Chapter 33

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Chapter 33

Of course, though their relationship was purely physical, Hert had no intention of sleeping with a sick woman.

Even knowing that Tessa was sick because of him, he decided to take care of her like this. He never intended to treat her this way.

But this woman….

“I’m asking if you see me as such a bastard who would f*ck you right away whenever you just take your clothes off.”

“…That, not it….”

“Then what is it? Why are you suddenly touching my pants?”

At Hert’s ferocious question, Tessa shut her mouth. Seeing this, Hert raised his eyebrows crookedly. The emotions he had been trying to suppress as much as possible were edging to come out as he saw that closed mouth. It was detestable that Tessa kept her mouth shut only in situations like this.

“Don’t make me say it again. You really are… good at making people out into bastards.”

“That’s, no, not…!”

“Then tell it to me straight. What are you doing now? When did I ask you to have sex?”

He has been thinking about it since before, but Hert had never sent any signals to Tessa that he wanted that. He didn’t even touch her body. He was rather careful as if he was handling fragile glass.

“Answer me.”

As Hert muttered, Tessa opened her mouth carefully.

“But….”

“But?”

“…You’re doing me a favor because of this….”

“…What?”

At Tessa’s unexpected reply, Hert was at a loss for words. What did she say now? He even doubted his ears. But what struck him even more was her following words.

“I-If not for this, there’s no reason to keep me alive…. I have sinned against the lord, and I will be punished…. So you punish me—”

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

In the end, Hert couldn’t stand it and growled low.

No reason to keep her alive? She would be punished? At Tessa’s increasingly unacceptable words, Hert breathed roughly. What the hell was she talking about? Hert frowned and continued his words quickly.

“How dare you say that in front of me? Punish you…? Are you out of your mind? This relationship… Did you persevere, thinking that you were being punished by me? Again, you were the one who started this relationship in the first place. It was you!”

Tessa shrugged her body reflexively at the sight of Hert yelling. She didn’t know exactly what she did wrong with him, but it was clear that it was against his heart. It was the first time Hert had been this angry since the day they first slept together.

She trembled and stuttered as she continued her speech.

“I-I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean…. To make… the Lord angry…. I just… you wanted me… Because this is all… I’m u-useful for….”

“Ha, so that’s why you got your hands on my pants? To be punished? I told you to stop talking nonsense.”

“…….”

“Damn it, how can you think that way?”

Hert really wanted to look into Tessa’s head. How on earth can she come to a strange conclusion? Is it all because of sex that he has been good to her? And all this was punishment for her sins? It wasn’t even funny.

“Do you at least know what your sin is?”

“…I-I know.”

“But you’re still like this?”

“I’m sorry….”

“I don’t need a verbal apology. If you know your sins so well, you have something else to say to me. I wanted it from the beginning? Your body wasn’t that important to me!”

It’s unfair that he was looking like a madman now, but because of Tessa, who clearly knew what she was doing but didn’t answer his questions, Hert seemed to be half way out of his mind. Is she playing with him now?

“What are you…!”

Hert, who tried to raise his voice, found Tessa unable to raise his head. Her body was shaking. It felt like she was rolling in the indescribably mud like how he felt seeing her on the first day.

Why was she like that again? She was pretending to be a victim for something she did. The real victim is him in front of her.

Barely clasping his hands that were trembling with anger, Hert lowered his voice as much as he could.

“I’m sick and tired of seeing you like this.”

“…….”

“Why are you doing something that’s not like you? You weren’t like this in the first place. Where did all that bold personality go? Why do you come here and pretend to be so pitiful? Do you think I will forgive you if you act like that?”

The more he looked at the present Tessa, the further away she became from the Tessa who Hert had known. Tessa when she was an orphanage was always bright and confident, but now Tessa is withdrawn infinitely and only looks at others.

He hated it so much that he couldn’t put it into words.

Rather, Hert might have already forgiven Tessa if she had been the way she was before. If he had seen the Tessa of those days, he would have weakened down even if he didn’t want to be weak.

Perhaps with a single apology, he would be alright with her again, and he would long for her affection so that he could love her once more.

But it wasn’t not for the current Tessa.

“Every time you are like that, I doubt if you really are Tessa. Why, when you got an old husband, you’re better off pretending to be pitiful than being bold? So are you doing this to me too? Now that I am the lord of this place.”

“That, not, that’s not….”

“Then what is it? It’s not difficult. Say it properly. How do I know if you keep your mouth shut like that?”

“…….”

“There, again. You only shut your mouth when you’re at a disadvantage.”

Hert smirked. His head had been throbbing ever since. In fact, getting angry is only possible if there is someone who accepts it. Like Tessa in front of him, if the other person kept her mouth shut and did nothing, he would eventually lose even the energy to be angry.

“Fine, what can you and I talk about? If we had had a conversation in the first place, you wouldn’t have sold me without saying a word and ran away.”

Hert grabbed his sword and cloak that was leaning on one side of the room. He wanted to get out of this place right now. He didn’t know what he was going to do because he’d go crazy if he stayed with her.

But at that time—

Tessa hurriedly opened her mouth, with a louder voice than before.

“I left a letter, a letter…. I’m sure there was a letter….”

Tessa became nervous as soon as Hert turned his back. She was afraid that he would go out and not see her forever. So, without realizing it, she grabbed him and referred to the letter she had left in the past.

Hert can read or write, and he may have read the letter she left before leaving the orphanage.

In that letter, Tessa wrote everything down. Even though she was deceived by the director and told a lie. She decided that she would work as the maid of the baron’s daughter, and in return Hert could become a knight…. Let’s meet there…. But sooner or later, scornful laughter poured in.

“What letter? That letter asking me to leave and never look for you so that you can eat well and live well?”

“What….”

“If you write just one line, saying I’m sorry at the bottom, I have to understand that you sold me?”

“That’s….”

At Hert’s sarcastic tone, Tessa realized belatedly. The letter had been written with the help of the orphanage director. Unknowingly, Tessa covered her mouth with her palm. She managed to hold back the screams that were about to pour out.

How could she forget that? There were things that could not be forgotten and there were things that could be. If this happens, she was only ridiculing Hert.

‘That won’t do. We need to clear up the misunderstanding….’

“The letter… What I, I wrote….”

“What? Are you going to say it wasn’t written by you? Well, it doesn’t matter. Whether the letter was written by you or not, the true meaning is no longer needed. The important thing is that you betrayed me.”

“…….”

“Nothing will change.”

Hert strode towards the door. As soon as he left this room, he thought of giving up on Tessa completely from that moment on. He didn’t want to be misunderstood as a madman for being nice to her.

He must have gone crazy for a while. He had completely forgotten who that woman was. He loves her. It’s not that easy to break his heart, just because he despaired that she’s a woman who coldly asks him not to look for her.

‘You bastard.’

Hert had a hard time understanding why it was difficult to think rationally in front of Tessa. And why does the inside of his mouth become dry as if he swallowed something gritty? All right, let’s stop thinking. She’s a woman I will never meet. He was about to grab the doorknob.

There was a thumping sound from behind. Reflexively looking back, he saw that Tessa was lying on the floor as if she had fallen while getting out of bed. From her mouth came the sound of weeping and painful moans.

“Ah, huk….”

After that, he couldn’t think of anything. When he came to her senses, Hert suddenly ran to Tessa and checked her around.

“Hey, are you hurt?”

“I’m, I’m sorry…….”

“You’re still bedridden, so why are you coming down the bed?”

After checking that Tessa wasn’t hurt and that she was okay, Hert let out a sigh of relief. At the same time, he was taken aback by his actions. Idiotic bastard. There was no other fool like him. He’s consciously being such an idiot?

Hert let go of Tessa’s arm that he had been holding.

“Damn, what the hell am I doing…?”

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