Chapter 79

Chapter 79

But against Tessa’s wishes, Hert didn’t believe her.

“Lies.”

A voice full of conviction weighed down Tessa. Words soon poured out as quickly as Hert pressed her.

“Are you lying to get out of here again? To use my sympathy to catch me off guard. Is that it? Now that I see it, everything you say are all lies. How can I trust you like this?”

“…Th… at…”

“Don’t be so upset. Because you brought this upon yourself. If you hadn’t run away today, I would have believed you. But not anymore.”

Tessa felt like she was dangling off the side of a cliff, but she was swallowed in it. Don’t even dream of getting out of here. The place that suits you best is here. Misfortune seemed to whisper to her. Tessa gasped for breath. The misfortune that she had barely spit out was coming back again and again.

You said… You said you would believe me… Tessa burst into tears as she said nothing. Many of the words swirled in her mouth, but she couldn’t get them out.

Why, why don’t you believe me? Why… It’s not my fault what happened today. I’ve never intended to run away… Tessa blankly looked up at Hert. The light that had illuminated the darkness was fading.

“Isn’t it actually funny that I believed you even once? I believed you, but today I was betrayed like this. I have no reason to trust you anymore right now.”

Hert said, staring at Tessa, who looked shocked. In fact, on his side, he really had no reason to trust Tessa unconditionally. For him who had already been betrayed twice, it was a surprise to act like this now. Because no one will listen to the words of a person who abandoned him twice.

‘You never betrayed me? You betrayed me like this…’

Of course, Tessa’s answer bothered him. That she, too, had been tricked and was sold here. That she didn’t betray him.

Even if he wanted to ignore it all, he just couldn’t. But he couldn’t believe it either. Of course, if she hadn’t run away today, he would have believed her right away.

But for now, he couldn’t shake the thought that Tessa was lying. It’s a lie she spit out to get out of this situation. If he was deceived again, that would be like revealing that he really was an idiot, Hert thought.

So Hert decided to withhold judgment until his subordinate, Lange, returned.

He let go of Tessa’s shoulder, which he was holding with cold eyes.

“Let’s stop now. Only lies would come out when you open your mouth. What can I say to you?”

“…Her!”

As Hert tried to pull away from her, Tessa reflexively reached out and grabbed him. It was because she felt like Hert was going to abandon her forever. He kept saying that the chance was the last, and that she had abandoned that opportunity. She doesn’t want it. Don’t go, Her. Tessa clung to him crying. She didn’t want to be abandoned. She didn’t even want to part with him again.

“Th, then I… What should I do? What, what should I do… to earn your trust…? I’ll, I’ll do everything you ask… please…”

Tessa was desperate. She wanted to earn Hert’s trust. She wanted to prove that her words were not false. She didn’t want him to abandon her.

“Please, Her… my, words…”

Hert looked at Tessa’s slender hands, gripping his clothes as hard as he could. It seemed to show how cornered she was. It was perhaps the first time Tessa had clung to him in this way.

Hert laughed inwardly. Even considering all of this, wasn’t she the one who chose to run away from him in the first place? She should have expected that he would react like this. After driving a nail to one’s heart and thought it would work out somehow, that was really the worst of her.

“I guess you still don’t know what I want.”

“…What, what do you…”

“You’re still like this until the end.”

At this point, he got confused again. Is she clever, or is she really ignorant? All along, there was only one thing Hert wanted. He stared straight into Tessa’s tear-stained face and parted his lips.

“Are you going to do everything you ask?”

“…I, I will. I can do… Whatever you say…”

“Then…”

Hert paused for a moment.

Yes, there was only one thing he wanted from the beginning.

“Say you want me. That you couldn’t live without me.”

Hert wanted Tessa. He wants her to want him just as much as he did.

He always wanted just that.

“You love me. Say it with your own mouth.”

Tessa lost her words for a moment.

Love…?

Can she say… she loves Hert?

Suddenly, she couldn’t think of anything. Love. It was a word she had never thought of before. And this was only natural.

Thus far, she never thought that she even deserved it.

The chance to love and want someone, of course, was not given to Tessa.

‘Even if…… I love Hert…… Will it work?’

She wanted to be with Hert. She wanted to see him smiling kindly at her every day, and just being in the same space with him made her happy. That’s how much she likes Hert. She did like him. Isn’t that why she was greedy?

But love… It made her nauseous. Tessa had never once wondered if she could love Hert.

The one who pushed him to hell because of a moment’s wrong choice, was she allowed to love him? No, no. She can’t do that. That’s really… shameless.

Love had to be sublime. At least, it should not be defiled. The feelings that should only be directed towards each other would not last long if they were impure. Therefore, Tessa’s feelings for Hert were tainted. She thought she couldn’t handle the pure feeling because she already thought that everything about her was dirty.

Tessa couldn’t love Hert.

Her love is insignificant compared to him.

“Why are you hesitating? Is it because you can’t love someone like me even if you die?”

At that moment, the sharp voice pierced Tessa’s ears. When she suddenly turned her head back, Hert’s face looked distorted. He seemed more angry than before. Is it because he thinks he is being ignored?

“Her, I, I…”

“Still, there’s nothing to do about it. Because you will marry me.”

“What is that…”

Marry? Tessa froze as the unexpected word escaped his mouth again. She was marrying Hert? Her mind was now completely white and empty.

Marriage was something she had never even thought about. Marriage was like a word that had been erased from her head.

Besides, Tessa had already been married once. Her unwanted old husband had died, but in any case, Tessa’s present official position was that of the late Marquis Jutert’s second wife.

To be married to Hert, who has a bright future ahead of himself, was an unbelievable reality.

“You said you would do anything. You said it. So get rid of that ridiculous looking face.”

Noticing Tessa’s visibly pale complexion, Hert spoke more ferociously. Because in her reaction, he knew that she did not want to marry him.

“Bu, but…”

“You cannot refuse. No matter how much you hate it, you must marry me. Understand?”

Tessa’s hand trembled. She does not deserve just to be by his side. She didn’t want to be his only wife because she didn’t deserve to love him shamelessly. Tessa quietly looked at Hert while wanting to live and die. She didn’t want to do anything to hold him back.

Suddenly, she remembered the words she had once shared with the Marchioness.

‘Sir Shine is a fine knight, Tessa. That’s why he will be entrusted with bigger and more important things in the future than now. He is a great talent befitting of it. There will be more people who want Sir Shine.’

The Marchioness was right. Hert was greatly talented. As time goes by, more and more people will want him. That was clear to anyone. Thus, his value would increase even more, and eventually he would become a precious person Tessa would not even look at.

Above all, Hert was an important person to Marquis Borwen. The Marquis will find a woman who is a good match for him. The marriage will support him on this ground where status and bloodline matter.

Surely, his wife would be an elegant, noble, educated, and intelligent woman. And will be far different from her, who is neither noble nor beautiful and had grown up as an orphan without receiving an education, dumb and ignorant.

‘As expected, the place next to Hert is not mine…’

People would have thought that way too. It’s funny in the first place. The fact that the second wife remarried… Everyone will laugh and point fingers at Tessa. Greedy ungrateful woman. Blocking the future of a man who can climb higher. Her nose twitched again.

‘I, I will get … in Hert’s way…’

That’s not allowed. She can’t disturb him.

At that time.

“Is that also a lie? You will do everything.”

She heard the man say that it was ridiculous, feeling empty. Tessa came to her senses and shook her head.

“No, no…! Her, I just…”

“Then why can’t you speak? Is marrying me such a terrible thing to do?”

“I’m already married…”

“Damn it, don’t even mention old bastard. And what does it matter? Is remarriage any different?”

“People will…”

“Don’t make excuses. I’m talking to you right now. It’s not like we don’t know each other.”

At that moment, Hert’s gaze fell on Tessa’s disheveled clothes.

“Or are you saying that you don’t want to give your heart even though you give your body?”

“…It’s not—”

“Just be honest. Don’t make all sorts of excuses. Because it makes me feel dirty.”

“I really…”

“Then prove it.”

Prove? Saying that, Hert lifted Tessa’s skirt and thrust his hand into it. Tessa drew in a breath as the hot hands inside her underwear quickly dug in and grabbed her thighs. Hert’s hot breath poured over her face.

“I’d rather you just accept it like this. Then I’ll pretend I don’t know that you rejected me.”

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e/n: man… as frustrating as this entire situation is, i kinda feel for tessa. I understand how crippling self-doubt is, and even more so with all the trauma she’s faced until now. i just can’t fault her for that… (now if hert just hecking lets her speak more than two words per sentence ugh)

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