line at all, so she told him, “You are less than an animal!”

I had heard of this joke before, and with a red face I remarked, “He must’ve tried very hard to do the right thing but was instead mocked for it!”

“Hahaha. Seeing how honorable you are, why don’t you spend the night at my place? I can make you omelet and rice for dinner if you like!”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “No… I’ve got class tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, do you? Then why are you blushing again? Deep down you really want to come back with me, don’t you?” She teased me in a naughty tone. Her eyes were fixed on mine, and it made me so embarrassed I had to look away. She then waved her hand and said, “Okay, okay, I’m done messing with you. I’m hungry now. Let’s find a place to eat!”

Xiaotao stood up and walked a few steps away before she found that I was still sitting.

“Come on, let’s go!” she urged me.

“Give me a minute. My legs are still numb.”

Once my legs recovered, we left the park from the other side that we came in earlier. All the way I was constantly on the lookout for any nice-looking restaurant to go into. Then, I caught a whiff of a delicious aroma. Xiaotao sniffed and noted, “Yum! Smells like delicious steamed buns!”

Judging from the smell, there was probably a shop selling meat buns nearby. It was amazing how good our sense of smell became when we got hungry. Xiaotao excitedly announced that she hadn’t eaten meat buns for a long time so this should be our late lunch!

We followed the smell all the way to a bun shop near a residential building. It was a small and inconspicuous shop. There was only a man working there, presumably the shopkeeper. He was a chubby middle-aged man who was wearing a rather grimy apron. His face was full of smiles as he pulled out a steaming bamboo basket out of a pot. A swarm of customers rushed in like vultures around a fresh carcass, and within minutes there were no buns left.

“Judging from their popularity, I’m guessing the buns must be to die for!” remarked Xiaotao. “It’s just as they say—the best food is always hidden in these unknown hole-in-the-wall places!”

I went up to the shopkeeper and ordered ten meat buns. The boss replied with a smile, “Okay, coming right up!”

After I paid the money, Xiaotao asked me, “Will we be able to finish eating ten buns?”

“If there are leftovers, then I’ll have them for supper tonight.”

“That’s very sensible of you!” She looked at me with a smile.

Soon, a huge bamboo steamer basket full of piping hot buns was ready. The shopkeeper packed ten of the buns into a paper bag and handed it to me with a short utterance of thanks. We were really hungry at this point, so we quickly found a spot to sit down in the park and tore into the buns directly.

The buns were made with thin outer skin and a very generous amount of filling—the perfect ratio in my opinion. The second I bit into the bun, an irresistible savory aroma wafted up and filled my nose. The juices of the filling burst inside my mouth.

What a generous man the shopkeeper was to sell these scrumptious buns for only eight yuan each, I thought. The people who live around here must be really happy.

Xiaotao herself was so eager to devour the buns she couldn’t even stop to speak. As she bit into the bun, she used her other hand to catch the juices that flowed out of it.

“Oh my god, it’s delicious!” she exclaimed. “I haven’t had a bun this tasty for ages!”

“You’re right, this does taste extraordinary! It doesn’t even taste like… pork…” I paused mid-sentence, suddenly realizing that something wasn’t quite right. I focused on the taste and analyzed it carefully.

“Wait a minute!”

“What’s wrong?” Xiaotao snarled and stared at me.

“Stop! Don’t swallow it!”

I push the filling out of the bun and spilled them onto the bench. Then, without worrying about the scorching hot temperature of the filling, I used my fingers to touch and squeeze it and examine it closely with my Cave Vision. Soon, I realized exactly what was wrong with this bun filling.

“Spit it all out!” I yelled.

“Why?” Xiaotao was startled. “Is the pork infected with swine flu?”

“No, it’s human flesh!”

Xiaotao spat out all the food in her mouth instantly.

“What the hell! Are you sure?”

I pulled out a piece of meat and showed it to her. Although the bun’s filling had been minced quite finely, some things could not completely be destroyed.

“Do you see those lines? That’s the texture of human skin,” I explained. “Humans are hairless animals, so to increase friction and grip we have lines and wrinkles on our skin. This is one of the unique characteristics of humans!”

Xiaotao gasped in horror. Frankly, I was fairly disturbed myself. To think that we almost swallowed human flesh into our bellies!

“We should alert the police now!”

“Looks like my day off has been ruined…” Xiaotao smiled wryly.

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