Chapter 22：Scarlet Numbness

Trigger Warning: This chapter has elements of self-harm. Please skip after the '•••' part if you don't want to read it.

It wasn't because of something dramatic like a huge bout of sadness overcoming her entire being.

It was actually just nothing. The kind of numbness that seeped to one's bones.

As though if one cut Yin Hua Lei open, only air would flow out. That's what it felt like.

She felt a sting on her eyes and realized that a crack from the window let the first sunshine in.

The canopy wasn't drawn so the light went straight to her who was lying down absentmindedly.

Curiously, she stared at the beam of light and the air particles flying about.

She just took it to herself that her greatest mission in life was to steer away from the plot so her family wouldn't die.

I guess... That's accomplished already.

Knowing that Bai Chen Rong and Xia Yu Heng were out there enjoying their married life, the two wouldn't bother with the Yin clan as long as Yin Hua Lei didn't cause troubles.

Her daughter would probably be happy living with her father. Even though Yin Hua Lei had misgivings with Xia Lian Bei's personality, she didn't doubt his adoration towards the child.

She slightly worried that Tiandi would be bullied by the future wangfei and the concubines, but something told her that the one who would be bullied was them.

Her Uncle Emperor, on the other hand was more cunning than the devil so nothing was to be worried about him.

Had everything went according to the plot, she would have never reconciled with her family, have deeper relationship with the Emperor, nor met her daughter again in this lifetime.

Did Tiandi die too when the third prince ambushed Feng wang in the original storyline?

... Who knows?

All Yin Hua Lei did now was attending to the numbness that gnawed her heart everyday.

It would be better to stop this nonsense, after all.

Under her jade pillow was a long red hairpin with a white plum blossom on one side.

Well it only looked like a hairpin but was actually a deadly weapon personally made by Yin Hua Lei.

Looking at it in the dimness of the room, the scarlet still attracted one's eyes.

As always, Yin Hua Lei was slow to think over things but once her mind was made up, no one would stop her.

Slash!

She was merciless even to herself. The dark red liquid immediately blossomed on her wrist, dying her hands and the sheets underneath.

•••

But just right then, her most loyal people felt their mistress was quieter than usual today.

All of a sudden, three shadows kicked the doors open.

Yin Hua Lei just laid there looking blankly. She gave up caring at all. It didn't matter even if she was caught. She'd already done it.

Zhao Gang fled from the room to inform and fetch the masters. His hoarse voice barked orders one after another as different hidden guards were sent to the direction of Duke Yin fu.

Xin Ling also employed her qinggong to get all the medical supplies needed while Xin Tao was already doing first aid on their mistress to immediately stop the bleeding.

Never would one suspect that the palace maids serving closely by Yin Hua Lei's side since childhood were masters of medicine.

In fact, the female doctor who treated the ninth prince the day his group was ambushed was actually Xin Tao.

With a grave face, Xin Tao's hands were adept and speedily halted the flowing blood. But the danger didn't stop there.

Their mistress was really thorough, ah!

She knew that the possibility of being caught by her proficient servants was high so the injury Yin Hua Lei inflected on herself was even more ruthless.

Even if one stopped the bleeding, one still needed to repair the harmed veins.

The Xin sisters worked together as they didn't even know how much time passed. The room was deathly silent and the two weren't even aware of their surroundings.

Their sole focus was hauling Yin Hua Lei from death's door.

With determined eyes, the sisters didn't cease working.

Mistress, even if you kill us after you wake up, we will gladly accept! As long as you continue breathing...

Having been taught by a Medicine Sage of the jianghu, the sister's abilities weren't trivial. A case where even the Head Imperial Physician could have long given up, these two wouldn't even think of dropping it.

Moreover, this was their mistress ah! How could they dare be negligent?

Xin Tao was just thankful that their mistress didn't push the blade any deeper. Just even a hair's breadth and she could have really severed a major blood point. At that time, even if they cried red tears, Yin Hua Lei wouldn't come back.

It was hard to have a resolute master because even in taking her own life, she didn't even hesitate.

Noon passed, then the afternoon. It was only when night approached that Xin Tao and Xin Ling both collapsed on the floor due to excessive concentration and exhaustion.

Zhao Gang, with his acute senses was the first to enter and assist the two.

The first thing that greeted them outside Yin Hua Lei's chamber was the whole Yin family.

Not one of them dared to make a sound this whole time nor did they try to forcefully enter Yin Hua Lei's room after the operation.

Seeing the two worn out yatou, Yin Fang Qi immediately ordered for them to be seated and served with light snacks. They shouldn't eat a meal after a whole day of not consuming anything.

The sisters weren't so modest in the idea of being served.

The Yin family looked so calm in the surface as they all sat in position. No one fidgeted, cried or made a scene as they patiently waited for the two to slowly regain some energy.

Zhao Gang was standing not too far away behind them instead of going back to his hidden post.

Indeed, the Yin clan was worthy of praise.

Something big like this suddenly happened yet they didn't even show signs of wavering. It was all because the family members had absolute trust in Yin Hua Lei's subordinates.

They'd been with each other all of their lives. The family respected their expertise and understood the burning wish for Yin Hua Lei to live was all shared by everyone in this room.

Nothing would even result by being hysterical.

After just a few bites of the snacks and sip of tea, the two ladies went straight to business.

"Old master, Eldest master, First madam... Mistress is out of danger..." Xin Tao began but there were words that she seemed to have difficulty conveying.

Xin Ling filled in for her. "But whether Mistress wants to wake up or not is entirely dependent on her. It is a condition when the patient herself tries to cast her life away..."

The two immediately knelt and no one knew when Zhao Gang also appeared beside them.

"We as mistress' servants are incompetent. We should have guarded more closely. Mistress has been suffering alone all this time!" Xin Tao couldn't hold her emotions anymore as tears recklessly spilled.

Yin Fang Qi tightly embraced his wife who had been trying to be strong since this morning. Nuo Wan's body was taut and it was evident how she held herself back from crying loudly.

She repeatedly thought to herself all day that Xiao Lei wouldn't die. Her daughter was strong!

But wasn't this too much for a mother? The pain her heart felt engulfed her whole being. She could only squeeze the hand she'd been holding.

Now that this happened, Yin Fang Qi didn't want to keep his family in the dark any longer.

So he retold the things the Emperor told him that day.

The information about Yin Hua Lei secretly giving birth to Feng wang's child but he wasn't specific with the details for even his Majesty himself wasn't aware.

They could only deduce that the two weren't standing on the same ground and had a major fall out but they would have never expected that Yin Hua Lei would resort to self-harm!

From Yin Fang Qi's story, Zhao Gang also followed with the information of their mistress meeting with Feng wang the night of the autumn festival.

From then, Yin Hua Lei started to be gloomier by the day until her suicide attempt now.

"Mistress wanted to retrieve the little princess from Feng wang shu, but this one wasn't allowed to be near at that time so I'm unaware of their exact discussion. But this one remembered Feng wang leaving in anger while mistress was forlorn."

Actually, Xia Lian Bei's wrath wasn't clearly expressed on his face that night. But the atmosphere surrounding him was saturated with hazy murderous intent. So Zhao Gang carefully chose his words.

He knew the Yin family's position had always been to support the throne. But the Emperor extremely favored his brother and it wouldn't be too good if seeds of discord were planted because of Zhao Gang's words.

Zhao Gang was still sensible at the most crucial times.

When everything was said, the people in the hall only felt the temperature drop.

Their heads all turned to the patriarch. The usual exorbitant nature of Duke Yin was replaced by the sharpness that he originally had since youth.

The old duke was angry beyond comparison but this was no laughing matter either. He couldn't just order his people to blow up the Feng wangfu without trying to reason out with the dragon inside the imperial palace.

"Fang Qi... does bi xia have existing plans laid out?" were the first words he said after a while.

Duke Yin Guo didn't playfully call the emperor his disciple which meant that he was utterly being serious.

He asked his eldest son because these years, he hadn't really involved himself with matters of the royal court. He completely gave over the authority of leading Xiu to his three sons.

The one at the helm and had direct contact with the Emperor was none other than Yin Fang Qi.

"His Majesty has plans..." Yin Fang Qi only affirmed.

Everyone understood that he wasn't allowed to divulge. They all knew that they were primarily bound by duty.

"Then... Husband, we can't help Xiao Lei at all?" Nuo Wan could only ask in a soft voice.

Faced with Yin Hua Lei's attempt to take her life, the first thought that they, as her family members, had was not to take revenge. They didn't even want to blame someone.

They knew Yin Hua Lei all too well. Even if she was driven to the point of no return, a person couldn't compel her to take suicide.

This meant that it was a decision she made by herself.

Now, as her family, their only wish was to be enlightened with her reason and to help her in any way they could to alleviate the burdens weighing her down. Such familial sentiments were quite uncommon in the upper society of Da Xia where one could sell one's daughter for more power and prestige.

Yin Fang Qi didn't know how to react. He was still a bloke with low eloquence after all.

"Elder sister-in-law, don't worry. Bi xia won't let Xiao Lei suffer more." Yin Ming assured not only Nuo Wan but all of them.'