Chapter 296: World News (2)

Jason kept opening his mouth but couldn't say anything. 

He even stood up and approached the teleprompter to read if it really is dildos. He sat down and looked at the reporter.

"Is this some sort of sick joke? I am a distinguished war analyst who served on many battles against Canada and Russia. And you're making me sit here and talk about dildos?" Jason glared.

"Si-Sir! It's really the report! This is also the first time I'm reading it!" The reporter then turned back to the camera and continued.

"Mo-moving on. Let's read what the report has to say… Reports of bright light exploded out of the area where the Africans believe to be Fifth Fortress. In the Saudi Caliphate Region. The bright light was strong that those on the shore of Africa claimed to have seen a sun appearing and disappearing on the horizon. Ok… it looks like we are back in business. No more dildo nonsense… Thankfully." The reported laughed. 

Jason's angry glare changed.

"A bright light? Interesting."

"Could you tell what this might be?"

"Pangean Everbright. That's one possibility. But this one seems to be an enhanced version. It looks like it must have been so bright since your correspondent was actually able to name the base which was attacked. I was going to tell you to fire that man for that inappropriate report. But hopefully, we are way past that." 

"Right. Right. That was just… stupid. Moving on with the report… The African government detected several powerful energy fluctuations and confirmed that Dune World was activated. Furthermore, A Sand Golem was created in that sandstorm. Erm… Mr. Jason, what are Sand Golems."

The moment the reporter mentioned Sand golems, the expression of Jason changed.

"Alright. I take it back. Don't fire that correspondent of yours! It looks like this is the real deal! Sand Golem is a very top secret protocol in the Caliphates! It's not something that civilians know!"

"Oh, thank God." The reporter sighed in great relief. 

"What exactly is this Sand Golem?"

"It uses advanced Dune tech to make the sandstorm engulf one Armor. Sounds weak, right? It's not! A Sand Golem can take on a full nuke and still fight! It's amazing how your correspondent got that info! That's just great journalism! The Caliphates doesn't use it. In fact, from the reports and information we have, they have yet to activate that protocol!"

"Wow. That's very amazing! So is this one of the reasons why the Caliphate is tough to attack?"

"Yes. Its Dune Technology counters EMP, Lightning Rod, you name it! If a Sand Golem has been summoned, it means the threat of this attack was so real! I think that the earlier report is true!"

"It-it-it is? The dildos?!"

Maybe your correspondent talked about the dildos because it was a cover for the WGP to steal the real weapon! You know, go in, make some strange actions that draw attention, and while everyone is focused on a nonsensical operation, a weapon is stolen! And that stolen weapon is something strong enough to make the Caliphates use Dune World and Sand Golems!!"

"Of course! You're right! That's probably it! Amazing deduction!"

"I think the correspondent of yours knows how to tell a story! This is delivering news with excitement and thrill. He knows that War Analysts will be looking into this, so he or she must have been trying to add intrigue to this report. He had me going there. But now I see the bigger picture. Give that correspondent a raise!"

"I see. A little out of the box, but it seems it's effective."

"Well… such reports are only appreciated depending on who the war analyst is." Jason laughed.

"Indeed! Our station is thankful to have you, Mr. Blanco! Let's see where this report is going…" The reporter turned back to the teleprompter.

"This raid becomes critical to understanding the battle. Fifth Fortress was the second base identified to have been attacked. We were able to identify the base because of the weapons that were used. While the African government hasn't yet made confirmation of the attack, our team has come into contact with an important informant who offered to tell us the battle. The battle in the Caliphates was so chaotic, so brutal that it prompted this soldier to turn tail, flee the Caliphates, cross the Red Sea and escape to Africa. After interviewing him, we are convinced that the earlier actions of the WGP in stealing dildos are a part of a greater plot."

"Brilliant! Now that is a reporter!" Jason praised.

"They have found a fleeing soldier even before the African government found him? That's amazing!"

The reporter could not help but puff his chest in pride.

"Indeed! We actually have information that the government couldn't find! Let's see… There seemed to be some audio file attached to this report. The attached audio file is our interview with the soldier that had fled. Now keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, this audio is being played for the first time!"

The audio file was played.

"Tell us what you saw." A man's voice asked.

"The battle there was very chaotic. It all started with a lone soldier attacking who we weren't able to catch or kill. We were told not to kill him, and he was able to kill a little over thirty soldiers. Maybe more!"

"Thirty soldiers? An amazing pilot! That has to be a Commander Level!" Jason exclaimed.

The audio continued…

"Why couldn't you kill him?"

"I don't know. He was being controlled by someone else. The moment we got him, more attacks arrived as a large Pokémon surfaced from the sea."

"A large… Pokémon?"

"That's right. I know it was one! I've seen it! But I'm not that of a gamer. My son owns a game with it. But that Pokémon fought and killed a lot of my friends. And then they deployed a strange tech. That was the most bizarre weapon I've seen! It wasn't in any of our briefings of possible techs. No one could identify it!"

"It's the weapon!" Jason added. He had a strange expression when he heard Pokémon but assumed that the soldier might have just been a nerd of some sorts.

"I couldn't understand it… What I know is that this weapon is so powerful it tore apart our base! It nullified the Dune World's power and destroyed us from the inside out!"

Jason was stunned. This technology could rule the world!

"And somehow, it is connected to dildos."

There was silence. The person interviewing the soldier didn't know what to say.

The studio that was playing the audio also fell into a strange silence.

Jason had a very disturbed expression.

"Dildos? As in the sex toys?" The interviewer finally asked.

"The very same. I was wondering why it was around the base. Dildos were everywhere. I couldn't understand why. Someone had scattered dildos all over the base."

"Scattered dildos?"

"Yes! Some of these elite secret soldiers with bombs in their hearts even kept shouting something about the dildos. There was a secret behind this object that we just didn't know! I even grabbed a hold on to some out of curiosity?"

"What did these dildos do?"

"Nothing! It was just a plain old dildo! Hard and bendy." The soldier shrugged.

"What?!" The interviewer asked.

"WHAT?!" Jason Blanco shouted.

"So it didn't do anything harmful?"

"That's the mystery! It did! Some soldiers were waving it, and the WGP retreated when they found out that we had dildos!"

"Wait… Your army uses dildos?"

"Apparently. The elite team called Planted all had them. One managed to use it to hit and wound a WGP! It was a Fleet Admiral! And the dildo damaged the suit! It broke through layers and layers of the force field and wounded the Fleet Admiral that the WGP had to retreat!"

"The dildo that your armies used wounded a WGP Fleet Admiral? That's a suit closest to those Iron Mans in Russia!"

"Yes! I saw it with my own eyes!"

"How did the weapon work?"

"Well… It pierced the Fleet Admiral."

"Pierced?"

"Yeah! I mean… That's what dildos do, right?!"

There was silence once more.

Jason's expression was extremely ugly.

"Mister- Mister Jason. Let's wait. You said it yourself… maybe this report will later clarify what's going on, and the soldier and the correspondent is merely um… building excitement."

"Yes. What else can build up excitement  but dildos, right?" Jason shouted sarcastically.

"Also. There was another group called the Lost Primordial. They were attacking us!"

"Wait. It wasn't the WGP that was attacking you?"

"At first. But then the Pokémon and that other group attacked. There Exoskeleton of this Lost Primordial was a Supreme Exoskeleton. It was the real thing! It was an Iron Man! They also attacked and fought each other. Our base merely became the fighting ground for these crazy people!"

"Wait. Iron Man, Pokémon and the WGP?"

"Yes! An,d they all obsessed and used dildos! Each had strange powers! I heard they called it Phallic Techs or something! The WGP and the Iron Man were talking about it."

"What did the Iron Man look like?"

"It was an Exoskeleton with strange dildos around it. The WGP also had dildos all over its suit."

"Dildos again?"

"Yeah. I don't get it either?"

"So, in your opinion, are these dildos important weapons?"

"I saw the power! I figured that our base got destroyed because of these dildos! But, here's another thing. Somehow, a guy named General Vender Hirock and Gender Vender was in the mix."

"Who is that?"

"I don't know! Someone from the WGP? I know that name is after an African General, but he must have been using an alias! In fact, there were three of them! One was in an Exoskeleton, and another was something called a Planted?"

"What are Planteds?"

"The elite group with bombs that I just said earlier. From what I know, sleeper agents of some sort. Or probably people who were forced to serve General Joab Barak. The Caliphates will soon have a civil war. That General was into some nasty business. They are called Planted because they have undetectable bombs planted on their heart!"

"How horrifying!"

At this point, the reporter was hoping that Jason would somehow calm down. The information being discussed turned into a more serious and believable turn.

Jason tried to contain his anger and drank some water.

"Let's circle back to the Vender Hirock people. You said three. An Exoskeleton, a Planted and who was the third!"

"And the last one was an exhibitionist."

"PFFFT!" Jason spat out the water.

"An exhibitionist?"

"That's what I saw! It was chaos! Planteds, Pioneers, and Presiders were being mentioned! And then that another P was thrown out! And when that P was thrown out, I walked away!"

"Another letter P?"

"You see, in the height of the battle, I was already on the sea watching the battle with a telescope. The battle ended when General Joab Barak threw a large rocket that caused the bright light. He threw it at the Planted, who was saying he was General Vender Hirock. The WGP rescued the other Vender Hirock, and after that, they were all gone."

"They rescued the Exoskeleton?"

"No. Ok. This is just my opinion here, alright? That battle was downright weird. The WGP rescued the man who was naked. I think the three people were pretending to be that Vender Hirock. General Joab Barak wanted to kill him. The WGP wanted to save him."

"So who won?"

"I don't know! General Barak attacked the Planted the WGP saved the exhibitionist because he showed them his erm… you know?"

"What?"

"His saber."

"His Light Saber? His Contained Flame Saber?"

"No! I mean, his, you know…"

"His dildo?"

"Not that! His real stuff?"

"His real stuff?"

"His Papa Echo November India Sierra."

"Is that a weapon? What was it again? Papa- what?"

"No! I mean his junk! His stuff! His Johnny! His Mandalorian! That! His- !" A censoring beep resounded.

"His- ?" Another censoring beep resounded.

The reporter, who was swallowing his own saliva out of nervousness, choked on it.

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Cut the damn audio! I had enough of this crap!" Jason exclaimed as he flipped the nearby table.

The audio was immediately stopped.

"Fire that idiot correspondent! How dare he interviews an insane man! How dare he!"

"Alright! Alright! Quick! Cut to commercial!" The reporter urged as he stood up to stop the raging war analyst.

The news circulated around the globe.

But to certain people, this odd and comical news made them feel a sense of fear that they have never before felt on earth.

Presider, Pioneer, and Planted were reported. It didn't take long for the Aragarian population to find out about the ongoing massacre of Planteds in the Caliphate bases. 

Straviaa watched the news as she had an extremely ugly expression. She called the only Presider she could trust.

"Straviaa? Why are you calling me?" An older man answered with a grunt.

"Enderks. I am calling you because I believe it's you who knows what to do. I am sending you a video file from one of the turncoats of Pridgeon's Pioneers. Watch it and stream the trending news that you see in that news channel from the Americas."

"What's the main point? If it's not interesting, I'll-"

"I have proof of Pridgeon's betrayal. He might have killed Crostfree and possibly stolen his techs. The video file will detail several techs that Pridgeon has not shown. He could be a mid-tiered Presider! And if he has Crostfree's tech, he could be a high-tiered one!"

"What?"

"I called you because you're the only one who has the guts and the impatient personality to do what I plan. Help me kill Pridgeon!"