Chapter 61

Chapter 61

I felt like I had succeeded in a very arduous goal. I felt so happy right now. Regardless of anything, the fact that Kaichen had acknowledged and recognized me made me all warm and fuzzy. I am going to stick right next to him forever…

Even if I completed this novel with a happy ending, I wanted things to remain like this. I wanted to live peacefully with him. I always had an image of enjoying the rural life alone. I always pictured myself alone. Was it because I had accepted that there would be no one with me? Or was it because I knew that nobody would ever understand my loneliness and pain?

I was lonely from the moment I arrived in this novel and realized I was neither the protagonist, nor someone important or likable. I was trapped in a world which was under a spell for a hundred years. It made me despair. I hadn’t afforded myself the luxury of wishing someone to like and understand me.

So, I had decided I would help Julius until he became an emperor and quietly disappear into a peaceful life in the country for the rest of my life. Well… that was what I had planned until…

I looked at Kaichen, who was quietly biting the siron and looking at the yellow willow leaves swaying in the wind. I wanted to freeze this moment and preserve it. I wished it would always be like. I wanted to stay here in this tranquil moment with a little anxiety gnawing at my heart.

Couldn’t I just tell him everything? Kaichen was a serious and strict man, but he would never abandon me no matter how ugly my truth was. Would he understand me? I had committed a hefty crime. Could he really brush that away and be with me? I wanted to tell him. I didn’t expect him to understand me, but I wanted somebody to tell me that it was okay. That everything would be okay.

I wanted to share it with someone in the hopes that the burden would be lighter on me. I remembered tat day when I was struggling with the symptoms of addiction, Kaichen had comforted me and told me that everything would be okay. That I will be alright.

I wanted to pour out my secrets and hear him say the same. That it was going to be alright. Am I greedy in wishing that? I sat there debating for and against the idea until eventually I couldn’t really tell him. Kaichen had just acknowledged me and accepted me as his disciple, I didn’t want that to be ruined. Human being are desperate creatures. I was used to his cold indifference and harsh words, but the warmth he had shown me today made me want more of it. I didn’t want him to revert back to his cold self towards me again.

I couldn’t help it. My heart fluttered whenever he looked at me with that warmth in his eyes. Besides, I didn’t want to ruin this tranquil and peaceful moment we shared together. I wanted to keep this moment with me. Next time when I have a chance to tell him, I won’t avoid it.

I organized my thoughts and tried to lie back down on the bench. A golden butterfly flew by. Kaichen was obsessed with gold, I guessed.

“A magic letter.”

Each wizard had a different shape of receiving a magic letter. Julius’ was, obviously, of blazing blue flames. Kaichen’s was a gold butterfly. It was adorable that a cold, towering Kaichen had such an amiable messenger form. Kaichen seemed to avert my gaze.

“Your messenger… is very much like you.”

Kaichen glanced at me. The butterfly landed on his index finger before dissolving into gold powder and spitting out a parchment. It was so fascinating. This was my first time seeing a magic message. It was entrancing. In this world, letter could be sent by anyone via the Magic Association for a price. However, magical messages could be sent only by registered wizards. Usually, it’s in the form of a round spere of light that flies to the person and disperses. Kaichen’s was beautiful. It, however, consumed mana so I was surprised when Kaichen opted for magic messages. Usually, he likes to keep his mana consumption to the minimum and doesn’t care for fancy messengers.

However, sending magical messages was very convenient. The messages get delivered to great distances and really fast. But it costs a lot of money…. Great wizards usually stored a part of their mana on objects which they use to communicate, like the ring Kaichen uses to communicate with Julius. It was much like a video call. I was curious. If it was Julius, he would have just communicated through Kaichen’s ring, so who could have sent a magic letter?

“It’s for you,” said Kaichen.

“What?!”

Kaichen handed me the parchment. I accepted it. I recalled telling Angel, whom I had entrusted with the management of the mansion before leaving Acrab, that he could send a letter and address it to Kaichen in emergencies.